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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« The Bengals Future Head Coach Displays World Class Ineptitude Once Again | Main | Never In A Million Years »

September 14, 2009


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I can envision a scenario that when Bratkowski becomes head coach he's going to tell Zimmer during a game to stop blitzing so much and pressuring the quarterback because we haven't establlished our base defense yet.

The REALLY funny part of all of this is that the picture of 'The Brat' looks like a mugshot! With what he's done with the offensive offense, well, sort of... ...that is a crime and thus the picture is appropo!

Part of the problem is the offensive line stinks, compared to 2005 especially. Thanks to drafting Big Fatty, they didn't get much better from year to year. Well run franchises would have gotten more help for their $100 million QB. But not Mike Brown, Mr Thickest Skull in America.

With the Bengals you have to force yourself to take a Macro approach to the problems. We can yell, scream, and get upset all we want at Brat. He is to blame for a big part of yesterday for sure. But he is just a micro problem and after 19 years of losing we must take the Macro approach. The Macro approach says that we can point out all of the Bengals short commings but we are just chasing our tails until we replace the one common factor. Therefore, until MFB is replaces or forced to hire a true GM, things will never get better.

Would replacing Brat with a Brian Kelly type cordinator help? Sure it would. But the bigger problem is ownership. As long as MFB is calling the shots, Brat will keep doing what he is doing. Heck, why should he change? He is going to be the next head coach just by doing what miserable job got him here. What is his incentive to change? Mike would never fire him, that costs too much. Again, we can talk all we want about Brat, Defense, special teams, all comes back to Mike Brown and his placid approach. We are truly doomed until that changes.

While Showtime got it right and you got it right stating that one shouldn't force a strategy based on balance or slaving to one thing over another -- that what you need to do is to do what is needed to win regardless of 'the numbers...'ve got it wrong (IMHO) in that we don't have terrific receivers. Coles was a problem with his former team (The 'C' word) and 'Ochogringo', well he's just a problem.

As to games being won in the last two minutes, yes, he's right but it also must be noted that in a game where a win or loss can happen in those last two minutes, it is an ABSOLUTE that teams play differently in that time rather than they do midway through the 3rd Quarter -- for instance. Think: PREVENT DEFENSE -- you know, the defense that usually prevents the team who is employing it, from winning the game (and the Bengals hold the franchise for that bullshit!).

As to the Bengals Defense playing well, I could challenge that statement just on its face but lest I remind you that they were playing an EXTREMELY marginal offense to begin with -- and not just that, but they played against a QB who had an open displaced dislocation on his throwing hand and made him look like an actual NFL QB.

The Bengals are "turrible!" -- a nod to Sir Charles

@Theme-Creator: Of course you're correct. Unlike most organizations except the Stinky Oakland Raiders, when a coach comes into a job he gets to pick his own assistants. Marvin Lewis did *not* pick Brat, he inherited him!

So we have to wait until Mike Brown dies for a shot at change. Because in all honesty the only way WDR is going to have an effect on the Bungles while MFB still breathes is if the *NFL* steps in and forces MFB to do something. There is no way pressure of any kind -- even the boycott which I strongly support -- would change this thick skulled freak of nature's mind. Mike Brown is a unique piece of work. Sadly.

With a good offensive line we could still have a better offensive coordinator. Entirely separate issue. Brat gets no credit for 2005. With me at coordinator I submit the Bengals would have produced 95% of the offense they did that year with Brat.

Theme-Creator. Agreed. But why not rake Brat over the coals while we wait for change in the meantime? Mike Brown somehow stumbled into Mike Zimmer. Perhaps he can stumble into something good on the other side of the ball as well.


There is a way to defeat Brown that does not require his death. As it has been said time and time again, other than the Bengals he is not a wealthy guy. He cannot afford on going operating loses. He has no source of other income and Hell will freeze, pigs will fly, and Elvis do the superbowl halftime show before Brown will dig in his pocket to off set loses. This is really a defining year. Most to the suites leases are up this year. They are the difference between him making money and losing money. If the WDR can just keep growing its reach, things should pop by 2011. Mike will have to change or file BK.

