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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Brian Leonard and Aqua Bengal Scoff In Your General Direction, Texans. | Main | Some Random Thoughts »

October 19, 2009

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Mmm, and Hob serves up his own:

"'Obviously we couldn’t run the ball well enough to keep them off the field. That was a big thing,' said center Kyle Cook after his pitched battle with Texans middle linebacker Demerol Ryan’s."

Demerol Ryan's? Why the apostrophe? Demerol sounds like, I don't know, a prescription medication to help you relieve your symptoms of awful writing.

What's most hilarious is I'm convinced Hob reads WDR, will see this exact comment, sigh heavily, and go fix his glaring journalistic error. Just like always. Forget changing the front office - if we can just get a quality writer working as the Bengals spin patsy, that's a solid start.

Well the Loss sucks but I don't think it's changed my opinion that the bengals are atleast a wild card team...Texans are truly a underrated team they've been stocking their defense with 1st round picks for what 4-5 years now? & they have Great QB,WR & TE that makes their offensive Scary...

I wish we could of won this but I'm more worried about the injury bug we we're okay on injury's first 3 weeks but not having Leonard & Roy hurt today and losing Peko & Odom ? gut wrenching...If Mike Brown truly wants to win he needs get on the phone with Greenbay and see what they want for Kampman.

Charlie, just got for it man.

I think I'm going to quit watching the Bengals and take up a new hobby... maybe magnets?

I really don't think the Bengals are a playoff team. Maybe they'll get to 8 wins, the perfect Marvin Lewis / Mike Brown record. Not too hold, not too hot, just like the porridge. Although at this point I am actually betting on 7-9 (which is admittedly 2 games better than I thought they'd be a couple months ago)

For your numbers scoreboard you should also put up: Last year the Bengals drafted a Pro Bowl player: 2003
Number of Pro Bowl players drafted by Marvin Lewis in 7 drafts: 2* (* = did it for the Browns)

+1000 for the Always Sunny reference.

p.s. It's time to get some good project Mayhem projects going for the next two home games. Why wait for the Holiday post-playoff-elimination rush?

Mockenrue: Bengals' spin patsy, I believe.

Marvin Lewis doesn't draft players. The thin-staffed front office does. That's why he can say stuff like "the only way Jerome Simpson sees the field on game day is if the NFL expands rosters to 75 men". Not his fault.

This is what WDR is all about, no?

@P Simonov: Yes I agree it's 99.0% the fault of Mikey Effing Brown. But the 1.0% to Lewis is for not being able to contribute to scouting players, which Bengals coaches are asked to do. Plus you do have to factor in some ability to coach the player once they arrive in the NFL. Maybe under Bill Walsh a kid like Jerome Simpson would still be effective.

The prior administration did at least spot Chad Johnson, TJ Housh, Rudi Johnson. Adding Levi Jones and Willie Anderson from prior drafts. Those are the talented players that Lewis inherited that made 2005 possible (plus Carson Palmer, who was a gift of the previous year being so abysmal).

So Lewis doesn't get completely off the hook.


Most of the problem is draft day, and lack of quality free agents. Probably the favorite example everyone knows is the Bengals doing nothing to get Revis and settling for Leon Hall. One is all pro, the other is also ran. A good GM doesn't let that happen just like a good GM doesn't let this team go without a professional tight end for 2009.

This team has very little talent. If you take away Carson Palmer and Ocho, they're a 3-13 squad or maybe 4-12. Lewis wasn't kidding when he said that they had no talent! That's what WDR is all about.

The way I predict Bengals records is start with 4-12 for the talent base, add one or two wins for keeping Carson Palmer upright and healthy in games against marginal teams, and maybe add one or two more wins if Carson Palmer pulls off some last minute heroics. So the ceiling is probably 8-8. Palmer is this generations Archie Manning.

You know, ApostrophesAreForSuckas, I even thought as I was typing it "Some jackass is going to read this and attempt to discredit it on the basis that I didn't put an apostrophe at the end of 'Bengals.' Oh well."

Now why would I think that and yet still not put the apostrophe there...? Oh, probably because it doesn't need one. You see, I was not calling Hob the spin patsy that is possessed by the Bengals, which is what your comment would assume. I was instead calling him the "Bengals spin patsy" as a singular term; a three word noun that rather adequately serves as his job description. This works in exactly the same way you might say Dhani Jones is "a Bengals linebacker."

Sure, I could have saved some time by doing it the way you prescribed. But instead I got to expose a commenter being petty and missing the point. I'd chalk it up as a win. If you want to gripe about grammar, there are any number of more suitable targets than myself. But it'd be far more productive for you to gripe about something like Mike Brown instead. Just a suggestion.

Man, panties in a bunch today eh? D was flat all day, Brat abandoned the run in the second quarter (like he has done with the pass the five previous games) and went with what HADN'T WORKED YET!! AGAIN!! Obviously I'm not alone, but I have absolutely had it with this fucking guy, he's uncreative and a bit predictable. O line was un impressive, and we didn't tackle well either. I DO feel like we'll see a different team for the Bears game, how much Odom and Peko's absences will affect the D's play I don't know, but I expect to see a motivated and passionate team, I didn't recognize the one I saw yesterday.

