Like Brat with his Ulysses Grant* like stubbornness on being a running team, I'm going to establish what we know so far this year. Below are bullet points. I've been saying it for a while now, if newspapers just went to the all bullet point format, they wouldn't be in so much trouble.
- The Defense has played fantastic so far. Outside of one hilariously soul crushing fluke play against Denver, The D has gotten its wreck on. Mike Zimmer is like the Blue Dude in Watchmen smart compared to Chuck Breshnahan.
- Antwan Odom - 8 sacks in 4 games. I don't care that 3 or 4 of them came against a backup tackle in the GB game. If you extrapolate his numbers out over 16 games, he gets like 60 something sacks. That is a lot of F'ing sacks people.
- Tom Nelson - I haven't seen him do much besides continue to be white and fast on special teams. But whatever, the man oozes PHYSICALITY!
- Brian Leonard. Opposing D Coordinators are so troubled by his grit that they are gearing their whole scheme around taking away the shovel pass and rb flats routes. John Gruden was wrong about Delhomme leading the league in grit, 40 for the Bengals has that statistical achievement wrapped up. And besides, how do you even measure infinity grit?
- Bengals record this year: 3-1. Last year: 0-4
- Shayne Graham and Brad St. Louis are not good at their jobs.
- Carson hasn't shown that he can throw the deep ball. That one to Chris Henry last week, wow. I'm not a doctor(Neither are our trainers, unless you respect mongolian medical degrees), so I can't say with authority if the science I'm about to drop on you is actually true. If you tear something in your elbow and you don't surgically repair it, won't it end up not completely healing? Stay with me here. If you tear your knee up, which is another joint, and you just stay off it and pray every night, it'll heal itself? Right?
- Cedric Benson is a good short yardage runner, but to me is regrettably slow getting to the edge. That sentence was paid for by The Coalition To Get Benny Scott More Carries in 2009.
- The line is not consistently giving Palmer time to survey the field. I don't like watching Palmer have to dance around in the pocket.
- I feel like I'm forgetting someone, oh yeah, Bob Bratkowski. The man defies logic. Receivers are getting open, who cares? Let's make them stop our vaunted running attack. Goddamnit. The cunning baked potato would have hung 30 on Cleveland.
- Since we are 3-1 you can't be that mad at Marvin Lewis. But the report that he was content with a tie against Cleveland and the players had to talk him into going for it is cause for worry.
- Mike Brown. Katie Blackburn.
*Grant also became Head Man. This really isn't the best comparison considering Grant's strategies often worked**.
**Those strategies were very very grim from a death perspective.