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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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November 20, 2009

Chad Luvs Him Sum Kate Gosselin

Because we are one of the biggest, most influential, and widely read blogs in the world, we often get people emailing us asking us to promote their stuff.  They never come right out and say it, but what they want is for us to link to them.

Most of the time it's trash, but this made me laugh.  Here is the email we received:

Hey there,

You guys seem like you'd be inclined to pimp Chad Ocho Cinco (ed. note:  not really, but whatever).  I work for a little comedy show titled below (Versus Sports Soup) and I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind giving a shout out to and/or embedding YouTube videos of Chad's weekly exclusive segment on our show on your site.  You get ample traffic already and everyone loves Chad so I thought it could be a cool bit of synergy.  Just spitballing here.  Keep up the good work.

Best,

Jason

So modest, this Jason.  Anyways, I liked the clip, so I've embedded it here for you to enjoy or watch or hate or whatever on this Friday.  If you get Versus, feel free to check out the show, or not.  If you don't, that's fine too.


Posted by on November 20, 2009 at 05:06 PM in Chad Johnson |

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Can't wait for the new TV show:

"John Vs. Kate Plus Ocho"


Kate Gosselin reminds me of Catherine O'Hara, the actress who played Kevin's Mom in the movie "Home Alone"...KEVIN!!!!!

Plus KG had that bizarre (although really, what qualifies for 'bizarre' nowadays?) hairdo, the one with the multiple personalities...let's call it...

THE MEDUSA >:)

then again it's not like it was dreadlocks, or even actually snakes

YES IT WAS, AND WORSE

Maybe we'll just call it The Hydra

Go for it, OCHadO JohnsCINCOn...Please

Posted by: Hofbraunow | November 20, 2009 at 10:22 PM

I might have chuckled, but the omnipresent laugh track was doing it for me.

Posted by: Mockenrue | November 21, 2009 at 02:06 AM

I thought it was freaking hilarious. But Kate is garbage, Tina Fey is smokin, not sure what Chad sees. Shannon Sharpe is a douche, he was a big mouth when he played and now he acts like he's a god damn NFL puppet, get a life horse mouth.

Posted by: CurseofBoJackson | November 21, 2009 at 02:27 PM

ni you meiyou tebei xihuan de jieri, ni xianzai zai ganma, gai shenme dongxi? hen nan ma?

Posted by: Cheap Louis Vuitton | November 24, 2010 at 09:55 PM

After only a few weeks, I've found a number of things wrong with the Palm Pre I posted about back in September. I know, I know, I switch phones a lot and have been pretty impatient the last few years with these sorts of things, but I really made a bad choice with the Pre. Initially I was OK with how cheap the phone appeared to be because of all of the webOS features, and the speed that I got from Sprint's network over AT&T. But that waned quickly with the other things that started cropping up. Sure, the Sprint network was better than AT&T, but it still sucked at home much of the time, and at work as well.

Posted by: True Religion Jeans Outlet | August 16, 2011 at 02:44 AM

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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