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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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And on top of that, who is Brat going to call a 3 yard pass over the middle on 3rd and 7 now? Kelly was good for at least 2 of those a game.

If Boobs Mcgee can get in and sign before the G%d Damn pre season starts then we may have some relief in that department, otherwise (and even though i like Collins) I have the same sickening feeling. That said, hopefully Coffman or the rock star can step up their respective pass protection skills with the extra work.

What is the record for longest rookie holdout in the NFL? Who knows hippopattasmith might be going after all the records.

I think Brat just bought his ticket for 2010. Barely into camp and already a nice injury excuse pops up for this offense. I'm sure he's salivating over the prospect of being employed another year. Or drinking. Whichever.

RK,

My guess would be Bo Jackson, who decided to play baseball rather than for Tampa Bay.

I can't argue with Reggie Kelly being a good leader because he is, but so many times he was the target on third down and it just never worked out. He was always short of the first down or would stone hands the pass.
I think this could work out, it forces the Bengals to turn to another TE. Yes, Utecht was hurt, so all we really had was Kelly anyway, but Coffman has some sick highlights and the TE's are just gonna have to step up their blocking.
Plus, (and I don't know why Brat doesn't understand this) you need to have a true passing threat at TE at all times. Carson has needed a consistent over the middle option for some time now (not Housh).
Also, in regards to pass and run blocking, maybe if the Bengals actually put a real fullback in there and not a converted TE, Carson would get some of those chip blocks he needs.

The previous comment is typical of a Cincinnati fan. They do not understand that a tight ends major job is to run block, not catch passes. Guys like Tony Gonzales and Antonio Gates get all the "Fantasy Stats" because there are no other receiver options on those teams.

The Bengals don't need a pass catching tight end. They need a guy that will help the running game. A catch here and there is good but not necessary. There is plenty of wide out production on this team. Running and defense is the major problem.

RK -- Not sure, but I'm pretty certain that David Pollack and Justin Smith have to be up there in terms of lengths of holdouts. Either the the annual "Bengals first-rounder holds out" event is underway.

Whodeyni -- Agree and disagree. Yes, they need a threat at TE to catch, that's why Coffman was drafted and Utecht was picked up last year. And you are right, they haven't been able to run the ball since the departure of a true FB (Coats is the worst NFL player I've ever seen). However, I'm torn about how I feel about the Kelly loss. I think the Bengals overrate him and the NFL underrates him as a TE. In an anemic offense last year, Kelly had 31 catches and is known as an effective blocker. Part of me wishes he'd be on the line helping out the tackles with blocking, but even with him in there for the last two seasons, the Bengals haven't been able to run the ball. He'll be missed, but can be replaced. Either way, I'll be happy as long as Daniel "shit on the" Coats doesn't see the field.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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