Become a Fan

Support the Revolution!


Connect with WDR

WDR Shirts


Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

Inaugural Post

Email Us

« Buffalo Somewhat Boldly Goes Where WDR Has Gone Before | Main | Thoughts on Weeks 1-6 »

October 20, 2009

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00e550080ede88330120a6017331970b

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Aqua Bengal Has Better Hands Than Coats Without Opposable Thumbs.:

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

The Bengals tight ends have been amazingly consistent. They sucked in preseason and have continued to suck the first 6 weeks on the regular season. I'm going to go out on a limb and say they will suck this Sunday as well.

Run Dennis Roland out as a tight end, they already do it anyway when they load the right side up for a run. He's fucking 6'9", throw it high, let's see if he's any worse than Coats or Foschi right? What happened to Shirley? I saw he wasn't dressed last Sunday, he's big, maybe he can catch? Seriously though, I simply don't get not TRYING Coffmann, he can't look that bad blocking that it's not even worth dressing him on Sundays? Really? REALLY? Not buying, let him play on third down and 5+ at least, so what if it is obvious we are throwing, it is anyway. How I'm still stunned at management's stupidity is stunning.

Put white lightning(Lenoard) in like the man said and see what happens. What could it hurt another dropped pass? Or maybe it will strech the field a little more giving us the room we need.

Sly,

I searched and found that Whitlock article right here:

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/columnists/jason_whitlock/story/1155419.html

And I even linked to it two posts ago here:

http://www.whodeyrevolution.com/whodeyrevolution/2009/10/some-random-thoughts.html

Some friend you are. You know, Brian Leonard invited me over and said to bring a few folks and I think you are no longer on my short list to include.

I know that they had to re-write the game plan against the Texans last week after losing Reggie Kelly and Ben Utecht. But what Hob really meant to say is that the REAL problem here is that the Bengals are still suffering from losing Odell Thurman.

Sleeping,
I linked to Whitlock. Please invite me to the White Weapon's house. Stalking him from afar is getting kind of boring. I want to see the aura of his grit up close.

This is exactly the kind of thing that caused the 2 decades of suckiness.

Step one: Bengals have well-known problem, anticipated well before season.
Step two: Mike Brown does jack-shit to solve problem.
Step three: Problem shows up in games that count, team doesn't win.

The trading deadline is today. They've just lost their best pass rusher. They don't have an NFL tight end. Probably either position can be filled with a better man by making a deal. I'd venture to guess they could trade for a better DL today than they will draft, um, EVER, because they suck at drafting defensive linemen.

But will they do anything to help this season have a better chance at winning? No. Other teams have and possibly will make moves. The Jets were looking good and went out and got Braylon Edwards. It might be a dumb move -- too early to tell -- but they were willing to do something to give themselves a better shot at winning now. The Bears got Gaines Adams, we'll see him on Sunday. Again, maybe that won't pan out, but at least they are willing to TRY to solve their problems, unlike Mr Brown.

Shaun Rogers is available. Glenn Dorsey is available. Randy McMichael is available. etc.

Last night on MNF, Jon Gruden called Philip Rivers the grittiest man in the NFL.

Somewhere, Brian Leonard was steaming. I can't wait for the Bengals/Chargers grit-off.

Orien Harris was just signed so our TE problems are solved...relax guys

- Mike F. Brown

There once was a really athletic lineman that played for Cincinnati Country Day High School... i think he graduated circa 2000, perhaps 1999. He was about 6'1" 220 lbs of curry-diesel...

Ajit Singh? This guy has to be around to step in and fill the TE void.

A little smallish in terms of frame, but he could more than make up for that with his fine-tuned hunting skills honed in the Thar Desert in India... he's an ace with a slingshot, and/or taco...

I hate you, Sly. You remind me of a chronic "Jim Rome Show" caller/"clone"/all-around meatball. That being said, I agree wig you about Coats completely. I have said since the Bengals re-signed him in free agency that he is arguably the worst player at the NFL level that I have ever seen. This stemmed back to his failure as a FB and multiple easy TD drops from last and into this season. That being said, they wouldn't be in this predicament had they not lost Kelly and Utecht or if they went after Leonard Pope or Bubba Franks. They are also now scared that Coffman isn't ready to play. This is something that always irritated me about the Bengals--they are reluctant to play a guy with potential behind a guy who is terrible. I mean, how bad could the drop off actually be? Coats isn't that great of a blocker, otherwise they wouldn't have to have Roland in there as often as he has been in as an extra blocker. Coats is an absolute joke and they need solid tight ends because the opposing defenses' focus will be on our tOe Ted WRs.

@TheCarlPickensClause: Come on you gotta admit Brad St Louis was giving Coats a run for his money with the shotguns snaps (shotgun since they landed all over like pellets)

I'm onto you "Brian McPhie".

Coats and Foschi should be living on the island of misfit toys. In that spirit here are alternate lyrics to "We're a Couple of Misfits."

We're a couple of tight ends
Both of us have got bad hands
Just because we drop footballs
Why dont we fit in?

We can run pretty good routes
Button hooks and some quick outs
Carson throw us the pigskin
Why dont we fit in?

If we catch it we're sur-prised
Thats when we get these big eyes
They should let us call slip-sies
Why dont we fit in?

Sometimes the ball hits our face masks
Its not so easy to think fast
Scary to see all those D-Backs
Why dont we fit in?

We're a couple of re-tards
We get paid to gain big yards
But our hands are both FUBAR'd
Why dont we fit in?

Next up, a XMAS carol for MikeyBoy, "The Grinch who stole football."

i wanna hang out with aqua bengal

The comments to this entry are closed.

MikeyBoy Brown Twitter Updates

    follow me on Twitter

    BetUs.com

    • Bet on USA's Favorite Pastime – Football Betting  at BetUS

    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Categories

    Categories

    March 2013

    Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
              1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31            
    Blog powered by Typepad