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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« No Dennis Or Big Breasted Women Around To Save The Bengals In Oakland | Main | My Hate Cup Overfloweth For Bob Bratkowski »

November 23, 2009

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Well said. This season has been a nice surprise, but being complacent is stupid. Like you said, you think Steelers fans are happy with 6-4? NO.

This loss scares me for two big reasons.

1. Now the Bengals will have to play really strong the rest of the way to clinch the AFC North. I know they have the tie-breaker over the Steelers, but I don't see Pittsburgh finishing worse than 10-6.

2. And this was just pointed out. I don't want the Bengals to face the Steelers in the Wild Card round. They will be out for blood, and 3-0 in one year against the defending champs seems unlikely.

And why can't this team throw the ball this year? Take away the Bears game, and Palmer has 9 TD 8 INT in 9 games. That is very, very mediocre.

I put most the blame on Bob and Marvin for being too run happy, but still, why isn't Carson calling audibles at the line more often? Like yesterday when it was 3 and 12, late, Bengals on their own 10 or 9 yard line, and it's a 7 step drop??? When Oakland had been rushing all day, and you know they would be here? Whatever.

Oh, and something else that's already been pointed out. The TE play. Yesterday, the Colts backup, yes BACKUP TE, had a big game against the Ravens. Why draft Coffman if he can't play by week 11? Oh, because we have no scouts and terrible management. Everything that WDR likes to point out.

And for you 'real fans', I'm a real fan. I remember thinking that Jeff Query and David Klingler would be our next Anderson/Collinsworth at one point after they had a good game. I remember having my heart fall out of my ass when Kimo Van Assface broke Palmer's knee on January 8th, 2006.

Good playoff teams would have won yesterday

Well the Bengals may have cost themselves the playoffs. Bear with me, assuming a loss to the Vikings and Charger since the Bengals can't beat Oakland at home. That is 5 losses. Pittsburgh plays one team that can beat them, the Ravens twice. A split with the Ravens put the Stillers at 5 losses, great we hold the tie break, however if the Bengals don't come to play against, Detroit, Cleveland, Kansas City (just beat stillers), or the Jets Cincy can finish 10-6. That is not going to get it done. The Texans have the tie break on use, and so do the Broncos. Oh and by the way, the Bengals have never beaten the Jets in Jersey, just like they never beat the Raiders on the road. I'm just saying they need to play perfect to clinch.

Well I'm not as pessimistic as you are JoseOle. We're still in the driver seat. All we have to do is win the games where we will be favored to 11-5. Plus, other teams can't slip up either and, as we just saw this week, the Raven/Steelers/Broncos aren't exactly looking sharp.

But we had a chance to sneak out the 2 seed over a Pats team that is likely better than we are. That would have been a remarkable luxury. Still possible, but no longer likely.

Just realized Mo already wrote everything I did. And more. Oh well.

i like the optimism SWB, but considering this team is 1-4 when favored this year, it leaves little room for too much hope...

i don't think the broncos will get a wild card. houston, pittsburgh, and jacksonville are all better teams with easier records.

sorry, meant 1-3.

I've already said it elsewhere on the net but *if* the Bengals were going to lay an egg like that, at least they went the full-monty and lost. Because I promise you if they'd won, absolutely no message would have registered.

Remember the debacle that was the Cleveland game earlier this year? There were terrible mistakes and lacklustre play after taking a 14-0 lead. But the team seemed to be in la-la land because they'd won...heck, all those terrible special teams, lazy efforts, bad playcalling, etc. were just hiccups, that's all!

Well, this time they didn't get away with it and they know now that they shouldn't let their record deceive them. If you think this team is as good as either the Patriots or Chargers (each also 7-3) right now, you're seriously deceiving yourself. As of today, if the Bengals played either of those teams, they'd get clobbered.

That said, the coaching staff can bring this team up to speed where they can play to that level. Hopefully this smack-in-the-face will motivate the effort.

I hate to tell you this SWB, but the Pats have yet to beat a team with over a .500 record. I don't see them as the front runner to win the Super Bowl. If anyone is a front runner it is the Colts.

