Hob, TE's, FJM-style.
The Bengals want more consistency from their tight ends,
I don't think consistency is the word you're looking for there. The ability to not suck? That works better.
but they aren’t ready to exile Dan Coats or J.P Foschi or activate third-rounder Chase Coffman
I think Marvin's making fun of our fair county, because if Coffman can't get time with these two buffoons ahead of him, then all-Hamilton County must not mean much. Or it means Coffman could absolutely walk on at Elder and start right away.
“They’re our tight ends.” offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski said Monday. “The only other option is to put an offensive lineman at tight end which we’ve done this season. The whole reason we did not have success was not strictly the tight ends.”
Translated: Mike Brown knows we are extremely thin at TE and does nothing about it because he's a cheap jackass. Also, I'm a bad play caller, which doesn't help things.
Clearly the Bengals are still battling the impact of the loss of their top two tight ends in training camp, Reggie Kelly and Ben Utecht. Kelly and Utecht have played a combined 203 NFL games. On Sunday against the Bears, Foschi plays his 25th NFL game and Coats his 22nd as a tight end.
GAHHHH!!! Don't blame injuries from MONTHS ago, Hob. This team could have figured out something more suitable than having two retreads getting all the snaps. Geathers has those swiveling hips Mikey Boy likes, maybe he could play both ways?
The Bengals do have Coffman sitting on the bench as the NCAA’s all-time prolific pass-catching tight end, and it figures he can at least catch it and hold onto it. But he’s never been asked to block until this season, although it’s a bit of a surprise it’s taken this long to get him acclimated to the scheme.
Who would have thought that a TE that played 100% out of the spread in college (That means he never had to block anyone ever) would have a tough time blocking Linemen and LB's in the NFL?
Mikey Boy's thought process - But he has those swiveling hips, and Whitlock swears by him. Whitlock would never steer me wrong, unless of course Jeff George is involved, then things get a little delusional even by my grade A insane standards.
When Coffman does start playing the indication is he won’t replace either Coats or Foschi.
How does he not replace Coats or Foschi? Is he actually being groomed to be our next long snapper?
I have a novel idea, why don't the Bengals just put Brian Leonard out there and let him play RB and TE at the same time. His gritty complexion will trump the laws of physics and maybe tear a whole in the fabric of our universe, but I'll be darned if he doesn't just flat out get the job done.
The Bengals tight ends have been amazingly consistent. They sucked in preseason and have continued to suck the first 6 weeks on the regular season. I'm going to go out on a limb and say they will suck this Sunday as well.
Posted by: HappyNat | October 20, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Run Dennis Roland out as a tight end, they already do it anyway when they load the right side up for a run. He's fucking 6'9", throw it high, let's see if he's any worse than Coats or Foschi right? What happened to Shirley? I saw he wasn't dressed last Sunday, he's big, maybe he can catch? Seriously though, I simply don't get not TRYING Coffmann, he can't look that bad blocking that it's not even worth dressing him on Sundays? Really? REALLY? Not buying, let him play on third down and 5+ at least, so what if it is obvious we are throwing, it is anyway. How I'm still stunned at management's stupidity is stunning.
Posted by: CurseofBoJackson | October 20, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Put white lightning(Lenoard) in like the man said and see what happens. What could it hurt another dropped pass? Or maybe it will strech the field a little more giving us the room we need.
Posted by: Rk | October 20, 2009 at 12:34 PM
Sly,
I searched and found that Whitlock article right here:
http://www.kansascity.com/sports/columnists/jason_whitlock/story/1155419.html
And I even linked to it two posts ago here:
http://www.whodeyrevolution.com/whodeyrevolution/2009/10/some-random-thoughts.html
Some friend you are. You know, Brian Leonard invited me over and said to bring a few folks and I think you are no longer on my short list to include.
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | October 20, 2009 at 12:36 PM
I know that they had to re-write the game plan against the Texans last week after losing Reggie Kelly and Ben Utecht. But what Hob really meant to say is that the REAL problem here is that the Bengals are still suffering from losing Odell Thurman.
Posted by: Major Payne | October 20, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Sleeping,
I linked to Whitlock. Please invite me to the White Weapon's house. Stalking him from afar is getting kind of boring. I want to see the aura of his grit up close.
