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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Don't Worry Keels, The World Needs Ditch Diggers Too. | Main | Steelers Fans Secure Sellout for Bengals-Steelers at PBS »

September 01, 2009


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Indeed it does,Thank you Mike Brown!

Here's my vent:
It was never about anything but fucking over Smith, Keels and the whole slotting system.
Brown wins. Bengals fan lose. Again.

I understand the argument that if we got Smith into camp earlier this might never have happened, BUT...he's a HUGE B**** and the feet have lots of tiny bones.

Even with Mikey at the helm we can still suffer from old-fashioned bad luck, not just the self-inflicted misery from the top.


But yes, Rich, the hold out was Bad Times Iraq (the widely recognized opposite of Good Times USA).

yes... broken foot sucks... but today i went to buy a WDR t shirt.. why so pricey... at times we should all have some Mike Brown finacial reasoning.


Cue the "We just had bad luck/too many injuries" excuse for our 3-13 2009 season. It's like a goddamn script at this point.

We sell our tees via Zazzle, right? (tight ship we run around here)

They charge a lot cause they produce them one at a time (with each order) rather than in bulk. And, because, well, they just do I guess.

We don't have time to being constantly ordering stock and shipping it out to folks and Zazzle does all that for us (and takes most of the purchase price too) so it's convenient.

Anyone with better ideas feel free to add. I suggest when ordering you upgrade to the American Apparel 50/50 style tee. It's important to be comfortable while lobbing hate bombs towards ownership.

He's only out 7-10 days. Read PFT.

Updated above...a stress fracture is a partial break (I believe), so if he comes back unhealed it'll just break again.

We'll see how fast he gets better. Hopefully, like Carson, he is an "astoundingly fast healer."

He'll be fine. It sounds as if they were going to use the two week roster exemption on him anyway. Because of his holdout, he probably wasn't going to see the field until week 5 or 6 and this injury just solidifies that.

Are top notch medical staff should have him back on the field in 18 to 24 months.Not bad.

at least the performance bonus' probabley just left the building!!

Bullshit. He will NOT be back in 7-10 days. This is the same injury that happened to Jonathan Joseph two years ago (first day of training camp). He was out 4 weeks, came back and was shitty the whole year. He said he never felt healthy. And keep in mind that J-Jo is 193 lbs. Andre Smith is twice his size, and lineman ALWAYS take longer to heal leg/foot injuries because of the weight they have to bear.

My prediction: they put him on PUP and then eventually shift him to IR. Done for the season.

I blame Mike Brown for this. And I won't be convinced otherwise no matter how illogical that is. He is literally the physical manifestation of bad luck.

Bengals First Round Picks Last 20 years

So is it a curse or is it Mike Brown..... he took over for his father in 1991 so 1992 on is all Mikey Brown.....

2009 Andre Smith..... fatty holdout who fractures foot in 2nd practise
2008 Keith Rivers.... we will see this year
2007 Leon Hall.....
2006 Johnathan Joseph.... how many games has he played....
2005 David Pollack... I was at that game against Cleveland and still sick to my stomach
2004 Chris Perry.... fuck this guy....
2003 Carson Palmer.... in 4 years of playing how many games has he missed
2002 Levi Jones.... FUCK THIS GUY!!!!
2001 Justin Smith... he practises very hard.....couldn't get around a grandmother.....
2000 Peter Warrick..... is he even playing in the league....
1999 Akili Smith.... Worst Pick #2 ever
1998 Takeo Spikes.... he went to Buffalo where NFL players go to retire....
1997 Reinard Wilson DE Florida State..... WHO? Never draft a player from FSU....
1996 Willie Anderson... I still miss him and hate what the Bengals did to him
1994 Dan Wilkonson..... I spelled his name wrong on purpose....
1993 John Copeland.... ALABAMA!!!!
1992 David Klingler.... I fear this man can't walk anymore from all the sacks.
1991 Alfred Williams....Should I say WHO AGAIN!!!!
1990 James Francis.... Miss this guy too!!!
1989 No Pick......
Posted by Steve Greer at 9:26 PM 0 comments

Ever since he signed yesterday, all anyone can say is that due to the delay, he probably won't be able to contribute this season, or contribute very much this season. He's 30 days behind everyone else on the team, and now he's going to be AT LEAST 40 days behind. Realistically, if we were told not to expect much due to his late signing, now we have to expect WAY less due to injury. It's a bust. Moving on.

Any chance this fat bastard fractured his foot a few weeks back doing those sweet shuffle drills we all saw on hard knocks? For all we know he told Keels to go ahead on that joke of a contract cause he needed health insurance.

He must have dropped the box of Oreos on his foot during a midnight snack run.

Oh yeah - F*ck you Mike Brown, you Evil S*O*B!

wow, it only took 2 days for the beginning of the end of Hippopottasmiths career to start....

God hates the bengals.

Hey Steve Greer,

How was Ki-Jana Carter the worst pick in the history of football?