They were destroying the Colts at Indy until they choked away a sure thing. Even if you didn't like Belichick's call they win that game 8 out of 10 times. I am pretty sure they beat both the Ravens and Falcons when those teams had winning records (at least going into the game).

I also am assuming that they will simply get better and better as Tom Brady returns to full form from his injury last season.

But I'll guess we'll figure out a lot more when they go play at New Orleans next week.

Oh. My. God. You are all ridiculous. Yes, bad loss. It was disgusting to watch--especially with my sister's white trash, Raider-loving boyfriend in the same room as me. However, they played like shit and only lost by a FG. A game that didn't feature their starting RB, etc. It doesn't bode well for the upcoming trip to San Diego they're making (a game I'm going to) though, either. But, what has happened after every loss the Bengals have had this year? Week 1-- Loss to the Broncos. Weeks 2-4-- 3 game win streak (against Ravens & Pittsburgh). Week 5-- Loss to Houston. Weeks 6-10-- 4 game win streak (including bye and wins against Ravens ad Pittsburgh again). Does nobody realize that they play Cleveland AND Detroit AT HOME the next two weeks? Start bitching if they're 8-4/7-5 and lost to one or both of these teams (which won't happen). They've also won games that "they shouldn't have won" this year. THIS WAS THEIR FIRST ROAD LOSS OF THE FREAKING YEAR.
Beyond that, the Steelers lost to a clone of the Oakland squad--KC. Those same Steelers are without Troy Shampoomalu, possibly Ben and any semblance of a backup QB. Do I take them lightly? No. I do think that the Steelers are an 8-8/9-7 squad though. They also have a harder schedule than the Bengals do. They play the Ravens twice, Green Bay, etc. Pittsburgh has already played the "tomato cans" of their schedule that the Bengals are going into. i would argue that the Steelers lost more yesterday than the Bengals did. Had they won, the Bengals would now be tied with them. They blew it too.
The losses this year have all been the kick in the balls that this team needed to go on a roll again. The Bengals are a good team. They're not elite yet. They were knocking on the door of being elite and squandered the opportunity yesterday. There's only 2 elite teams in the NFL right now--New Orleans and Indianapolis. New England lost to what is a now 4-6 Jets squad earlier. Again, they'll play pissed off and will steamroll a broken-hearted Browns team. I'm predicting 30-10. They'll lose to the Vikings and probably San Diego, while beating Detroit, Cleveland, New York and Kansas City.
I will say that the coaching, officiating and play-by-play announcing was downright awful. I have no idea why JJ got the call in the 4th quarter. He hasn't touched the ball in two years. Isn't that the EXACT situation you brought LJ in for? You then also have Caldwell instead of Scott back there returning kicks. Mistake. It seemed like everyone--from coaches to players were ill-prepared for this game. They just stopped passing the ball. Dumb.
Bottom line is this: they played in a place they never win, were handicapped by when they flew out, didn't have their starting RB, no LB coach, and were handcuffed by awful play-calling by Brat and Marvin (which is a surprisingly rare occurrence this year). It's too early to throw up the arms and say "Ohhh boy. Here we go!". As a Bengals fan, I will admit that I felt terrible all last week about this game. I wasn't ever confident that they were going to win or by any large amount of points. I am confident that they'll put things together and make a solid run. Anything under AT LEAST 4-2/3-3 these last 6 games would be disastrous. Until then, take a pill.

Clause, 3-3 over the next 6 games puts the Bengals at 10-6, and that may not even be enough to make the playoffs in the AFC as a wild card this year. I would hold them to a higher bar than that.


I would hold the 2009 Bengals up by their nuts like I was grabbing them by their collar

It's pretty fortunate that the Stealers lost, though. This was not a wasted Sunday, since nobody in the AFC could make up ground. We still have the Lions and Browns next week, and you know that they're going to play hard at Minnesota and San Diego. Don't give up yet.

Haha Shampoomalu..

Haha Shampoomalu..

Haha Shampoomalu..

@Clause,

"Now look, the sky is not falling. We will be fine. Maybe it lights a fire and keeps us motivated the rest of the way."

I'll skip taking that pill thanks.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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