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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« The 2009 Bengals Season: A Triumph for Anecdotal (mindless), not Statistical (thoughtful) Analysis | Main | So Do You Think Brett Favre Will Have Fun Out There Sunday or What?! »

December 10, 2009


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It was funny to read the comments on this article, some people are just fucking stupid. "Why should we get a bubble, we would only need it once or twice per year anyway?"
You guys should enlist someone to make a COMPLETE and UNABRIDGED list of reasons MIke doesn't give a shit about the team winning if it means his pocketbook will be affected in any way.
This would be like reason 65.

While we're on things "you guys should do", how about a roll call post, where people give their name, their status (regular, lurker, infrequent visitor, etc), and their "allegiance" (pro-WDR, anti-WDR, undecided). That would allow me to temper my responses to the less dumbassed who come on the site and irritate me.

Oh, just to clarify, that wasn't directed at CurseofBoJackson, just a thought I'd had repeatedly over the past few weeks that came to mind.

Also, regarding the article, specifically the dumbasses who commented about how Palmer and the Bengals need to "man up" - really? And why is that? Because throwing the football in 30+ mph winds, rain, and/or snow really prepares them to play in a dome and in sunny San Diego over the next two weeks? It's guys like that who give Bengals fans a bad name.

I would write a longer message, but my hatred of MIke Brown is making me dizzy.

It looks really nice, but I would think that practicing on a field with football lines instead of using orange cones for endzones would be helpful.

Okay. If you tried this ploy on your parents, you wouldn't get away with it. If your kids tried it you, you wouldn't fall for it either. So why are the American people letting the Government get away with this ploy? I don't know. And I don't get it. Maybe there is just so much going on that it gets lost in the mix. Maybe it's because of the deceptive and disingenuous way it's being presented by Pelosi, Reid, and Obama.

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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