You guys bitch and moan whether they win or lose. You are everything I hate in fans. No need to banter to the WDR supporters anymore. Your like the guy in class that sits in the corner and likes to hear himself talk, meanwhile everyone is laughing at you realizing that you have no idea that anyone doesn't take you seriously.

Admin...blah blah blah.... we can pick apart everything you say, prove that you are wrong, give you facts on you not making a difference. After that I will attend the game with my fellow Bengal fans and laugh at what I just heard. I never felt the need to post on any type of forum until I came across you guys.

After this you will point out grammatical errors and say how you are the true supporters for what is right and I will continue to laugh and shake my head. You guys are a joke. I like all of you to wear the Che Guevara (Mike Brown) t-shirts. It's very clever as it should capture the audience you want looking for attention.

Man.. I really dislike you guys.

Amen Joebengall 99 amen. Classic Cincinnati fans bitch when they win and bitch when they lose. Look at UC they are ranked #5 in the country and all people in cincy do us complain about the basketball team and OSU.

My error, then.

From reading (with great pleasure, I might add) this website and following it nearly religiously, I thought that the main problem with Hobson was that WDR basically thinks that he is possessed by the Bengals; hence, he is its/their spin doctor. But perhaps I have the wrong impression.

Anyhow. Didn't mean to be a jackass (which is why I wrote "I believe," instead of, "you jackass no grammar-knowing sucka"). Keep up the fine work here. I do appreciate the high level of analysis and manner of presentation of WDR, in all seriousness.

JoeBengall99 - Wow man. Way to be a hypocrite. I mean, I've seen you post a couple times on WDR forums... do you LIKE to piss yourself off? I mean, if you dislike people that support the revolution why come here? Nobody here gives a damn about what you think about anything... and why would we? You sit there and make broad, general statements, lumping everyone on this site into the same category, and then not give specific examples. You just call us crybabies or something. Its a logical fallacy called 'begging the question.' Look it up. Thats you buddy. Find me, and factually argue with any of the tennants in WDR's manifesto... and I'll take that debate. Until then, shut up or put up (something coherant). Oh yeah, nice simile. It was about as creative as Brat's play calling. (a simile is something that likens something to something else, general enough for you? oh yeah, and its not grammatical).

@JoeBengal99: You can prove we are wrong about Mike Brown?


Let's see it. The proof I mean. Show us he's not totally incompetent. We're waiting to hear what you think qualifies as evidence.

Apostrophes, I appreciate the conciliation. I didn't find your tone to be jackassy (and I'm officially coining that word for the purposes of this comment), but rather saw the name you chose to post under as an insult when attached to that particular comment, as I've never seen you on here before. I have no beef with you, and apologize if I went a little overboard in my response.

Like I've said a few times now, we are all Bengals fans (excepting the possible anti-Bengal, anti-WDR, pro-Steeler, pro-STD people who may or may not be responsible for some of the comments as of late). What is there to gain from attacking one another at the throat? If JoeBengal99 had never felt the need to post anywhere before, why did he feel the need now? And why is it that what he felt the need to post was insulting, unproductive, and not open to any sort of reasonable/rational discussion? If people want to disagree with WDR in either its cause, its goals, or its method, I think that is perfectly legitimate. But everyone here deserves a respectful conversation about it, on both sides.

Same team, and all that jazz.

JoeBengal, then why do you post here if you dislike everyone here? Why waste your time? This is a professional team and no team in the NFL will ever be perfect. There are things that people will like about the team and then there will be things that people dislike. If you haven't noticed, I don't know, maybe you have, this team has been horrible going almost on a 3rd decade now and you want people to just sit back and sip their wine and let it roll off their shoulders? This city deserves a freakin winner, PERIOD! The fans have paid up! and MFB has not lived up to his side of the bargain.

I call what people do on here and on other message boards as constructive criticism and rightfully so. You want to dwell on a team who has won 4 stinkin games so far as something we should all praise and bow down too??? You are a delirious Bengals fan and I will bet you are in your 20s and if you are not in your 20s then you are just plain CLUELESS!

LOL. My job is done here. Obviously I did strike a nerve with you.

You guys are adorable.

Seacrest out!!!!


oeBengall99 - Wow man. Way to be a hypocrite. I mean, I've seen you post a couple times on WDR forums... do you LIKE to piss yourself off? I mean, if you dislike people that support the revolution why come here? Nobody here gives a damn about what you think about anything... and why would we? You sit there and make broad, general statements, lumping everyone on this site into the same category, and then not give specific examples. You just call us crybabies or something. Its a logical fallacy called 'begging the question.' Look it up. Thats you buddy. Find me, and factually argue with any of the tennants in WDR's manifesto... and I'll take that debate. Until then, shut up or put up (something coherant). Oh yeah, nice simile. It was about as creative as Brat's play calling. (a simile is something that likens something to something else, general enough for you? oh yeah, and its not grammatical).

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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