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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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November 23, 2009


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I was at the game in the front row on the 50. Fucking awful. 14-0 thinking comfortable rout, then Bob puts his toys away. Isn't the O coordinators job to find weaknesses in the defense and attack them? I guess the only perceived weakness was on the raiders front 7 which is why we stopped trying to score for 2 and a half quarters and our plan was basically to run out the clock.

Nothing worse than getting an earful from Raider fans.

1) Are we not going to attempt any long passes because Chris Henry is hurt?

2) Why are we the only team out of 32 that has no threat of using a tight end to catch a football. This is bull shit!

3) Jeremi Johnson should not be allowed to attempt to run or catch the ball. We all know he can't do either.

4) The piss poor kicking game has cost us dearly. Can we still blame St. Louis?

5) 40 runs with your number 1 guy hurt, 22 passes. What the FUCK!

6) This game felt like Tampa in 2006. And I was at that one too. Fucking Gradkowski.

7) They actually touched the QB 1 time. That was when he threw the pick. No pressure, no blitzes, no win.

8) Dude there's a lot of seagulls in Oakland. They dropped more bombs on my car than Carson dropped on the Raiders.

9) Did Marvin say we'll be fine yet?

10) I watched Whitworth walking into the tunnel with his arm around a raider laughing and joking it up. Really Pissed me off.


Why do the Browns and Lions and chiefs scare me now?

Interesting note though. Before the game Al Davis arrived in his Limo and rolled into the stadium with the assistance of a walker. I was 10 feet from him and so were a number of Raider fans. They were really giving Al some shit. "We need a plan AL" Mr. Davis stopped and answered all of them like an ordinary Raider fan. He said "You want my Plan? We've got 7 games left and we're going to try to win every God Damn one of them!"

Many Raider fans don't like Mr. Davis but I was impressed at the access that he gave them. It took him about 25 minutes to get from his limo and roll into the stadium but he stopped and spoke with every fan and answered every question, even the not so nice ones. He acted like he owed these people something.

1. The team doesn't really seem to believe Ochocinco can be a deep threat. When is the last time he ran a Go route?
2. Because the owner thinks any old scrub defensive lineman can be converted to TE... and because the guy they drafted in round 3 apparently needs a red-shirt year.
3. I don't know what they see in Jeremi Johnson. He's overweight and he's not very good.
4. The snap was low, the hold wasn't good, and the franchise kicker isn't clutch.
5. Bratkowski still stinks. Film at 11.
6. Exactly like Tampa Bay in 2006 or just about every other one of the dozens of times the Bengals made some scrub QB a winner.
7. They did try a few blitzes though, which were picked up easily. The no-name front 7 is finally catching up to them.
8. The seagulls crap on PEOPLE in the upper decks. That stadium is horrible.
9. Marvin helped lose the game with conservatism. This is a recording.
10. Whitworth is a nice guy, that's just his thing. He was probably getting Seymour's autograph.

The Browns are scary because they'll be up for the game and they have a young QB that the Bengals can make look good. Plus Cribbs can take a few punts to the house. The Lions are scary for similar reasons, except substitute Johnson catching bombs for Cribbs returning punts.

Thank God for my WDR brothers. Everything you pointed out, I've been bitching about since yesterday. Forget about the 4 turnovers, especially since 2 came in the last 35 seconds, and the Raiders didn't score off of Palmer's fumble.

43 runs to 22 passes. That's why they lost. Sick.

And, if you take away Scott's 61 yard run (which was nice), they rushed 42 times for 115 or something. That's less than 3.0 a carry. The only time you should run the ball 40+ times is if you're up by 21 or more!

Thank you Bob B. and Marvin for being pussies. They played to NOT lose, and so they lost. Pats, Colts, Chargers, would have been up 28-0 at halftime.

I think Beyonch-ce Knolls would say that

'If we liked it then we shoulda put a ring on it, back in '81 or '88 '

She just seems like a 49'ers fan

I can't believe we got beat twice for the Lombardi (which is silver, btw) by some gold-diggers

@TJanns: At the game (deck #3 where the birds go to shit on the fans), I said to my neighbor, "They shouldn't keep running the ball since they're getting no yards on a lot of the plays. The Raiders are stacked up against it. Brian Leonard is averaging 3 yards per carry, and Scott is getting stuffed at least 8 times. They're basically trying to run out the clock with a 7 point lead, when any little accident can result in a tie game and an overtime loss." The only thing I was wrong about was the overtime part.

Definitely they played like pussies yesterday. All the way around, too. The offensive and defensive lines were atrocious. Carson actually didn't have much time to throw, they needed to adjust to the heavy rush with some quick slants and screens, etc. They ran one quick slant to Ocho that went for 12 yards. I guess Bratkowski figures that's a trick play that can only be used once per game. Although he tried the stupid end around play twice.

The other thing that I think is playing like pussies is to continue to sit the high draft picks. Like JP Foschi is the long term answer at tight end? The dude wasn't even that good at BLOCKING yesterday. He's a scrub. If you want max protect, bring Andre Smith in as the extra lineman. And put Coffman in the slot and see if the guy can catch, finally. They need a big possession receiver. And play Purify if you're going to bother to activate him. He's got some size. What the hell is wrong with this coaching staff that they think they can go from 4-11-1 to playoff caliber adding Rey Rey, Michael Johnson, and a punter in the draft? They should be BUSTING THEIR ASSES to get Smith and Coffman ready for next week. There's no red-shirting in Professional Football. (If Jerome Simpson cannot play, they should cut him and sign someone who can)

Daddy was so proud of his "little pumpkin" when she beat down Smith on his contract eventhough Smith's agent pulled a fast one on her by not disclosing the broken foot before signing. Mikey however doesn't care because the contract is so performance laden that Smith is probably now paying Mikey. That's better than a Super Bowl victory for Mikey, way better.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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