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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 24, 2009

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If your going to be this late with it you would be good to drop hippos name atleast once.

You know i support WDR... but this was kinda lame... im sorry...

Good lord, that was awful. Slow news day?

You want news? I will give you some news! I just learned the Bengals are getting ready to drop a bomb of bad news on the good people of hamilton county. Seems the Bengals feel that there is a high likelyhood of the NFL expanding the regular season. If so the regular season will strech well into January. So, Bengals feel at that point they will need an indoor practice facility. Guess, come on, guess who they want to pay for it? Come on, I will give you three guesses and the first two do not count! That's right, Hamilton County....

Theme-Creator,

That's awesome news, actually. This gives the Bengals the indoor practice facility that they've been needing for years now, plus I don't live in Hamilton County. Of course, it's shitty news for you guys.

In all seriousness, hopefully Mikey Boy doesn't have any stooges on the Hamilton County Board this time around, and they actually stand up to him. I want the Bengals to have an indoor practice facility, but not at the expense of education or community programs in the Cincinnati area.

If Mikey boy wants an indoor practice facility, he can build it himself. It'll take a lotta balls to ask for public money right now given the County budget deficits and the team's (and Mikey's) performance. The public backlash would be incredible.

So why wouldn't it surprise me if asks the taxpayer for another state of the art facility? Because he's Mikey boy and that's what he does.

Him asking could go a long way for the cause!

Anything with Mikey Boy going to get a GRAND SLAAAAMMWIICCCHHH is gold in my book.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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