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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Mike Brown to Alvin Keels: I Got Your Slotted System Hangin' | Main | Project Mayhem Task #9, Flight #3: "101-187-1: HIRE A GM!" »

August 07, 2009

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Why does it seem like every year, our wonderful owner sits on his hands and waits for everyone around our 1st round pick to sign before we do anything? Go ahead and sign Smith already! At some point, we have to lead by example. You could tell from the time Andre Smith's name was selected, he was going to be a hold out. This is getting very old! Both sides are ridiculous. This guy has never played a down in the NFL. He needs (and we need) him to get his @$$ into camp and start protecting our most prized possession, Palmer. Our team won't be any better than it was last year unless we can run block and pass protect. We need to quit messing around and get ready for the season. It's not helping having our #1 pick sitting on his couch getting fatter than he already is!

Thanks for the laugh! and I would not put it past MFB doing something like charging the HBO crew. LOL On the subject of not signing our first rounder and I have said this on many boards and over many years, MFB is really Cheap, he wants to penny pinch, he does the stupid move of telling the draft pick and his agent he is the starter and cuts the position where he is to start. That is one of the biggest mistakes to make. Plus, his family clan does not have a clue on how to sign a player on their own. The only time he did it was with Carson Palmer and that was because ML was new and he did not want to be embarrassed in front of the whole world.

Even when he is slotted, like he is now, he tries to be cheap and pay him less then they guy who signed below him. You can forget about Andre Smith, he will not start, he is too far behind. MFB, if you do not want to pay the guy then trade out of the slot you MORON! Oh, i forgot, you do not know how to trade out of the slot either and I have proven that over the years too. Team owners don't want to deal with this clown!

I'm really more excited by the prospect of Collins getting time at RT, because if he does do well, then when HippopotaSmith finally is ready to go, maybe he'll get plugged in at LT (which would be Mikey's way of rationalizing whatever he ends up paying him - "Yeah! Starting left tackle for right tackle money! I'm a genius!"), Whit can move back to LG, and we can actually field a line with some guys playing at their normal position. Of course, looking at guys like Joe Thomas, who come into the league on time (because, for all his faults, Phil Savage isn't a tightwad dumbass), and play well enough to make the Pro Bowl his rookie year, it makes you wonder how much MFB's cheapness is really hurting the team.

The toon won't display on my screen(says "error" on page). Has someone hacked into it and screwed with it? Or is it just me?

Thanks for emailing it to me Spence. I heard Mikey charges fans to attend. Is that true? Hell, even the jolly little elf(Malcolm) and his two sons(Frick and Frack) open the practices for free down here in Tampa. Anyway, great toon, Spence.

P.S. I still think a toon showing MFB's thoughts on the planes(while looking up) is in order!!(IMHO)

I can't see it ?!?!?! unless the little box with the red X is a page out of Brats playbook ??

Anyone that can't see it let me know. I can email it to you.

stephenspencer@att.net

Restaurants should realise that if they want customers to carry on dining out then they need to lower their prices. It's not rocket science.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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