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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 04, 2009

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Are you kidding me? You need a nickname for Bratkowski? Come ON! It's obvious... it's: The Brat! Now let me give you the etymology: The history is the serial porno movies starring Jamie Summers! You know, The Brat, Brat School, Army Brat, Army Brat 2, Still the Brat (and my personal favorite title -- should the movie ever get made where Ms. Summers reprises her role for a comeback...), The Brat Rides Again!

Seriously, think about it, it is appropo! Bratkowski, like Summers, is 'fucking EVERYONE' and 'fucking STUPID' at the same time! BRILLIANT!

Good article, Competitiveness. I really think this is where Rey will make the biggest difference for this club. Not only will hit throttle RBs in the backfield, but he will provide pressure on the QBs. At the very least, this will cause errant throws by the opposing QBs and hopefully INTs (as pressure is known to do this). I think that if the team does well and he has a good year, it could mean an ROY award for Rey. I really think that the beefed-up DT position will help as well. Tank is a good presence and is known for his pass rush and Pat Sims is really becoming a good football player. This is also a make-or-break season for Geathers. He's been used the wrong way since he had the 10.5 sacks in '06 and he needs to make plays this year. I don't think blitzing the DBs is a bad idea either. Ndukwe always seems to get in there and if they keep Nelson, I think he can do the same. I agree that they are weak at CB and I'm arguing that they keep both Lynch and Nelson as both guys are swing players and can play man coverage in blitz situations. All in all, I think that the pass rush will be improved (not vastly, though) because good DTs that can stop the run forces the opposition to be predictable and pass the ball allowing the DE's to tee off and benefit the DBs. We'll see though.

Bob "The Brain" Bratkowski..also

"bush-league"

"run-run" possibly add another "run" to this as well

"batters box"...i don't know why but this one made me laugh

give me some time and I'll actually think of some good ones...

Bob "Bratworst" Bratkowski (as in WORST OC in the league...perhaps a bit harsh, but the play on bratwurst is too good to pass up!)

How about Bobby "the noob" Bratkowski because all the defences in the leauge own him. I would swear he has never payed this game before. I could do better just having madden pick the plays. Who wants to put 5 on that fact that the monitor on hard knocks that he is always looking at has madden 10 on it and not the game.

run run pass punt

Bob "Pan Fried" Bratkowski
Bob "Smoked" Bratkowski (obviously in reference to our O Line getting smoked and our qbs getting destroyed)

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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