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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 10, 2009

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Why didn't you include my 17-2 prediction?

5-11. Just too much uncertainty about the O-line.
They should, at the very least, split with Cleveland, but I just have a feeling Cleveland will be much better this year (at least when they are playing the Bengals), which would mean 0-2 against them. And if they split with Cleveland, they'll most likely lose a game they should win, such as KC, Oakland, or (sadly) Detroit.

I think we win 50% of the games Carson plays and I don't see any way he plays more than 10 games. If it comes down to Ced and JT to lead the offense we aren't winning many games. So I'll say 5-11.

Wow, I see 8 or 9 wins easy if the O-line is any good at all. So Carson gets a twisted ankle and it's gloom and doom? I predict 13-16 games for Palmer, and although I believe I think I know I read somewhere that JT was the worst statistical QB i the league last year, I can't help but be encouraged by his play in the pre season, and so disagree with that statement too, we CAN win with JT if necessary, it will just depend on the timing if it happens.

Too much uncertainty on the O-Line - teams with lines that play together A LOT win, teams that don't, don't. Vince Lombardi said: "Linemen win football games." Unless there is a miracle we finish 5-11 to 7-9, at best.

Carson will for sure get hurt with this porous OL. They will struggle to win 4 again.

Well, I just drank a 40 of King Cobra, and I'm gonna make my bold prediction.

I think that if CP9 starts all 16 games, we're a 9-7 team at best, which in the AFC North, is not good enough.

But given the fact that our O-line has no continuity whatsoever, I put the over/under on games that CP9 plays in this year at 6. I say we win half of them.

In this more likely scenario, we win 4-6 games all year. Despite that, we will manage to finish top ten in run defense.

I'll be watching the opener against the Donks from the same shitty NOhio bar I always do.

I'm going to go out on a limb and predict a 16-0 season, winning all playoff games, and then winning the Super Bowl. Mike Brown gets heralded as a football genius, and as a result, in an attempt to emulate Mikey, the other NFL ownners all fire their general managers, and hire only family members for the front office.

I gotta quit smokin' this shit.........

9-7 tops, but thats with a "Vertical Palmer"

I know no QB who can throw from their back.....

D'Animal - you win commenter of the year with that name and strong opening...

8-8 or 9-7. Book it. A better run game, improved defense, and weak schedule will make them "competitive" this year. Remember the last time they played the NFC North? Kyle Orton-- 5 INTs. Brett Favre-- 5 INTs. Daunte Culpepper-- 5INTs. Joey Harrington-- 2 INTs. That was with a putrid defense in 2005. This defense is much better. They face Orton again week 1 and Favre later in the year. Culpepper could be in there late in the year as well if Stafford gets hurt and/or is ineffective. The Browns are a mess. In 2004-2006, the Bengals won all 6 games, if I remember correctly. Did anyone watch the Steelers game last night? Their defense was outstanding, but they looked shaky overall at best. I think they split with them. I don't think that the Steelers are going to be that good this year. Ravens should be good IF Flacco doesn't have a sophomore slump. That's my take.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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