Take it away, Hobs

Having a stressful day today? Fortunately for you, I opened up Bengals.com and what did I find? Why, a Hobson's Choice. Day saved.

Following a question about the Bengals' AFC North chances and their future schedule compared to Pittsburgh's, Hobs jumps in.

BRANDON: How tough is this division? The Bengals could sweep the AFC North and still not win the division. So while it is absolutely huge, it is absolutely not the ends of the earth, either, because so much can happen in the last seven games.

I disagree. It is the ends of the earth if we lose. Actually, make that the ends of the Milky Way-- (sweet pause!) ironically (big word!) caused byes (maybe editing would...**** it) the defense's lost craving for the very same thing (outrageously fun transition/pun! candy bar, galaxy, playing defense-- it all fits together!).

I’m with you. Pittsburgh has a much softer schedule and even if they lose Sunday they have a 13-3 or 12-4  whiff about them right now because they have a better shot at running the table in light of the Bengals’ three brutal road games in the last 21 days of the season: Minnesota, San Diego and the Jets.

Nothing, like specific games for the Steelers coming up, to back that claim up? OK.

Going by DVOA and the more noisy practice of simply adding up upcoming opponent records, the Bengals have a slightly easier schedule than the Steelers.

 Throw in that the Bengals have never won in Minnesota and East Rutherford and are 4-9 in San Diego, and the Steelers don’t play a team over .500 and, well, it won’t be all Nat King Cole cozy in December.

Ya. Let's not consider how well the Bengals are playing (a first for Hobs); we should just think about how, in tiny sample sizes, Cincinnati played in certain stadiums and against certain teams-- (pause for effect- I can do it too, d-bag) NOT.

Still, nice 1940's cultural reference. I see that someone has been talking a page out of the Sports Guy's book.

But you have to love the way this Bengals team plays on the road. They are better built for December and the road with the commitment to the running game and how well they play defense. A running game and defense always travel well in the NFL.

Why? First of all, anyone can make a commitment to the running game. It only works if that commitment is logical and helpful to the team (another missed chance to praise the Bengals, Hobs. You're slipping).

But most importantly: why is defense of such vitality on the road, or in (presumably) bad weather? A bad defense will have the same advantages a good one has in, say, snowy conditions-- their amount of improvement should be similar. Maybe this would change if one of those defenses was built to stop the run, rather than the pass, as opposing quarterbacks can struggle throwing in freezing conditions. I don't think that's what he's saying, however.

It seems Coles has slowly climbed into the offensive scheme. Is it the media making more out of this or is he just a first- year guy with the Bengals and feeling out his "job" in the offensive game plan?  Palmer says he is a veteran that is smart and plays hard. Now with Henry gone will Coles start to have more games like he did against the Ravens and become another weapon for Carson? Kevin M., Cincinnati, OH

KEVIN: The media didn’t make much of anything. Coles struggled mightily early and while he got bashed publicly, Carson and Marvin Lewis stood by him, always talking about his professionalism, smarts and all-around game. Sunday you saw why.

I thought he was a professional regardless of the on-field results. Fremp? No, it can't be true.

 Remember, going into last week’s game Henry had three more catches than tight end J.P Foschi, so it’s not like they were throwing to him all the time. Yeah, they lose a great weapon, but it doesn’t impact Coles all that much.

Using the amount of targets Henry has in '09, which you, as the Bengals' team writer surely have access to (well, maybe not), would be better, but point taken. I still have to wonder if that's true, though. Henry, just by running a deep post or vertical route, can take away an outside linebacker and/or a safety against zone defense, leaving only one corner defending Coles.

You have to be encouraged by how elusive and quick he looked against a good defense. As old as he looked in September, he looked fresh and spry in November.

Sure it's nitpicking, but I hold Mikey Boy's scribe to the highest of standards: does Hobs even proofread, just a little? "Looked" isn't the verb tense one should use in this case, as November is still the current month.

It takes time to get comfortable in a new system, even for a guy with 655 career catches like Coles. But in the end, that experience will help the Bengals down a very tough stretch. And his willingness to block is a big reason why the running game has been so effective.

Among the other things that have, according to Hobs: Brat's super-new playbook, the offensive line, Cedric Benson, Jermi Johnson, JP Foschi's cooking class.

Among the things that haven't, according to Hobs: Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco.

Will the injury to Chris Henry make room for Jerome Simpson to finally be active? Or will they still go in a different direction, like signing a free agent? Also, I think you should do a 2,000 word column about Marvin's aggressiveness on fourth down this year. He deserves credit for that. I think that change is underrated as one of the things turning around this team. Cory B., Wintersville, OH

He is a Marvin guy, after all.

CORY:  They’ll do one of two things. Play Simpson or sign Maurice Purify from the practice squad. They won’t go get a new guy at this point. They need a guy that knows the system. Simpson offers traits they lose with Henry, such as speed and the long ball.

