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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Bengals Limp into Playoffs | Main | WOOO! PLAYOFFS! MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN! »

January 04, 2010

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I take the Jets and the points!

The Bengals are the lowest scoring team in the playoffs. They haven't beaten a good team since the win over the Ravens which was ages ago. Their defense is incredibly banged up and just got steamrolled. Ocho might be hurt worse than he's letting on. Benson is banged up. They had the whole season to stop getting offensive penalties but last night featured a series with three consecutive, yet again. One and done.

We need a project mayhem action this week. There should be signs saying that a real General Manager is still needed! My early prediction for 2010 is a serious backslide... there is no way in Hades they sweep the division games again next year, and if they hadn't done that they'd be home for the playoffs.

I'd take the Bengals, I don't like my kids that much anyway. Last night Costas said the line in Vegas opened at Bengals -4 around 11:30 P.M. So it may have gone down to -2.5 then back up to -3. I think Cinci has a good chance agains the Jets. The Jets used all their tricks to win, the wildcat and the short passing game. The Bengals called is a game after the last drop in the 2nd qtr. Benson not playing let me know they weren't trying either, and after Sims got hurt the defense was done as well. One issue, Crocker has to come back b/c Nelson is no cover man. Why are Hebert and Nelson on this team? Why do the Bengals need 2 special teams aces taking up a roster spot of another player?

Yea, I liked the dumb comments by Votasi on the blog, he sounds like he works for MFB. Um, Votasi, the O Starters were in there for almost the entire game, and I would like for you to tell us all, how did they do? Those play calls are the same play calls Brat has called for the entire season. You think Brat is all of a sudden going to break out this magical playbook that he has stored away for this special occasion? LOL The O is still doing the same stupid penalties they have been doing all year and the OLman were even laughing about it. Yea, they take their JOB real serious I see. How do you know Peko, Crocker and Geathers will be back? You don't and we lost Simms for the season and now Chad could be worse off then expected since he is getting an MRI today.

This team is pitiful, the O has been horrible all season. Lucky for this team they had Zimmer or they would not be in the position they are in. Can they turn it around? Well, I can't wait to see it on Saturday because even ML said you cannot turn it off and on like people think. I am sure he is right, but now he has to prove us and himself all wrong.

Jets. The Bengals haven't played well since the second Pittsburgh game.

what else would you expect a tiger jew to say..."no, no, no, i'll take the burnt piece of toast, it's alright, i'm just your poor motha'".

you don't know peko, crocker, and geathers won't play, so calm your balls. yeah, i guess you're correct when you say the starting O did play 'almost' the entire game. 35 minutes is more than half, so you got me there. of course the jets O was on the field for how much of that? oh yeah, and our real D got steamrolled. you know i forgot that number 51 was a part of our 10 win season. shit, skuta, the rico law, davie jones, oren hatch, st. louis' nemesis - those guys really failed to live up to their reputation. and you know next week, it'll be more of the same with jerry curl laying down on the sidelines signaling reception in his sweet number 89 jersey.

ced's not banged up, peter breath. we kept him out to prevent him from getting banged up in a game we could have given a shit less about winning. the only thing i find fault with yesterday is that it seemed there was some confusion about whether or not we were going to walk through the night or not. the league should allow just a flat forfeit option, or the option to field replacement players for one week only, as opposed to having people line up to get hurt in the end.

we didn't need this game in the least. the jets did. next week we will, and you midol moaners can look forward to predicting your next embarrassing failure with hysterical giddiness.

how's bobbie's ingrown ass taste?


Speaking of Hangovers I had one this morning...I was mad that I was hungover...WTF, all I had was

two 24oz cans of PBR, half a Pizza, 10 Buffalo wings and 10 garlic curry wings (I made them, because bw3 doesn't have garlic *curry* wings anymore)

So anyway, yeah, I should have been fine this morning...but I wasn't...oh well, it was nothing two tall glasses of milk and a multi-vitamin couldn't cure (still took about 3 hours to get back in balance though)

I think it was great the Bengals got shut out on prime time Sunday Night Football...Screw You NBC...

btw, Faith Hill is SMOKIN' Hot :) What a sweetie

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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