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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 01, 2009

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Bengals rookies hold out so often that the Bengals, themselves, are the real losers. Once the player signs, he gets his paychecks when the regular season starts. Smith, like so many previous rookies, only loses the pre-season game paychecks, which used to be $2,000 per game (I don't know what the pay rate is now). This is chump change for NFL players. But the holdout prevents the player from contributing sustantially in his rookie season. So are the Bengals (a.k.a. Mike Brown) better off saving a few million, or worse off because they pay a few million to a player that does not contribute in their rookie season? I'm sure MB doesn't care. This argument is just another "theme" to him.

LOL, this is unbelievable.

Mike brown ruins the Professional carrers of two men in one sitting. 1 Hippo has to play here 2 Alvin b/c of that deal will likeley never get a first rounder again.

Not that we should feel any sympathy for the likes of Alvin Keels, mind you.

This is a ""Cutting off the nose to spite the face" move.

"We don't want him to be overweight, let's really finagle with the contact to ensure he'll never be overweight."

a) If he needs this incentive to not be overweight, he's probably not the player you want.
b) All the time spent haggling over this contract could have been spent dragging his a$$ to camp to ensure he wouldn't have anything remotely resembling weight problems to begin with.

Andre, get another agent fast man. Hell I could have gotten you a better deal than that!

Well, Smith just fractured his foot in a "non contact" drill so another typical draft bust for Mikey. AT least he won HIS Super Bowl, the contract bowl.

...and then Andre goes and "fractures his foot." Poetic, really.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

A 350 pound guy doesn't recover from anything in a couple of weeks.

After reading the comments I thought you all were just joking about the foot fracture just to smite Mike Brown and his draft busts in recent years. And then... I checked out Bengals.com and low and behold he did break his foot! Ahh Hahaha ROFL!!! Wow! Thats Karma for you Mikey Boy! LMAO

Well, look at it this way. Mike Brown now has his built in excuse for why the team does not win this year. Mark my words, in the upcomming off-season (sad we are already talking about that) the Bengals will come out and say that they will be much improved and ready to win now that Andre is back. They will blame this year on a rash of injuries that only happens to them.....We have all heard the story before...I think Mike and Andre deserve each other.

Theme,
That guy doesn't need Andre Smith as an excuse. He is an excuse-o-matic. He generates excuses for losing like politicians lie. It is breathtakingly effortless.

And, with the Bengals crack training staff (sarcasm intended) and their vast amount of experience with foot fractures, Andre Smith may actually develop into a decent lineman in his third season (assuming JJoe is actually healthy this year, and not just saying that at the beginning of the season like he has the last two). Beautiful.

Evil S*O*B Mike Brown doesn't *need* built-in excuses for Bungles suckery. He's creative in that way. At most six wins. Mark it down.

Does it not seem obvious that Andre had a fractured foot before he signed and Keels just pulled off the best deal they he could possibly get when you're a guy selling damaged goods?

Mike may have offered him minimum wage if he thought he could get a fractured foot discount. Keels just jackpot fucked mfb! It looked completely the other way around until now.

I love it when a crook gets robbed.

Buck Mike Frown!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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