Ugh. "The long ball" isn't a trait; the abilities to catch the long ball or a run a deep route are traits.

But Purify is a big man (225 pounds) with good speed who has won the confidence of Carson and can help them more on special teams than Simpson. Coaches and DBs love the way Purify practices and he’s given the defenses good looks during the week, when he usually plays the role of the opponent’s leading receiver. He’s played everyone from Brandon Marshall to Derrick Mason and to much acclaim.

He has some stiff competition on the ole' practi'e squad for this prestigious role.

Mid-way through answering a question about Cedric's heavy workload:

It’d be surprising if Scott didn’t play more against Oakland and Detroit, but you know what Marvin is thinking.

You don't? How does a self-described Marvin guy not know what the man himself is thinking? Unacceptable, I say. Unacceptable.

There is no rest for a playoff run until you’ve got a playoff spot locked up. And offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski made a good point last month talking about this topic. There never really is a perfect time to make that switch, because you’ve got a back that gets better as the game goes on.

There are two ways to oppose this claim:

1. Football Outsiders has shown that running backs don't get into rhythms during games due to an abundance of consistent carries (don't steal that last phrase Hobs. that took work, dammit). It therefore doesn't make sense that Benson could.

2. Benson's yards per attempt, by quarter: 1st- 4.8, 2nd- 3.5, 3rd- 4.5, 4th- 3.7. Looking at these trends isn't difficult to do, or illogical by even traditional thought. How shocking that Brat apparently doesn't do so.

Comments

[TheTruth]

wow did someone poop in your Wheaties??????? Talk about being anal for no good reason. I've had my colleged papers face less scrutiny than you are putting on a blog entry by a reporter.

[Wyatt]

Apparently, if they are, in fact, "colleged papers", they do undergo severely less scrutiny. But, since you're obviously new around here and I'm feeling nice, I'll let you in on a little secret - mocking Geoff Hobson, aka "Baghdad Hob", aka "HobSpin" is something of a pasttime around these parts. His writing is often poorly constructed and grammatically butchered, and 90+% of the time, he's got his head so far up Mike Brown's posterior, my inner monologue takes on Mikey Boy's voice when I read Hob's stuff.

Which is an interesting picture, when you think about it: Mikey Boy's hand up Hob's backside like the ventriloquist he truly is, with Hob's head up Mikey's posterior. It's a wonder Mikey hasn't dislocated his shoulder, repeatedly, by this point.

[matthew brown]

Mr. Simon,

I am a fan of the site going on two years.....

But, you went too far with this post.

You have said that the first goal is to root for the Bengals.

You haven't said it, but I think that the second goal is to hate the Steelers (okay, despising Mikey is #2).

This is Steelers week. We hate them. Really hate them.

Hob's story wasn't that bad. You are nitpicking.

[Sly Vramavomovich]

JP Futon is Fremp.

[TheTruth]

I've seen the mocking of Hobson before and normally it is entertaining and truthfull. This time it just came off as petty and nitpicky. Honestly reading this one just left me feeling the person posting it was complaining just to complain and had no real basis for his thoughts.

A taste of the writers own medicine. "Looked" is the correct tense as far as November is concerned given that Henry will not play another game in the month of November there is no need for the current tense.

[Competitiveness]

He wasn't talking about Henry, he was discussing Coles

[Sly Vramavomovich]

@ TheTruth - Competitiveness wasn't talking about Henry when he corrected the term "looked". He was talking about Coles. But I could see how you would make that mistake considering how lax your professors must have been on reading and writing at whatever school colleged you. Probably somewhere in the Pittsburgh area.

[FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal]

Hobspin is not worth reading or getting excited about. Period.

[SM]

Hobspin, like many other online writers of his era (see: ESPN, all writers), clearly does not bother to proofread or spell check anything. It's as if he thinks it brings him closer to the readers by having grammatical and syntactical errors throughout his puff pieces. I hate it. And although my comments may contain the occasional error, the difference is that I am not a paid journalist.

As if his writing proficiency (or lack thereof) weren't already dubious, has anyone heard the man ask questions in a press conference? If you haven't, I suggest you go to the Bengals' website and listen to the Marvin Lewis press conference. Hobson's entire questioning strategy consists of making an overtly kiss-ass statement and then interjecting a question at the very end. Actual example (paraphrasing slightly, but he really said this): "So, seems like Pittsburgh has a really great run D and the Bengals do too." [Marvin waits for question] "How do you get a good run defense like the one the Bengals have?"

He's like some sort of deranged lapdog for the Bengals' organization. If you watch Marvin and Carson's reactions, they are literally dumbfounded at how inane and uninspired Hobson's questions have become. Marvin seems downright irritated. Hobson is seriously the worst journalist who ever lived and he deserves every amount of ridicule piled on by this site.

OK, I'm done. I just hate Hobson so much.