Posted by: Sly Vramavomovich | October 20, 2009 at 01:54 PM
This is exactly the kind of thing that caused the 2 decades of suckiness.
Step one: Bengals have well-known problem, anticipated well before season.
Step two: Mike Brown does jack-shit to solve problem.
Step three: Problem shows up in games that count, team doesn't win.
The trading deadline is today. They've just lost their best pass rusher. They don't have an NFL tight end. Probably either position can be filled with a better man by making a deal. I'd venture to guess they could trade for a better DL today than they will draft, um, EVER, because they suck at drafting defensive linemen.
But will they do anything to help this season have a better chance at winning? No. Other teams have and possibly will make moves. The Jets were looking good and went out and got Braylon Edwards. It might be a dumb move -- too early to tell -- but they were willing to do something to give themselves a better shot at winning now. The Bears got Gaines Adams, we'll see him on Sunday. Again, maybe that won't pan out, but at least they are willing to TRY to solve their problems, unlike Mr Brown.
Shaun Rogers is available. Glenn Dorsey is available. Randy McMichael is available. etc.
Posted by: MikeBrownIsLowerThanScum | October 20, 2009 at 02:28 PM
Last night on MNF, Jon Gruden called Philip Rivers the grittiest man in the NFL.
Somewhere, Brian Leonard was steaming. I can't wait for the Bengals/Chargers grit-off.
Posted by: Mockenrue | October 20, 2009 at 02:54 PM
Orien Harris was just signed so our TE problems are solved...relax guys
- Mike F. Brown
Posted by: TigerJ@w | October 20, 2009 at 07:10 PM
There once was a really athletic lineman that played for Cincinnati Country Day High School... i think he graduated circa 2000, perhaps 1999. He was about 6'1" 220 lbs of curry-diesel...
Ajit Singh? This guy has to be around to step in and fill the TE void.
A little smallish in terms of frame, but he could more than make up for that with his fine-tuned hunting skills honed in the Thar Desert in India... he's an ace with a slingshot, and/or taco...
Posted by: Brian McPhie | October 20, 2009 at 07:11 PM
I hate you, Sly. You remind me of a chronic "Jim Rome Show" caller/"clone"/all-around meatball. That being said, I agree wig you about Coats completely. I have said since the Bengals re-signed him in free agency that he is arguably the worst player at the NFL level that I have ever seen. This stemmed back to his failure as a FB and multiple easy TD drops from last and into this season. That being said, they wouldn't be in this predicament had they not lost Kelly and Utecht or if they went after Leonard Pope or Bubba Franks. They are also now scared that Coffman isn't ready to play. This is something that always irritated me about the Bengals--they are reluctant to play a guy with potential behind a guy who is terrible. I mean, how bad could the drop off actually be? Coats isn't that great of a blocker, otherwise they wouldn't have to have Roland in there as often as he has been in as an extra blocker. Coats is an absolute joke and they need solid tight ends because the opposing defenses' focus will be on our tOe Ted WRs.
Posted by: TheCarlPickensClause | October 20, 2009 at 10:29 PM
@TheCarlPickensClause: Come on you gotta admit Brad St Louis was giving Coats a run for his money with the shotguns snaps (shotgun since they landed all over like pellets)
Posted by: IHateMikeBrown | October 21, 2009 at 12:03 AM
I'm onto you "Brian McPhie".
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | October 21, 2009 at 12:20 AM
Coats and Foschi should be living on the island of misfit toys. In that spirit here are alternate lyrics to "We're a Couple of Misfits."
We're a couple of tight ends
Both of us have got bad hands
Just because we drop footballs
Why dont we fit in?
We can run pretty good routes
Button hooks and some quick outs
Carson throw us the pigskin
Why dont we fit in?
If we catch it we're sur-prised
Thats when we get these big eyes
They should let us call slip-sies
Why dont we fit in?
Sometimes the ball hits our face masks
Its not so easy to think fast
Scary to see all those D-Backs
Why dont we fit in?
We're a couple of re-tards
We get paid to gain big yards
But our hands are both FUBAR'd
Why dont we fit in?
Next up, a XMAS carol for MikeyBoy, "The Grinch who stole football."
Posted by: ItmightbeJB | October 22, 2009 at 11:01 AM
i wanna hang out with aqua bengal
Posted by: braddeygoddamit | October 23, 2009 at 04:50 AM