I mean I can see you really put some heavy thought on your analysis of the draft picks by stating "Fuck this guy" several times.

Levi Jones was a decent lineman for the Bengals at one time.

Seriously. WhoDeyFans, didn't you know that Steve Greer is the end-all, be-all on NFL draft and player analysis? Give me a break. Yes, bad choices in the past. Still not convinced this was a bad choice, yet. This isn't the same injury as Johnathan Joseph,as one person mentioned, because Joseph was already deemed to be out a month right away and he needed surgery. Though I do agree that it is a tougher injury on a big guy because of the weight pressure on the foot. Andre's fracture doesn't require it. Yes, it's unfortunate and will continue to hinder his progress, but until he's still sidelined in week 4 or 5 then I'll be really concerned. You have to think that they were going to use that roster exemption on him through the first two weeks anyway, so he wouldn't be playing til week 3 at the earliest. Stop throwing up your hands and waving the white flag when nature twists your arms. Jesus.

I heard Mike Brown snuck up behind Andre and smashed his foot with a hammer so that he would have no chance of reaching those performance incentives.

I'll definitely have to second the previous comments regarding Steve Greer's excellent analysis.

Tony Mandarich was a bigger draft bust, and a worse pick. Pay attention. When Carter was drafted, he was a can't miss prospect. It was a great pick until he got hurt. Everyone but Green Bay knew that Mandarich was on the sauce.

And you're right about that Florida State comment.
Anquan Boldin, Walter Jones, Samari Rolle, Kamerion Wimbley, Tra Thomas, Darnell Dockett, Antonio Cromartie and Leon Washington all suck. Whatever dude.

And you seriously have nothing good to say about Takeo Spikes? Guy was a warrior for us.

Go post somewhere else, you douche.

Lets take another look at the list. Here are my thoughts on each draft for what it is worth.

So is it a curse or is it Mike Brown..... he took over for his father in 1991 so 1992 on is all Mikey Brown.....

2009 Andre Smith..... fatty holdout who fractures foot in 2nd practise (heading towards bust)
2008 Keith Rivers.... we will see this year
2007 Leon Hall.....A servicable corner on a good defense, not a #1 pick..more like a 4 or 5 rounder
2006 Johnathan Joseph.... See above. .
2005 David Pollack... Even when healthly, was not outstanding, but was too early to tell
2004 Chris Perry.... Flat out bust. Why you waste a #1 on a utility back is beyond me.
2003 Carson Palmer.... A good pick. On most compentent teams, he would be a star.
2002 Levi Jones.... above average, Not first round material.
2001 Justin Smith... average at best, really a 3rd down rusher, again at best a middle round pick.
2000 Peter Warrick..... not worthy of pick.
1999 Akili Smith.... Worst Pick ever or tie with Ryan Leaf
1998 Takeo Spikes.... good player on very bad teams. he went to Buffalo where NFL players go to retire....
1997 Reinard Wilson DE Florida State..... Wasted pick. Never was a factor.
1996 Willie Anderson... I still miss him and hate what the Bengals did to him. agreed.
1995 Ki-Jana Carter.... Not the worst, but right up there. Considering we traded up to get him, it is very bad.
1994 Dan Wilkonson..... I spelled his name wrong on purpose....Lazy...see Andre Smith.
1993 John Copeland.... wasted pick. never amounted to anything.
1992 David Klingler.... I fear this man can't walk anymore from all the sacks.
1991 Alfred Williams....Should I say WHO AGAIN!!!! Yeap..
1990 James Francis.... See years 2000,2001,2006, & 2007 (does that make him a theme?)
1989 No Pick......

That is how I see them.

Theme-Creator's analysis is right on, except for Levi Jones. He was a legit first rounder, just maybe not #10 pick. At his prime he shut down the best rushers. A bit of a stretch but nothing compared to others. They got about five really good to great years out of him, which is below what you'd hope for from a #10 pick if you're a team that cares about winning a Super Bowl (which Mike Brown does not)

Klingdork was a bigger bust than KiJana Carter simply because he was an overrated college QB dropped onto a team that anyone with half a brain knew was going to have trouble protecting him.

Other than Carson Palmer the Bengals drafts have been CRAPTACULAR for 20+ years!

p.s. F*ck You Mike Brown, you greedy old b*astard!


The commenting on this thread has become ridiculous. You guys aren't that stupid right?

Yes, many draft picks have been bad. It is also really easy to rate a draft pick 10 years after the pick. Man, if only Mike had looked in his crystal ball to see into the future.


Mike Browns job is to draft the best players he can to get the best team he can. That is his job. Us ranking his picks is a way to score how good or bad he is doing. I will conceed that every team has thier share of draft mistakes. However, Mike has far more then average and the reason for that is the Bengals are not equiped with what you must have to make better decisions. There is a crystal ball he can look into (scouting, Player personnel proffesionals, GM with expierence, etc) he just choses not to.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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