IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Does ANYBODY watch the games around the Jacksonville, Florida area?
Posted by: Matt | November 21, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Jacksonville fans don't even watch their own games, much less Cincinnati's.
Posted by: Mockenrue | November 21, 2009 at 01:22 PM
Haha, yea I know man, the radio station here had like 3 contests a day where they were actually giving away a pair of of tickets for the next FOUR home games. Pretty pathetic. But thats the way all pro sports are here. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays made the playoffs a few years ago and they had record low attendance that year.
I just moved here in February and while I am more than grateful to be able to watch the games, finding a local bar where Bengals fans meet would be great.
Posted by: Matt | November 21, 2009 at 01:30 PM
Bengals 24 Oakland 13....Who Dey
Posted by: Michael | November 22, 2009 at 09:10 AM
Vegas Schmegas,
Bengals 30
Oakland Homies 3
(there's no such thing as a Raider with a home...whaddaya gonna do, raid your own backyard? Idiots)
Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 22, 2009 at 10:48 AM
unfuckingbelievable, theeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy're back!!
Posted by: Comrade Ken | November 22, 2009 at 07:18 PM
That game was FIXED, by bourgeois scourge...
Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 22, 2009 at 07:38 PM
Inexcusable...
That game was obviously FIXED
Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 22, 2009 at 07:47 PM
Raiders 20, Bengals 17? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTIN' ME!!!!
Posted by: MikeBrownGivesFreeBlumpies | November 22, 2009 at 07:52 PM
I blame Las Schmegas, and GREED
Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 22, 2009 at 08:51 PM
The game was FIXED alright, by Marvin Lewis and Bratkowski. With their you've-got-to-be-effing-kidding-me offensive game plan. Putrid.
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 22, 2009 at 11:58 PM