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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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October 16, 2009

Pictured: Brian Leonard Posing In Halloween Costume.

Normal_tiger2
In a bit of self admission, all offseason I was negative about Brian Leonard. I called him slow. I called him white. I mostly called him white. But I didn't see the bigger picture. Brian Leonard is an android sent from the future to kill Tim Tebow. 

We can talk about the Bengals DVOA all day long and whatnot, but I'm pretty sure that stat doesn't take into account Leonard's grittiness quotient, which is 1/0 or clutch formula. WHERE ARE THOSE BAROMETERS OF FOOTBALL COMPETENCY SMARTY PANTS COMPUTER ROBOT?

Posted by on October 16, 2009 at 07:07 AM in Brian Leonard |

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I don't know anything about DVOA, DVDA, or anything like that.
All I know is that Brian Leonard has been fun to follow through Hard Knocks and then see him make some amazing plays. That 4th and 10 run still gives me chills.

Rich

Posted by: Rich | October 16, 2009 at 07:56 AM

"Brian Leonard is an android sent from the future to kill Tim Tebow."

Awesome line. Slow golf clap for you sir.

Posted by: KenAnderson'sTurfToe | October 16, 2009 at 08:40 AM

Clap...clap...clap..clap..clap.clap.clap clap clap clapclapclap

Posted by: Rk | October 16, 2009 at 12:01 PM

Fuck Tim Tebow

Posted by: CurseofBoJackson | October 16, 2009 at 02:45 PM

According to Thom Brennaman, you would be a better person if you did. Even if it only lasted 5 minutes.

Posted by: KenAnderson'sTurfToe | October 16, 2009 at 03:12 PM

Had to believe that the the Brat is acutally putting a player in a position to exploit his talents! *gasp*

Posted by: bill-the-pony | October 17, 2009 at 11:37 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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