WCH - the receivers are not the problem. Sure, we don't have Chad & TJ in their prime...but they are still not the problem. Same with defense, they are not the Steelers/Ravens from last year, but they are not the problem either.

Brown family has never had real heat on them. Not even in the 90s did they have real heat on them. Maybe no change is possible with Mike Brown, the boycott still makes sense on principle even if you think nothing will change.

the main problem as i see it with the Brat is the total lack of adjustments. its like his entire playbook is predetermined, and nothing will make him deviate from that. the total predictability of his play calling is also contributing to my upcoming heart attack, but the fact that he learns nothing as the game develops infuriates me the most.

i remember during the late 90's, one of the only reason the Bengals' were watchable was the fact that they were never scared of calling for the big play. it seemed like at LEAST once a drive, Pickens or Scott would get a chance at a ball 50 yards down the field. i remember one game against the Niners where the score was like 240-350, and every scoring drive had one or two bombs. with the weapons we have now, why not Palmer air it out once every other drive? its not like what we were doing Sunday was working.

and i'm sure i'm gonna get shit for saying this, but i am actually glad we might suck this year. i would like to see us win, and have fun for a change this season... but then nothing would force MB to change. it would be like 2005 all over again. everyone would forget about the last two decades, and the games would be sold out for another four years. this way, if we are awful this year, especially in a 'recession,' there most certainly will be some changes. MB would lose too much money otherwise.

if we make the playoffs this year, and next season is un-capped, we are all fucked... for another two decades.

@Brian: Nails it!

Brian -

I won't give you much shit, as you had anticipated. However, why do you believe having another losing season would encourage Mike Brown to change. All he knows is losing seasons, another one isn't likely to push him to the edge.

@Nacho: The people who have to change are the fans who fill Mike Browns pockets.

It's sad that a fan can easily predict when the team will run the ball. The power running game isn't working. BUT notice when the Bengals have 4 receivers snug close to the line, Carson almost always completed the ball. We haven't seen this type of receiver set in the past.

This is far fetched, but maybe we can secretly hire Joe Pantoliano to play the part of our offensive coordinator and do away with Bratkowski. Mike Brown would never know the differnce.

I just want to go on the record as saying the Raiders, as I'm watching them lose with 18 seconds to go, remind me A LOT like the Bengals in their play. First they tease you with a late score and then blow it. Yawn.

After all that praise about Mike Brown keeping the 4 backs, DeDe Dorsey got cut to make room for King Hippo of the Broken Foot. So much for that.


the last time we had a streak of non-sellout games (a point when MFB was losing money) he put someone other than himself (Marvin Lewis) in charge of personal decisions.

its not losing that he is afraid of.

For all the good it will do, I sent HobSpin an email questioning why the Bills can fire their offensive coordinator and score 24 points against the Patriots a week later, yet the Bengals stubbornly hang onto a guy who can't score against the Broncos who gave up 3,476 points in the final three games of the regular season last year to lose their way out of the playoffs. I also mentioned that I knew he wouldn't post my message on the site, but perhaps he could provide me with an email response at the very least to reward my continued devotion to a team who gives me so little to brag about. I realize that you are all in the same boat, but keep in mind I live about 40 miles north of Pittsburgh and I end up watching the Bengals games at the only local sports bar around my house, which is Billy's Black and Gold, so hopefully you can imagine what that's like for me.

At this point I blame the fans and the NFL. If this were the Eagles, Bratowski would have been beaten to death in public 5 times over.

Nobody listens unless they're being hurt. The Brown family feels no pain as long as there is a profit sharing setup in the NFL. They also feel no pain as long as none of the coward fans in Cincinnati acts to punch any of them in the face, or set their house on fire, etc.

The NFL needs to actively penalize teams that show no effort. If a team sucks balls for 3 or 4 seasons in a row, the NFL should step in and forcibly assign a GM on that teams dime. After all, they're making money on other teams successes, and the only people to be punished are the fans and the city.

But no. Other fans hope for a Superbowl win, Cincinnati fans hope for the death of the owner. That's how sad it has gotten.

