IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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There are no words for Bob "The Genius" Bratkowski anymore. He is awful at his job and he will likely be rewarded for his continued brilliance by becoming the next head coach. I sincerely hope this doesn't happen but once Mikey Boy finds a good yes man he is loathe to let him go. Christ is he bad. If only there was some way to change him, to make him see the error of his ways...........
Yes A Pimp Named Huggie Bear, choke the suck right out of him. And then take his locker room away.
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
priceless....
Posted by: CJ | November 24, 2009 at 07:32 AM
Ha, haha. That's funny right there. I don't care who you are, that's funny. If you don't think that's funny you can just get the hell outta here.
I do have one question, "Why is Andre Caldwell returning kickoffs?"
Posted by: Carter Burger | November 24, 2009 at 08:25 AM
Caldwell was returning kicks b/c Scott was cramping up after rushing for over 100 yards. Why did Scott have to start at RB? Benson was hurt. Why didn't the Bengals run LJ instead of Leonard more? I don't know.
I would love for Mikey boy to fire Brat, then Notre Dame to fire Weis, Notre Dame to hire Brian Kelly, just to shut up the U.C. fans who think they can be a top college job with a stadium that seats less than 40k, then the Bengals hire Weis to run the offense that made Tom Brady Tom Brady.
Sorry about the U.C. thing but I gotta take a shot or two to keep things spicy in the comments.
Posted by: JoseOle | November 24, 2009 at 09:21 AM
I would love for Mikey Brown to fire Brat and the BENGALS to hire Brian Kelly. Screw Weis.
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 24, 2009 at 10:55 AM
I would like for Brian Kelly to poop in his had and throw it at you ALA ninja monkey style
Posted by: Rk | November 24, 2009 at 01:09 PM
Considering the offense was one of, if not the worst in the league last year and Brat wasn't fired...
I doubt he gets fired. It's amazing how boring and predictable the Bengals offensive play calling is. Where are the quick slants, screens, go routes, and other things you see the Pats, Colts, Chargers, Steelers and so many other teams run?? Especially when teams are blitzing like on Sunday
Posted by: TJanns | November 24, 2009 at 01:41 PM
Brat's playbook is a napkin from Denny's. Those plays don't fit on the napkin.
Posted by: FeedMikeBrownToAquaBengal | November 24, 2009 at 02:54 PM
Hands down the worst play calling I have seen sine the 13-13 tie with Philly last year. That asshole has some of the best offensive weapons in the NFL at his disposal and he still can't win a game that we should have easily walked away with by halftime. I can only thank ol' Bob for ruining my week as I live in Merced Ca only 2 hours from the Oakland colesium and 2 seconds from every Raiders fan in the state. Now every home I pass has 2 flags out front, the mexican and the Raiders. Thanks alot Brat now even if we do reach the bowl I will always have to hear from these illegals about how they beat us. You over in Ohio may think the Stoolers fans are bad, but I promise you no one is gonna get stabbed by one for talkin a little shit. I mean come on "F@*k the rest" is what these tools wear proudly on their shirts and cars. I hate the friggin Raiders. Burn in Hell Bratkowski.
Posted by: WILLTALLICA | November 24, 2009 at 08:33 PM
don't worry the excuses of it was a bad play in the end and Ced Benson was injured!
Posted by: Drown Mike Brown | November 24, 2009 at 09:17 PM
i was at the game sunday and i can tell you one safety over the top the entire game! but brats only chances deep are to laverenus, nice catch, and the aqua tiger on a wheel route covered tight. where is the triple verticals make the safety choose and pay! i hate you short bus bob! you ruined my perfect sunday 50yd line 11 row i hate you!
Posted by: johnnyhollywood | November 24, 2009 at 10:56 PM