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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Mike Brown - Never Ceasing to Amaze | Main | Project Mayhem Featured on the Front Page of ESPN.com »

August 24, 2009

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"The Bengals are Brown's only business interest," from paragraph four of 'The family legacy section'.

Mmmm. That's false...

Guys, I hate to be the dark cloud that the silver lining is wrapped around, but, to me at least, that article is overly sympathetic to Brown, and really kinda made the Revolution seem like we were a bunch of assholes, picking on a harmless old man. I think we all know that that's not the case, but the article spent a lot of time building up that Mike Brown does, in fact, know football, even if it's the way the game was played 40 years ago.

wyatt,

i don't think anyone, anywhere, who knows anything about football, would ever think that MFB has any clue about what he is doing. it is a scientific fact that a wet tube sock full of peanut butter could have done a better job running the Bengals for the last two decades... and you can't argue with science. a harmless old man goes to church and old country buffet and hands out hard candy to all the kids in the neighborhood. he doesn't spend all of his time ruining Sunday afternoon for millions of devoted fans.

the sooner we, as fans, realize that WE are the ones who have control of the money in MFB's bank account, the better the team will be. hopefully this exposes the Revolution to all the unenlightened masses. i can't imagine a fan with the long-term interest of our team at heart NOT supporting what WDR does.

Viva!

Just a note (there are so many things to address but why waste my time?) the problem with the Bengals not being televised is that we get 'shit' games involving 'shit' teams as a result -- andin some cases, we get just one game. Even to that point, Mikey Boy is fucking the city. hahahahaha!

WCH while you are correct that on some Sunday afternoons we will only get 1 game, you have miised on another point.
As someone who had season tickets for over 20 years and never missed a home game; shit games w/ a shit team was pretty much what I was watching.
I mean I literally left games to go home a rake leaves. How shitty is it to drop big bucks into Mikeys wallet only to watch him continue to crap all over the same fans who built him a stadium so he could in his words "compete w/ the rest of the league"?

Too bad they didn't link back to you. Kinda classless I think.

I find it amusing that there is no discussion of this on the Bengals message boards. Those jackass moderators must be deleting threads.

That's a great article. But given Brown's unwavering attitude don't you think it proves the futility of your efforts? I admire WDR a great deal, but it's obvious that no amount of mayhem is going to change Mike Brown one bit.

Sigh...

band both proving and discovering how great there

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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