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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 09, 2009

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Ok buddy, gollie geez! This is a new year and all the players are excited to play and we should be too. They have bought in to Marvins plan and this after how many years is his team now, so chill out.

One player said yesterday so many players are new to the organization and thats a good thing cause continuity is overated anyway and there probably is at least a 6 month waiting list to be bengalized.

So, lets go buy some tickets and root for our hometeam to play because they're excited to put on a show each Sunday.


Next stop andrew whitworth dancing with the stars.

kotw65 ? Should have been Twat65 you sound like such bitch.

That article ruled, and was funny as shit. It's a pretty accurate description of how pathetic the Bengals fan base that buys into Mike Browns shit every year is.

Viva La Revolution!

That article sucked, how about some real predictions?
Right on about the twat telling people to buy tickets..... on this site no less, smart guy aren't ya?

your readers are pretty gull-i-bull if they thought the first dude was being serious. makes me wonder if you would know what to do with a twat if it splayed itself out in front of your face.

...i'm picking up your sarcasm...and you're really smart...this is a site where pissers and moaners go to drink their own piss, where we are...there are other sites for people who want real news about the team they root for regardless of the disappointing past, where real bengals fans are...90 mile-z away...the writing in these posts sucks...get yourself a new site.

can you get sick drinking piss?
-i think you can.
even if it's your own?

piss off, douchebags. bengals 9 to 11 wins this year. go drink piss about it.

Big Khahuna - Do you ever get sick after Mike Brown takes his yearly dump on your chest?

Now just who in the HELL would say that the Bengals are: "...all about style and not enough about substance..." My goodness I hope to all that's holy, that this is 'tongue in cheek' (note, if sarcam or tongue in cheek is being used, you want to get to the 'weenie' a lot faster because people will stop reading after a sentence or more -- just remember that).

If this is a real assessment -- well, to the author, go back to assessment school because you need more training.

The Bengals have no style with milque-toast head Mikey Boy Brown. Look at EVERYONE connected with this piss-poor organization -- they have no style at all. In any case, style also doesn't mean JACK! Ever notice the people with 'style' usually are the ones with no substance either?

As to the Bengals having substance -- the assessor was right (but didn't put it in the final form -- that they have NO substance). So now you have an organization without styoe or substance. How does that grab ya voters?

Ha ha Big Kahuna is a douche bag to the fullest. Do you think this is the only site that people who comment on here read? Let's have a "how well do you know your Bengals contest," then, after you've been humilated by a person with some realistic perspective about the long term success potential of this team given how it's run, you can go back to your kool-aid. I love this team more than you my friend, but it's a (piss) poorly run organization, so who's the one drinking the pee pee? You, and it's Mike and Katie Brownburn's.

Sort of off subject but.......

How many beers before you would start considering having sex with Katie? 12, 15?

I hate Sly.

At least 15..... Wow, I just typed that...

I say 4, remember she is rich and owns a football team. That is worth a lot to me.

Broncos : This is a must game for the Bengals. They got more personnel problems than we do, but they also have an owner who will see to it they get fixed. 1-0

The Packers in Greenbay? Enough said: 1-1

Steelers: The only hope is to catch them naping on superbowl hangover. 1-2

Browns: We will split with them. We usually do. 1-3

Ravens: Should be even better this year. 1-4

Texans: Much improved and no issues. They usually play better early in year too. 1-5

Bears: Strong D and offense is much improved. 1-6

Ravens: Bengals loose in Rout. Palmer knocked out for year. 1-7

Steelers: Embarrasing loss. 1-8

Raiders: When was the last time Bengals won on West Coast? They break the streak. 2-8

Browns: Bengals split the series. 3-8

Lions: The will be better this year (can't be worse) The will see this as thier chance at a win. I take Bengals (barely) 4-8

Vikings: They will be putting on push for playoffs. 4-9

Chargers: New West Coast losing streak starts. 4-10

Chiefs: Bengals have packed it in for year. This is a toss-up. 5-10

Jets: Bengals Pull off mircle win: 6-10 Mike Brown points to last two victories as eveidence we are turning the corner and will be competitive next year, again....

The Bronco game is key. If they loose that one at home it might only be a 4 win season.

Hmmm...it'd be easy enough for me to pull predictions out of my butt and say they're going to go 12-4, but until we see what actually happens, isn't this all just a waste of time? Further, even if the Bengals go 15-4 and bring the Lombardi to Cincinnati, does that really change the fact that Mike Brown is a terrible owner and a worse GM?

As for the whole Katie thing, I watched episodes 4 and 5 back-to-back tonight, and I had six beers down by the time I finished the second episode, and she was nowhere near being attractive.

Theme,
Your post is a real kick in the balls, because I can't argue with any of it.
Damn. I just wish they could win so badly!!

I would marry Katie....Then I would be in the family and have some say in how the team is run......Then My input would be for MFB to Shut the Fuck up and Hire a Fucking GM!!! Yes It is tru Comrades I would be willing to have horrible Sex with Katie for the rest of my life so that the Bengals have a chance to become a real NFL Team!!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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