IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Looking awfully nice in that painting for it to be pittsburgh.
Posted by: Bglove25 | November 15, 2009 at 10:58 AM
All the rape and murder? Nope, looks like Pittsburgh to me.
Posted by: Andy | November 15, 2009 at 11:05 AM
Beautiful pic and title. In other news, according to PFT, our esteemed Redeemer is interested in world class d-bag Larry Johnson.
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/11/14/mike-brown-isnt-ready-to-crown-his-team-and-could-be-adding-to-it/
Posted by: Danimal, Destroyer of Worlds, Eviscerator of Steeler Fans | November 15, 2009 at 11:40 AM
I for one am very much against this rumor, and hope MFB does not screw us with this move
Posted by: Danimal, Destroyer of Worlds, Eviscerator of Steeler Fans | November 15, 2009 at 11:42 AM
Inactives: Keith Rivers, Andre Smith, Jordan Palmer, Fui Vakapuna, Evan Mathis, Chase Coffman, Jerome Simpson, and Orien Harris.
I was hoping the missing draft first day (Smith, Coffman, Simpson) would play... that means they even picked Kooistra over HippopotaSmith?
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 15, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Got to watch the game at home today, no retard Squeeler fans. Kinda wish I would've gone now!
Posted by: VegasKev | November 15, 2009 at 04:11 PM
Bengals sweep Steelers in regular season 09 !!!!
WHO DEY Brian Leonard and the Cincinnati Bengals !!!!
Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 15, 2009 at 04:15 PM
who dey
Posted by: Malcolm | November 15, 2009 at 04:42 PM
Check out my commentary on my blog!
Posted by: David Jacob | November 15, 2009 at 05:06 PM
My blog: http://bengals.gearupforsports.com/blog/2009/11/how-sweep-it-is-the-bengals-beat-the-steelers/
Posted by: David Jacob | November 15, 2009 at 05:07 PM
Wow. Nobody gave our boys a chance. Sucks for them.
Who dey!
Posted by: concretefish | November 15, 2009 at 05:20 PM
You shitheads won, and thus probably have the division squared away. Good on you. We'll see you in the playoffs. Try to keep the cheerleading in check though. Remember it was only months ago that you were in the middle of pointless protests against the same people you're gloating about now.
Posted by: Christmas Ape | November 15, 2009 at 05:29 PM
CA,
I think they're still protesting. And gloating.
But at least they're not bandwagon fans, like pretty much every Steeler fan I've ever met.
Posted by: mgl | November 15, 2009 at 05:35 PM
Ah, classless even in victory.
I'm an ardent Steelers fan and I'll admit they've got plenty of bandwagon fans. It happens when you win the most titles of the modern era. They've also have a huge core of loyal fans, which I can't say for Bengals fans, who have been long dormant and missing from their own stadium for years, but are now showing up in force like they've been around the whole time. They haven't. Fairweather fanbase.
Posted by: Christmas Ape | November 15, 2009 at 05:48 PM
Missing from the stadium for years? You are the moron of the day, since the Bengals have like a 50-game sellout streak. The Bengals have zero championships and absolutely no reason to even have had bandwagon fans all these years, but fans still show up, buy jerseys and merch, and support the team. An Enquirer sportswriter has written about it for years. People view it as an event, not as many fans in other towns view it as something that should have a certain outcome (winning), so they have supported for years, not even pressing Mike Brown to improve. They just sat back and took it. So to say the Bengals have fairweather fans is to try to say that a bunch of bikini-clad girls show up in Antarctica each week to look at hot guys. It's completely ridiculous.
I won't even go further, that's just the dumbest thing I've read in a while. FOH.
Posted by: FOH | November 15, 2009 at 06:17 PM
Q: Why do Steelers dorks troll the internet looking for places with other teams' fans gathered to comment about their most titles as if nobody watches the Super Bowl every year, the highest rated program on TV?
A: 'Cause they are classless loser dorks without lives.
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 15, 2009 at 06:18 PM
I'm still waiting for one of the classless loser Steeler dorks to explain the phenomenon of the Pittsburgh Pirates. If you're all such great sports fans that is.
Still waiting....
(sound of crickets chirping)
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 15, 2009 at 06:19 PM
Danimal, I actually just got on here to see what people were saying about the Larry Johnson possibility. With our owner's history, I knew it was a possibility he would be interested in LJ. But on the other side, I can't really see him opening up the checkbook for the guy. I also know it probably won't matter to our owner that LJ has been a locker room cancer. You can probably guess I'm not a supporter of the LJ to Cincy idea either...I honestly didn't know if the owner was interested in LJ until you posted your link.
Posted by: Bengal in Browns Territory | November 15, 2009 at 06:29 PM
CA...classless, even in defeat. What you doing on a Bengals site insulting true fans who have whethered an 18-year (or however long) storm of losing by calling them fair weather fans? Get a brain.
Posted by: Bengal in Browns Territory | November 15, 2009 at 06:34 PM
Anybody notice Quan Cosby on the kick return. He hit the first man (got away with grabbing his shirt), then followed down the sidelines gaining ground, pushing Gay just far enough out of the way and then taking out another trailing defender. Don't mess with The Q!
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 15, 2009 at 06:41 PM
Fuck Pitt. anyhow, Great win tonight.
@Bengal In Brown Territory
Which part of NOhio are you in? I'm in Findlay, which is stooler territory.
Posted by: Danimal, Destroyer of Worlds, Eviscerator of Steeler Fans | November 15, 2009 at 06:46 PM
Nice work by Bernard Scott today. And a HUGE day from Brandon Johnson and Jonathan Fanene; both are giving us great snaps.
