WhoDeyRevolution

Hobspin: Playoff Edition

Hobspin time. I'm pretty interested in these next few Hobson Choices, since Baghdad Hob has written about an actual, real Bengals' playoff berth for as many times as Jerome Simpson has yards in his career.

The way Marvin Lewis sounded Monday and what he went through in 2005, it is not really a question of if, but how long will he rest the starters if New England wins.   A quarter? A half? The entire game?

A few minutes? A series? The time it takes Mike Brown and family and friends to scurry up to Giants Stadium in their lovely led-painted jalopy, only to have their day squandered by Marvin Lewis' ludicrous, un-old school decision to sit Mike's prized footballers? "Connect me to that raccoon-like black man I give my money to this instant!" Mike will shout, but to no avail as Mr. Butterball Executive gets sidetracked on his quest to find a payphone, swept away by the rich odors sneaking out of the Baltus Bread and Butter Shop in Marshfield, Wisconsin. (Most efficient route my ass, GPS. Troy Blackburn studied the art of getting-to-places-by-gut-and-being-forced-to-look-out-the-car-window-instead-of-staring-at-your-hideous-wife-that-got-you-a-sweeeeet-job in law school.) What are we talking about again?

Ben-Gal and WDR Poster Girl Sues TheDirty.com

The Ben-Gal identified as "Sarah J" who all WDR comrades have seen in every WDR/Blackfinn posters all season is suing a website called "The Dirty" for libel because of this post where it is alleged that she contracted a few STDs from her cheating ex-boyfriend.

Does anyone doubt that the person who emailed in these lies is some plus-sized beast who is insanely jealous of WDR's poster girl?  Fight on Sarah J!  Viva Sarah J! 

BearFansUnited.com Plagiarizes WDR

Another fan base copies WhoDey Revolution.  This time, Chicago Bears fans calling themselves "Bear Fans United" have basically entirely ripped off WDR.  They have paid for a billboard reading "To the McCaskey Family, Do the right thing.  Hire an ENTIRELY NEW coaching staff (and GM).  Sincerely, The Chicago Bears Fans."  They are asking fans to donate to cover the costs of the billboard (and a newpaper ad).

Sound familiar?

It was only last October that WhoDey Revolution bought four billboards around Cincinnati that read "Dear Bengals, Hire a General Manager.  Love, Your Fans."  Then we raised over $4,500 to keep them up for 2 months.  

Notwithstanding the grammatical issues, I am all for fans working to have their voice heard by their teams.  I do wish that they were a little more creative, or at least, gave WDR some credit for their billboard campaign.  And I don't have that much sympathy for Bears fans, who were in the Super Bowl in 2006.

For those of you counting out there, this latest effort makes four teams with fans who have taken WDR's lead in erecting billboards protesting their team of choice.  Here are the other three:

• Buffalo Bills fan erects billboard that reads "It's time to clean house, RALPH," in reference to owner Ralph Wilson.  Dick Jauron is fired one month later.
• Notre Dame alumni pay for a billboard over a popular South Bend hangout before the start of the season that says "Best wishes to Charlie Weis in the 5th Year of his college coaching internship.  Weis is fired after the season.
• Earlier this month, Oakland Raiders fans put up a billboard that reads "Mr. Davis, Do the right thing, HIRE A GM." So far, nothing has changed.

Are fans generally more frustrated with their teams than normal?  Has the internet allowed fans to have a greater voice in their team's success?  Or did WDR just start a trend? 

Keep Zimmer

As we have discussed previously, Mike Zimmer is a very good coach.  He has turned the Bengals defense into a tough, hard-hitting, smart squad that has been the basis for the Bengals turnaround this season.  His contract is up after this season.   After the family tragedy that Zimmer has suffered this year, he could very well want to move closer to family or take some time off altogether.  But let's assume that Zimmer's top goal is to become a head coach, and if that is not possible, to take the most lucrative contract to remain a D coordinator.

As PFT points out, Zimmer's name has not been popping up for head coaching jobs.  Perhaps this is because the media keeps focusing on more well known former coaches (Cowher, Shanahan, Gruden), but with Zimmer's stock sky high, he is sure to get offers from other teams to become their D Coordinators if head coaching jobs don't open.

If Zimmer has the desire and gets an offer to become a HC, there is not much the Bengals can do to to keep him in the Queen City.  But it would be idiotic to let Zimmer sign with another team as their D coordinator.   

The same PFT article links to a Bengals.com article where Zimmer told Hob that he has had negotiations with the Bengals in November, but  "nothing came to fruition."  And now Zimmer is getting interest from other teams to be D Coordinator.

The Bengals need to make sure that a higher offer doesn't cause Zimmer to leave town.

Unlike player salaries, coaching salaries are not covered by the revenue sharing or salary cap restrictions, which is why big spenders like the Cowboys and Redskins always have the highest paid coaching staff.  

