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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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August 24, 2009

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If the SOB would give us a reason to buy tickets, we would never have hired the plane in the first place! At least we know their sorry asses saw the plane.

Well done, Andrew Simon. Great article. The revolution is gaining steam.

Very good article in exposing the pathology of the Bengals. Mike Brown per the ESPN aticle: "Will it finally be enough to turn around Bengaldom? Brown believes it is every year."

Albert Einstein on Mike Brown: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Yes! That quote grabbed me as well. A complete failure to grasp that we derive more entertainment value for our dollar from watching the planes fly than we do watching Bengals games. It thinks that makes us weird, instead of realizing that it speaks to the poor value that his product provides.

But he has to pretend to be that thickheaded about it because it's the only way to avoid admitting that we're right.

I'm glad MB doesn't even understand what WDR is trying to accomplish at all. I at least gave him the benefit of the doubt that he understood what we are mad about, but just didn't care.

Maybe that was supposed to be a whack at dry humor. Because otherwise he must be living in Wonderland.

The quote that really got my attention was:

"People close to Mike say he's a throwback who would probably be more comfortable in that era, at least 40 years ago. He has been known to go canoeing in a dress shirt, a pair of khakis and fancy work shoes. "That's just Mike," a friend says, without elaborating."

That's just Mike - an idiot. If only the game of football had not evolved from the 60's, then Mike would still be the football genius referred to in the article...

P.S. is it just me or is the thought of Mikey going down some rapids rockin some penny loafers and khakis hilarious?

Talk about oblivious

MFB says he has 6 scouts in that article? Yea, prove it old man! He is probably talking about his family and Fat Boy Lippy and the scout consultants who are nothing more then part time scouts. Don't they work from their home? LOL

Nice article and very good publicity for this site. MFB says it is a waste of resources? How would he know what a waste of resource is if he has never paid out to try something different? He must be talking about not hiring a GM since he is so damn smart and knows how to make a winner. LOL

It has been reported in various media outlets that the Bengals have only one or two scouts on staff and rely heavily on their coaches to evaluate personnel. Brown disputes that and says he has six scouts on staff.

I thought Mike Brown was paying himself $1 million a year as a "GM Bonus." How is it a waste of resources if the team is paying for a GM?


It's about time this site became a real revolution. People should openly root against them to lose every game, and verbally berate Bengals supporters.

I want them to win, and come hell or highwater, everyone getting on board with that philosophy is the only way things will change.

I never knew this site existed. It is amazing. It encapsulates all the frustration I have felt as a Bengals fan. Finally, I no longer have to read the message boards at bengals.com while driving ice picks through my eyeballs. Keep up the good work.

By the way, I was driving up I-75 the other day, and actually passed (and then later tailgated) MB. He drives a Chevy Impala. I think it helps to show that his penny pinching invades all aspects of his being. (Granted I would love to drive a Chevy Impala, but come on, the guy's a fricking multi-millionaire).

*How long can you think of life to the moon?

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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