Roland looked a little shaky today, and the play calling wasn't spectacular, but hey, a win is a win! I'm hoping Ced gets healthy soon--we definitely need him back for the Vikings game, which is a month away. I thin kwe can handle Oakland, Cleveland and Detroit without him, but we need him long term.
Also, at the NYC bar we have started to refer to Brian Leonard as the "Magic Man," because he always comes up huge in very unexpected ways. I call Frostee "The Snowman," but that's pretty obvious.
We need to win the next three games in dominant fashion--hope Chad and Carson pad the stats!!!
Who Dey! SM
Posted by: SM | November 15, 2009 at 07:18 PM
CA,
Go dig up Myron Cope and hump yourself to sleep.
Posted by: Ejm1 | November 15, 2009 at 07:35 PM
From here on out we refer to this win as the 18-12 Overture.
Overture, Noun:
An opening or initiating move toward negotiations, a new relationship, an agreement.
As in, "Hey NFL, remember us?"
Posted by: Comrade 78 | November 15, 2009 at 08:00 PM
HAAHA... TAKE that WDR... I know it's hard for DIGGTHIS to come up with more hate material on the Benagls after a win so I thought I would rub it in your face. I know it seems crazy but just want to let you guys know I was thinking about how cute your site is. Good luck getting donations and your revolution.
You guys are a joke.. or what you guys like to call... "trolls"???
Signed
YODONTDESERVETOBEFANS
Posted by: WDR=PITTFANS | November 15, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Really ready to see what happens next week. I'd imagine Andre Smith will dress, Purify will get some balls thrown his way, Scott (or LJ, which at this point, even if Ced is ready to go next week, I'd say he ends up in Cincy) gets a good amount of carries, and Michael Johnson sees some more PT. It will be interesting to see if Coffman dresses.
Very nice to have 3 weeks in a row where they should be able to evaluate some players and see if they can't be a part of this thing down the stretch.
Can not believe that they have this kind of a chance to get to 10-2.
Posted by: Gfox | November 15, 2009 at 08:33 PM
What's up with the tools from Pittsburgh hanging out on our site and bitching?
Damn, you'd think they'd be a little more gracious the year after winning the Super Bowl.
Posted by: Rich | November 15, 2009 at 09:25 PM
@Danimal: I'm in Marion. Not too far into Browns territory (if there even is a Browns territory at the moment...), but it is the north half of the state.
Posted by: Bengal in Browns Territory | November 15, 2009 at 09:26 PM
bengals did work!!
we raped the steelers. so hard. twice.
Posted by: milkyway | November 16, 2009 at 12:06 AM
Christmas Ape = Fly on My Ass
Shoo, fly, shoo.
Posted by: KTRB | November 16, 2009 at 01:36 AM
Had fun down at Blackfinn yesterday. Drank a few too many beers and then the waitress hooked us up big time. Only charged us each for 4 beers when we clearly had 10 at least. LOL Nice time. It was fun partying with Ex-Mayor Luken down there. He was throwin back with the best of em. Will definitely be back down there guys!
Posted by: BengalsDouche | November 16, 2009 at 08:26 AM
Not that it spoils the victory IN ANY WAY, but Penis King still has the Bengals ranked below the Patriots, called out the Steelers three times positively in his "10 Things I Liked" and the Bengals negatively (specifically Chine's 46-yd PI penalty) in his "10 Things I Didn't Like". This is after saying the Steelers were in "heirarchy reaffirming mode" going into the game (basically that they'd show the Bengals who the dominant team in the AFCN was). How big a douche is this guy? For every decent thing he writes, he throws about ten asinine things out there in relation to his man-crushes (Favre, Brady/Belisuck, and the Steelers/Goodell).
At least Don Banks appreciates what the Bengals are doing.
Posted by: Wyatt | November 16, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Great win. The D is for real. Hard fought and we didn't quit. I think the grit from White Tiger is rubbing off on the rest of the team.
Oh and, people still read Peter King?
Posted by: HappyNat | November 16, 2009 at 09:36 AM
You have to admit the penalty at the end of the first half gave the stillers 3 points. The Bengals gave away 7 points on a missed fg, pat, and that fg. The d was out of hound in this game and kept little ben in check. No means No.
Posted by: JoseOle | November 16, 2009 at 10:10 AM
I read Peter King for the same reason I read Baghdad Hob - just to see how asinine he can be. Like I said, occasionally he throws something good out there, like the big today about Zim and how he's dealing with the loss of his wife, but for the most part, he's too busy blowing Favre and/or Brady to maintain any journalistic integrity.
Posted by: Wyatt | November 16, 2009 at 10:11 AM
And how bout that "bend til we break" prevent defense? It's nice to see Zim has the balls to tell the D to get up there and punch them in the face instead of laying back and watching big plays unfold. I like it. And I still want a GM!
Posted by: concretefish | November 16, 2009 at 10:50 AM
Ditto for a GM,
btw, how 'bout Hobspin's revenge:
"PITTSBURGH - The balance of power in the AFC North shifted in the Bengals’ final drive of Sunday’s showdown at hushed Heinz Field..."
All I can say is LOL, WHO DEY and VIVA WDR!!!!
Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 16, 2009 at 11:01 AM
@ Comrade 78: Did you see that Hob's story about this game used that name?
http://www.bengals.com/news/article-1/18-12-overture-gives-Bengals-a-classic/b2d6e7ca-d916-427c-b4b6-73168bfeac31
Two possibilities here, since your post came 2 hours before Hob's:
1) Hob read this site, read the comments, and thought "Brilliant!" and jacked your idea. That ass.
2) Comrade 78 is, in fact, the Hobspin itself.
Posted by: Mockenrue | November 16, 2009 at 06:29 PM
With UC beating Pitt thats 3-0 of the City of Cincinnati raping Pittsburgh, and 2-0 AT HEINZ FIELD!!!
CITY SWEEP
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