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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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August 01, 2009

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Hahahaha!

Where is a link for us to donate, Comrade Brosef?

Donate via the link on the left at the top....

I just donated. I was worried you guys were going to screw this up like the Draft, but you really came through, and I'll make another donation in the very near future.

The only thing I will say negative about this post is that you guys keep harping on 18 years of failure, in spite of the 2005 season. If that season was a failure in spite of a playoff berth because the Bengals failed to win the Super Bowl, then why not just count every year since the franchise came into existence? After all, we as fans can brag about the same number of Lombardi trophies no matter which Brown was in control of the team. I hate to be the one clamoring to give the devil his due, but you can't hold Paul Brown up as the be-all, end-all for this organization without at least admitting that the 2005 season was a success. Granted, it may have only been a success because of pure dumb luck, but it was a success, nonetheless.

I would take exception to ANYONE saying that the Bengals had a good draft. Look at what they needed -- that, as always, isn't addressed. Look what they got -- marginal players in the draft. Look at what they gave up -- a chance to bag a few players and maneuver around by trading up/down.

All of that that they missed yet some 'experts' assert that the Bengals had a good draft? Maybe a good 'daft'! In the course of my life I have found one immutable fact -- experts are nothing more than 'former - "perts"'.

This is absolutely hilarious, keep it up guys.

Don't listen to the blind yearly optimists over at go-bengals.com or whatever douchebag fan site that is. That will last until Palmer's first broken appendage happens in the preseason.

If you are willing to buy real estate, you will have to get the loans. Moreover, my mother commonly uses a college loan, which seems to be really useful.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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