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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 26, 2009


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who dey baby.... stuck tha feelers ..... i pray that i can shove this weekend into thousands of steelers fans, i cant tell you how many people walk up and talk shit when im sportin my bengals jerseys .... because "they like the steelers and there gonna kick our ass"... a win would be better than my first hand job this week.... i want rey to break wine hard's jaw

It's fine if you cheer for the Bengals on tv, just don't actually go to the stadium and enrich Mike Brown. Otherwise you're just being suckered the same way Charlie Brown is by Lucy.

I love my Bengal's and have since I was about 7 or so(since the begining, I'm 46), I hate the douche bag and his family that own the team. His father just has to be spinning in his grave.

I have been in a foul mood this entire week. I couldn't figure out why, and then about Wednesday it hit me, it's steelers week!

I so hate the steelers and their fucking douche bag fans with every molecule of my being that I have been an absolute dick to be around.

I so hope that our boys stomp a mudhole 5 feet deep in the steelers collective asses, that I can't see straight.

I think the boys have been showing increased improvment each game and beleive this week should be no different.

WhoDey! Break one off in that steeler ass!!

¡Viva La Revolucion!

P.S. WDR, you guys are the best and I will continue to send you money when you need it for Project Mayhem and I sport my WDR t-shirt everywhere and am speading the word of the revolution here in Columbus, Oh!

Whoa! When this website came up and I first saw the picture, I thought I had accidently clicked on!

Go Bengals! Destroy the Evil Empire.

*starts slow clap*

Seriously, though, Buck, this is probably the most compelling plea I've read on this site to date, and it certainly states my position as a Bengals fan first and foremost and a Mike Brown hater second. It also nicely sums up the daily turbulence of being a Bengals fan and constantly looking for something to hope for (especially when about 70% of my family and 90% of my friends are Steelers fans). I think one thing you missed, though, was this - this is more than everything you said, because it gives us a chance to strike first and put the Steelers on notice. They beat us first (and last) in 2005, and while that division clincher was oh-so-awesome, as good as the Bengals had played during the season, I know I wasn't the only one who wasn't sure if the boys in stripes could pull that game off. They go out tomorrow and knock the Steelers in the mouth (figuratively and literally, in the case of Whines Hard), and it puts them on notice (and Baltimore, to a lesser degree): the Bengals aren't a doormat anymore.

Oh, yeah, and how much hotter is an already-hot chick when she's wearing a Bengals jersey? If this chick isn't proof enough, google Aubrey O'Day and Bengals jersey and check out the pic(s) of her in a Chad Johnson jersey (pre-Ochocinco).

I hope Hines Ward gets drilled so hard he starts crying.

Then Rey Maualuga smashes into Rothlisberger's knee so hard that it gets ripped off. Then he proceeds to BEAT HIM WITH HIS OWN LEG.

Just promise not to be too sad when the Steelers beat you guys, again? The Reds were better than the Pirates (barely)...that's something, keep your head and and count yourselves absolutely blessed you still have a professional football franchise

I loathe the Steelers. The only time I have liked them was Madden 2005 on the PS2, when I would use Jerome Bettis to run over my son.

Joe, it's hard to be sad about something that is utterly expected.

That said, rot in hell Pittsburgh scum.


The Steelers are fun to hate but we really wish the Bengals were like them. They are the best team in the NFL if you go by the only metric that counts.

On the other hand, all their fans I've met have been jerks.

A larger gathering of retards has never been assembled. May all Squeeler fans find out about the joy of the love of an unclean woman. Enjoy the burning pee, Squeeler fans!

Absolutely was ecstatic about the end result. Worried there for a while but we pulled it off somehow. Looked at some Squealer blogs and noticed that they take losing poorly. This nugget was a funny one, because it's true. It was posted by a blogger at Behind The Curtain.

"Our window is closed. The Bengals were superior to us physically and mentally, as most teams are, we need ball sucking officials in order to survive, without preferential calls, the Steelers are toast. WE NEED THE REFS TO SHOW UP!"

That is so true on so many levels. I laughed my ass off at this. SCREW YOU PITTSBURGH!!!! I'm sporting my Chad Johnson jersey with pride today at work. and laughing in the face of every Squealer fan in the process.WHO DEY!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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