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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« 12th Man Gives Bengals the Edge in Cleveland | Main | Could the Bengals' Refusal to Replace Brad St. Louis Be Due to Character Issues? »

October 06, 2009

Moving Aubrey O' Day Down The Page Made Me Feel Like A Bad Person

Going into the Cleveland game everyone knew that the Brown's were going to try to neutralize Brian Leonard, and take their chances with the rest of the offense. Well, that plan almost worked, considering the Bengals couldn't muster a first down for two and a half quarters without the White Weapon detonating. It seems like Bratkowski might need to get back into his mad scientist laboratory (the tree house behind Mikey Boy's palacial estate) and devise new and innovative ways to run a shovel pass on 3rd and short, or a run up the middle on 2nd and 10, because I think everyone, especially the Ravens, are going to know it's coming.

Posted by on October 06, 2009 at 02:34 PM in Bob Bratkowski, Brian Leonard |

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Wasn't there another article on this webpage where they injected race into the situation? I don't mean that they were racists, just that that they characterized someone with the adjective relating to their color?

Here's a hint -- how's about calling him: "The Weapon!" Why does he have to be delineated as the: "White Weapon"? Is this board a KKK off-shoot?

What real purpose did this idiotic diversion serve? The second part of this missive was fine. It railed about the idiotic play calling of 'The Brat' -- as should be noted (one thing though, there should have been a comment of running a shovel pass or draw play when it is 3rd and 16 -- as the Bengals are wont to do (Oh I forgot, that is MBB calling down from his box to force that play -- a play that virtually NEVER works -- a play that his ol' man also hammered into his coaches etc.). Point is... that's legitimate critical fare, but talking about a descriptive term that is totally superfluous (look it up)....


I guess, for that matter we can talk about the 'black squirrel' I saw this afternoon over near Glendale! It has about the same purpose and value!

Posted by: WCH | October 06, 2009 at 08:23 PM

WCH, wasn't there another comment on this site where you lambasted the blog authors for any trifle that came to mind? I don't mean that you're an asshat, just that you were making a total fool of yourself.

Here's a hint -- how about posting something: Useful! Why do you have to be contrary just for contrary's sake? Is this board your personal grumble pit?

What real purpose did your angry misguided rambling serve? The second part of your missive was fine.

Posted by: Mockenrue | October 07, 2009 at 03:07 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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