If Mike Brown and the Bengals want to make sure that this winning season is repeated, it's time to open up your wallet.  Keep Zimmer.

2009 AFC North Champions

It certainly wasn't pretty, but in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, a win is a win and your Cincinnati Bengals are the 2009 AFC North Champs.  This is hard to believe.  In my lifetime, the Bengals have made the playoffs three times.  The first time, Joe Montana showed me that we live in a cruel, intolerant world and ruined my childhood.  The second time, I have no lasting memories.  The third time, Kimo von Oelhoffen left me questioning humanity.  Fourth time's a charm?

Perhaps - but anyone who has seen any of their last few games would have a hard time believing the Bengals are well positioned to win in the playoffs for the first time in 19 years.   We here at WDR have been writing about the issues all season (Dennis Roland has reported eligible).  But, today is not about harping on the many issues the Bengals need to address before the playoffs.  Today is about celebrating how far the Bengals have come in one season. 

Hopefully some day winning the division will be expected and not so surprising.  But for a team that has made the playoffs twice in my lifetime and has not won a playoff game in 19 years, today is a good day to be a Bengals fan.

Who Dey.

Merry Christmas, Cincinnati!

Here's your present:  crippling budget deficits!  (You got those too?!  No way!  Awesome!  Exclamation points!!!!)

Not that any of this is new, but here's the NY Times (via Barry Ritholtz) on how the "stadium boom" era is wreaking havoc with budgets at the municipal level.  Cincinnati takes center stage and they hit on every major point.  Not least of which involves the f'ed up fact that Bedinghaus works for the Bengals now.

Who Should You Be Rooting For

Although we're primarily rooting for Santa to leave nothing but coal at the Brown household, the next two weeks present a crazy number of playoff scenarios, and given all the various tiebreakers, it can be difficult to know which team's wins present a benefit for the Bengals, and which actually hurt the team.  Here at WhoDeyRevolution we've put down the egg nog just long enough this week to give you a comprehensive answer to this question, so you can go into the next two weekends of games at least slightly more informed than your relatives.

Barring a total collapse, the Bengals appear to be on a collision course with New England for the #3/4 seed in the AFC.  Obviously, the Bengals need to win at home against KC, and on the road at NYJ.  On the other hand, any Pats loss would likely drop them to the #4 spot, so cheering for Jacksonville and Houston (while perhaps futile) would certainly help out the boys in stripes.

However, assuming both teams take care of business and finish at 11-5, then things get murky.  Let's move through the NFL's tiebreakers one by one:

Let's Take Care of the Playoffs This Week. Deal?

Now look, the thought of Mark Sanchez dropping back to pass in January at the Meadowlands is about as intimidating as David Klinger dropping back to throw to Allen DeGraffenreid, but consider this from the Fifth Down Blog at the NY Times:

Has any team in recent memory squandered as much of its strength?

• The Jets have the No. 1 defense in the N.F.L. (see below)
• The Jets have the No. 1 rushing offense in the N.F.L. (see below)
• The Jets have outscored opponents, 282-221.
• The Jets are 7-7.

Okay, so the reason they have a high rush yards/game stat is because they have to run a crap load to minimize the odds of The Sanchise making awful mistakes.  But still, I'd prefer to take my chances with some LJ Rage this week against the Chiefs.

Even if the Chiefs, like everyone else, can easily see the Bratwurst's plan of attack coming way in advance, they can have fun trying to stop it.

Fall of the Bengals' running game

Since preseason, the Bengals have been defined by their supposedly outstanding running game. Baghdad Hob and objective journalists alike regularly praise the ground attack, and label it the primary reason for the team's success.

However, with a below-average 4.1 average, they, statistically at least, should not praise the attack for being the key offensive factor when the unit performs well. I'd argue that the passing game determines how the Bengals' offense plays; logically, it makes sense, since Carson Palmer and his receivers (along with the line) have been famously inconsistent in '09, and the Bengals' offense is ranked twentieth in variance (by Football Outsiders).

Baghdad Hob Will Ride Off Into That Sunset and Never Look Back

I've been harsh to Hob in the past for his stream of conscious overly prosey garbage, but the man is a goddamn comic poet warrior. From his mailbag on 12/15.

Q: I know we have a "new identity" on offense, but it seems to have sacrificed the rhythm of the passing game. Do you think it is time they concentrate more on getting Carson Palmer and our offense going?
--Rico R., Groveport, OH

I'm a big fan of the sarcasm there "Rico", if that is your real name. 

RICO: The passing game was damn near iambic pentameter about a month ago when the offense racked up touchdowns on eight of nine possessions against the Bears and Ravens using the same I.D. they have now. 

Oh Hob, the way you fall back on that Bears game when Brat was blacked out for most of it and Coach Hayes had to call the plays is damn near anapest. Anapest can also be accurately used to describe Brat's playcalling rhythm (Two short and then one long).