Or maybe Cincinnati just likes being the punchline of the biggest joke in the NFL. They should just change the teams name to the Cincinnati Brown Family Trust Fund.

I Said this before...Brat is the reason why I am not renewing my season tickets next year. Yeah I know you could go on about all the other problems but Brat makes it unbearable to watch with ihs assinine play calling. We have Carson Palmer for christ sake use him...arrrghh I'm done

Mikey Boy is not going to fire Bob Bratkowsky. I'm sure that Paul Brown and Mikey knew Bob's father Zeke when he played for the Packers and we know how important family and friends are to Mikey regardless of how incompetent they are.

Also, is anybody else having nightmares about that human weeble Jim Lippincott knocking on your door in the middle of the night and telling you that you're fired? I can't get that image of him from Hard Knocks out of my head. He defies gravity.

I am going to dress up as Lippincott for haloween.

Regarding the comment on the Raiders blowing their lead. I know they suck but at least there is a recognition of playing to their strengths to get the lead in the first place -throw deep if you have a QB that can (and hope for the best,admittedly). We are just to conservative for that. From where I am standing (The UK) its a real shame as I grew up with a Bengals team that prided itself in an approach that was cavalier and unpredicable. Looking at highlights of every other game this weekend even losers like the Raiders entertain more than the Bengals. I would rather Palmer comes out and throws 55 times a game than handing it off 25 times for 80 yards. Play to win - not to avoid defeat you chickens!


Brain while I agree w/ most of your points you are wrong about MFB losing money. At no point has that occurred.
The TV contracts cover all operating expenses.
The one thing fans can affect is profit by not buying anything Bengal. Our only hope is that profits fall enough that The Family actually does something.

We want wins. MB wants money.
We want players we can be proud of, on and off the field. MB wants athletes at a discount.
We want a GM. MB wants to keep business in the family.
We want a championship. MB wants to be competitive.

What the hell is wrong here?!? That Broncos game was a freakin disaster! My 11 year-old son is becoming as big a fan as me, and I feel like I'm sentencing him to a life of torture! Somebody please give me something to look forward to!
I can't take it. I need a drink...

Coming from a fans perspective Brat shouldn’t have earned a pay check for Sundays game. Really I don’t recall the last time that I felt that he earned his pay. I hate to be the fan that calls out a coach, but Sunday was classic Brat. Football is a game of adjustment, and to be an offensive coordinator you have to be aggressive. That is not Brat. You have a team that has given Carson Palmer all the weapons in the world to succeed, and overcome other short comings, but do they use them? No, and my question is why not? Just a thought but if you play 4 Wide the outside guys running deep while the receivers runs an open slant or challenges a safety on a post /seam. In any case there should be able to check down to a back coming out of the backfield (Colts 05’ 06’ 07’)

So if you guys want a new OC put my name in the hat. I promise to bring a fun offensive similar to the “Greatest Show on Turf” . Doesn’t that give you chills.


@Tushi - While I agree 110% that Brat sucks, the truth is Carson doesn't have all the weapons. This offensive line sucks as much as Brat does. The running backs are all SCRUBS. The tight end is a non-position in Bungle-land since Rodney Holman retired. Etc.

Carson will probably get hurt before the season is half done. He's gonna get sacked a ton. As I've said before, he's "the new Archie Manning". he better hope he has sons so he can go to a Super Bowl.

concretefish, take your son to Bearcats games from now and in 20 years, he will thank you for steering him away from the Bengals.

We all know what Brat is going to do based on the formation. The wave of younger coaches in the NFL isn't just a fad. It's the willingness to part with the old way of doing things, something brat can't do. I almost had a heart attack when they ran the fake punt. And it came almost in a wildcat formation. It's success should be an example to the Bengals. No one expects anything spectacular from the Bengals, other than a down field threat. If the offense was really overhauled, then there should be enough to take out of it, and overhaul it again, along with the O-Coordinator. Get rid of this guy. Every fan, beat writer, opposing defense, non-football fan, knows exactly what the Bengals are going to do before they run a play. They are too predictable, and need a younger mind to inject a level of spontinaity and willingness to change looks, and change the gameplan when things aren't working as expected.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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