[Michael]

I also have been a fan of this site for about two years now. I have supported WDR by not going to games and by giving money to the cause. It seems that since are beloved Bengals are doing well that some fans are against the WDR saying there is no reason for this site and the bengals have magically changed. I wish this was true, but you can not say there is change by one good year. That is why the WDR is there. We want change for good.
I am not the brightest person or a writer. What I see now is everyone fighting over who is right or wrong, who are true fans or seasonal, and who can type better. What everyone needs to relize is that we are all Bengals fans and we all want the same thing....a winning team. Not just one year but all the time.

This web site is losing its substance by all the arguing. What happened to the site spitting out facts and trying to change the Bengals Management?

I relize some writers of this web site just poke fun at teams and people, where other writers are respected by posting facts. Even if you have immature post you calmly state the facts which makes this movement strong. Thank you for this.

I want to stand by a movement for change that is outlined in your Manifesto. Right now all I see is people making fun of other people and teams. How is that going to change the Bengals Management. Mike Brown and his henchmen are probably reading this site and realizing that the WDR is becoming less a threat. Do not lose your vision and keep the revolution alive....Who Dey.

Happy Veterans Day
PO1 Michael J. Kelly USN
GTMO, CUBA

[Michael]

I also have been a fan of this site for about two years now. I have supported WDR by not going to games and by giving money to the cause. It seems that since are beloved Bengals are doing well that some fans are against the WDR saying there is no reason for this site and the bengals have magically changed. I wish this was true, but you can not say there is change by one good year. That is why the WDR is there. We want change for good.
I am not the brightest person or a writer. What I see now is everyone fighting over who is right or wrong, who are true fans or seasonal, and who can type better. What everyone needs to relize is that we are all Bengals fans and we all want the same thing....a winning team. Not just one year but all the time.

This web site is losing its substance by all the arguing. What happened to the site spitting out facts and trying to change the Bengals Management?

I relize some writers of this web site just poke fun at teams and people, where other writers are respected by posting facts. Even if you have immature post you calmly state the facts which makes this movement strong. Thank you for this.

I want to stand by a movement for change that is outlined in your Manifesto. Right now all I see is people making fun of other people and teams. How is that going to change the Bengals Management. Mike Brown and his henchmen are probably reading this site and realizing that the WDR is becoming less a threat. Do not lose your vision and keep the revolution alive....Who Dey.

Happy Veterans Day
PO1 Michael J. Kelly USN
GTMO, CUBA

[concretefish]

Well said!

[concretefish]

Well said!

[Wyatt]

Stop double posting - it lessens the impact of your statements and makes appear as less of a threat. ;-)

In all seriousness, Mr. Kelly (I don't know Naval designations, so I hope Mr. isn't offensive or disrespectful) - thank you for your service, not just yesterday but every day. I hope your Veteran's Day went well.

That said, blatant attacks on the Steelers and their fans are a core part of being a Bengals fan, and if you can't recognize/support that, then you've never been in close proximity to a group of Steelers fans, specifically ones who have added alcohol to the equation. Believe me, they are deserving of our ridicule and mockery, just as Geoff "Mike Brown's Lapdog" Hobson is.

[FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal]

Anyone check the Yahoo "sports experts" or Colin Cowherd -- all picking the Steelers to win easy. Cowherd says Las Vegas *still* rates the Ravens significantly better than the Bengals. I guess the professionals are as skeptical as us Bengals fans have learned to be... seems like the Bengals have to win the Super Bowl to prove to anyone that they are good.

[Michael]

@Wyatt
Sorry about the double post. The internet connection in Cuba is not good. I posted my comment and it did not show up. So I posted it again and both showed up.

Thank you for your support of military while we are away from home.

I totally uderstand about bashing on steeler fans and yes I understand where you are coming from. I went to the new years eve game a couple years back when the steelers came to town. This is the game when we blew it in overtime. Yes the steelers fans were very rude. Made my wife not want to go to another football game. LOL

I guess what I am trying to find out is what is next for the revolution. Are there going to be new billboards or something else I can support. It seems like since the bengals are doing well the revolution has relaxed a little.

I am not trying to bash you guys. I support the cause. I talked to family members back home and they are not going to games. My father did not renew his season tickets. I stopped buying Bengals merchandise.

Basically I am just a fan wondering about the direction of WDR.

[Wyatt]

Michael,

No need to apologize for the double post. I put the little winking emoticon at the end to denote I was just being a smartass. In terms of the direction of WDR, I'm not a founder/organizer, just a supporter through comments here, suggestions, and donations, so I don't know where we're headed. I do know that there has been some debate about whether or not more Project Mayhem tasks are counterproductive (making it seem like sour grapes during a winning season) or completely necessary (to let Mike Brown know that one good half-season and counting isn't enough to sway the fans back to blind sheephood). I would guess that is the quandary that's preventing more PM-related planning at the moment, and I think we can probably agree that right now is a crucial time in the life of the Revolution and that we need to walk a fine line to keep from falling by the wayside and/or descending into self-mockery.