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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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January 19, 2010

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I know its a mute point but I am all for: HUE JACKSON to return as OC. He was the man who turned our WR core a few years back into one of the best in the league!

It would be nice to actually know WHY Mikey Brown loves Bratkowski so much, given the record of mediocre/inconsistent performance. Is it really loyalty, or is Mikey Boy just to lazy to go find out who might be better? I think it's the latter.

It takes a site like this and these types of articles to show MFB and his clan what needs to be done to get a winner. It also takes the fans and the local media to get on board. MFB is just too damn hardheaded for the most part to take outside advice. The only thing that will make this man make a change, and we all know what it is, is not to buy season tickets or buy tickets at all. I am sure MFB thinks Zimmer will keep this team winning even though he knows his butt buddy still lacks the knowledge to improve this offense. MFB does not care as long as this team is mediocre and brings back the fans. How many other NFL owners would stick with Brat for this long? NONE! Does anyone know what BrezDUHhan is doing these days? This is all you need to know about failure. MFB knows he does not have to make significant moves this year because, golly jeez, they went to the playoffs. That will be his motto and selling point this off season for people to buy tickets. It is a joke with this franchise! MFB only wants money and he never ever wanted a winner! I don't care what anyone says.

BresDUHan, inventor of the hell-yeah-go-ahead-and-score-on-us defense, is currently the linebackers coach for the Florida Tuskers of the United Football League. According to Wikiality.

I don't know if it's been mentioned here yet, but in the latest ESPN mag, Brat declares that in goal to go situations the defense has the advantage on third down. Because they know exactly what he's going to do.

Is everyone really that surprised that Bratwurstki is back? Really? We all knew this was going to happen.

Jordan, I was holding out hope that there has been no press about Brat returning because the Browns were waiting for the Ravens to lose so that could talk to Hue. I know in my head that they are really just afraid of pissing off fans and stifling season ticket sales. But a man has to hope for something.

What more do we need to see than SIX CONSECUTIVE GAMES with ZERO TOUCHDOWNS in the second half? That clearly demonstrates that opposing DC's can adjust at halftime while Brat takes a nap.

@Payne:

No dice. Adam Schefter reported that Hue Jackson is interviewing with Oakland to be O.C. This is yet another infuriating development. It has been well documented how Chad and many other players LOVE Hugh Jackson. He clearly has the whole team behind him and is deserving of a coordinator job. But we're not even going to attempt to reboot what is clearly a totally predictable, stagnant offense. It makes me sick.

I fucking hate Mike Brown. He's such a goddamn asshole. We actually have most of the key pieces in place to compete for a Super Bowl (QB, very good D, very good RB), but his stubborn, short-sighted, arrogant approach is gonna fuck it all up again. We will NEVER win as long as that cocksucker is alive.

Ahhh. Sorry for the curse words. Needed to let off some steam.

SM-

Well said, and I feel your pain. Fuck the whole Brown Family and their incompetent ways!

SM,

I agree with your sentiments, but, if MB did die tomorrow.

We'd get LPGA Lesbian look-alike Katie Blackburn as our new GM and owner.

Crickets....crickets...then BOOOOOOOOO!

God imagine what would happen if a Brown child and Bratwurst had a baby. No, don't imagine it. It's horror I tell you, horror.

I dont know how much of it is personal -- Mikey Boy Brown does seem to reward loyalty and is known to give people positions because of their past experience with the team Lee Johnson notwithstanding... However, he also does this -- usually at far less of a cost than going out and getting someone competent -- that's the business side of things.

You need to get back to your basics and tell people about Mikey Boy fucking it up again and not replacing an ineffective coach -- rather than go into anything about said coach other than he sucks golden gopher balls. Again, it isn't about Bratkowski per se but rather that one of the tenents of this site -- that Mikey Boy Brown is unresponsive and in fact should BE responsive!

Note that the Bungholes didn't even make the Brat's back announcement; it was Brat himself saying he'd be returning. So lame.

Project Mayhem task.

Billboards that proclaim that the fans aren't coming back unless brat GOES!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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