Hard Knocks Volume 3: It's Hittin' Weather

Week 3 of Hard Knocks.

1000 - Joe Buck Live. Great show. Previously on Hard Knocks. Carson talks down to the Bengals "trainers". Why, because he can and should. Players hit each other.

1002 - We open at dawn. Bratkowski looks svelte on that bike. He ought to ride into the sunset and never come back.

1005 - "When this football team takes the field what are they gonna say?" Their helmets are kickass but I'm glad I don't play for them.

1006 - Roy Williams,"Tom got skills man. And he fast."  Translation: I hate when white boys are faster than me.

1008 - Wow, HippopataSmith is getting dogged on pretty hard. That won't be awkward or anything once he joins the team a couple months from now.

1010 - Horse country...a**holes and elbows...HBO is really reaching on that segue. I love Zimmer though. "Whole bunch of guys on our defense that no one wanted." Yes, you are correct about that Mike.

1013 - Mauauauaulaaagaaa. Oooooooh snap! Is that guy dead? "He is a sumbitch." Uh oh, this Bengals trainer's job is to make sure Maualuaga is diagnosed and out for the year with a sprained/fractured vertebrae in his shoulder blade. I wouldnt be surprsied if we saw them bloodletting players with leeches.

1017 - Marvin is on his A game today, "You could grow a goddamn ankle back by now. People recover quicker from malaria." Straight killin it.

1018 - Palmer, "Im an astoundingly fast healer." Trainer, "Not if I have anything to do with it. We're thinking you'll be back by week 10."

1019 - You hear that Mikey Boy, the O-line needs continuity. Sign Andre Smith already.

1023 - Ochocinco condoms everyone. No words.

1025 - Benny Scott. Brat, "Hes real." Good, cause I was hoping we wouldn't be giving carries to a hologram. Things that are also true about Bernard. He plays football. He eats multiple times a day. 

1026 - Brian Leonard. Steady(Slow). Pass protects. White. 

1028 - Fitzgerald, "I know the trainers are certified in Haiti so if you feel something tell me cause they dont know what they're doing."

1030 - "What's his name? Don't worry about it. I dont know his name either." Darryl Blackstock cried himself to sleep that night.

1032 - MESS BRADY UP!!!!!!! Don't even wait for the game to start. Just Kerrigan him now.

1034 - Chad's fast, but is he Tom Nelson fast?

1035 - Understatement. Rey looks good.

1037 - Frostee just hit somebooodddyyy.

1040 - Its offical Chad is just as good of a kicker as Shayne. At least on kickoffs that is.

1041 - Tom nelson BRINGS THE PHYSICALITY!

1042 - The Shirley experminet continues unabated.

1042 - Seriously, why would Leonard get the 3rd spot? So that the Bengals can have a slow but steady pass blocker. Meanwhile Dede is making tacklers look straight foolish.

1044 - Tom Nelson BRINGS THE STRIPPABILITY. Next brilliant Mikey idea. Nelson running the wildcat. 

1045 - Most beautiful city in the world. Look at that river. You could eat dinner off of that river.

1046 - Chad doesnt even have to say anything to make me laugh. Is he at Claire's in the Kenwood mall?

1048 - Are we going to get through a whole episode without any Mikey Boy?  Please say so. It's soothing when we actually look like a professional organization with these meetings.

1049 - And nope. Mikey cuts some more guys. Oh boy, Katie and Alvin. She always look like shes taking a dump. So you meet for 4 hours and you dont make any progress. I hate both of them. "Lets stay in touch." What is that? You're business partners. Hammer something out and get the player in practice.

1051 - Is Lippincott wearing a diaper underneath those shorts. Does he wear his shorts like that so that no one will notice all his shirts are actaully tube tops? 

Until next time.  

Comments

[tony]

Roy Williams,"Tom got skills man. And he fast." Translation: I hate when white boys are faster than me.

Now i know why people hate Who Dey revolution and the media hacks who praise you fools for being a pain in the ass. Saying Tom has skills has nothing to do with being white. Maybe white athletes will stop being stereotyped when white people start giving white athletes credit for being good athletes. Wht'a wrong, is player hating becoming old and you are finding it hard to come up with new whinny ass excuses for being a prick?

[CurseofBoJackson]

Jim Lippincott and Katie Blackburn are the WORST possible representations of what this organization stands for. Ineptness, complete inability to relate to ANYONE, and money grubbing. Punkin is uqite possibly the worst looking woman I have ever seen under 80 years old or 250 pounds, just awful.
Tony, it's a joke dude, just a joke.

[braveduck]

Seriously?.....Seriously?.....I mean really?...Seriously?
WOW! I had no idea there was a serious white athlete stereotyping problem in the U.S.???????? We should really do something about this...................like feed the poor or volunteer to be a big brother/big sister or ride a bike or watch grass grow or maybe just lightn' up and go watch some stand-up comedy or sumptin'. Maybe I'll have you and Sly come over for a Beer Summit and we can work it out. MKAY!

[boriskat]

Isn't ... EVERYONE faster than Roy Williams?

Seriously, though, Tom ("Taz" according to Doc) Nelson is a welcome surprise.

[tony]

Isn't ... EVERYONE faster than Roy Williams?

Seriously, though, Tom ("Taz" according to Doc) Nelson is a welcome surprise.

My god, i can see it now. I love Tom Nelson but please lets not turn Tom Nelson into the Ryan freel, tracey Jones and Adam Rosales of the Bengals. It's an insult to Tom Nelson. I hope you understand that.

[TigerJ@w]

what some others think of Hard Knocks....video

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&brand=foxsports&vid=54dc7b3a-863e-4a09-92d2-02d32657f64c&playlist=&editor=&from=FOXSPORTS&fg=/nfl/team/cincinnati-bengals&rf=http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/team/cincinnati-bengals

[TJanns]

Hilarious.

love ling WDR.

Lippincott looks like an LPGA player.

[TheCarlPickensClause]

You all harp that the Bengals need better pass protection, and while this is one of Leonard's strengths, you want to throw him out for a guy that will be hurt for 6 games by week 3. I love watching Dorsey play (as there always seems to be a big play when he's in), but the guy has played a collective 4 games or something in the last 3 years (so, total of 5 big plays?). He's the Chatman of their running backs. The Bengals also to be high on a Dorsey-type in Scott. They can't keep both. They need blocking--every Bengal fan knows this. That's why it's a good idea that they keep Leonard and/or two fullbacks. If they keep Leonard and only one fullback, they'll then have the room to keep Dorsey, Leonard AND Scott. In a perfect world they'd get to keep Dorsey, Scott, Vakapuna, and Leonard, practice squad or otherwise. Unfortunately, it isn't in the cards.
Make fun of the Shirley thing if you want, but seeing a guy who's a totally "green" O-Lineman put a 320 Lb. Patriot D-Tackle on his arse was a welcome sight for a maligned line that lacks depth.
I think we can all agree on one thing, though: Maualuga needs to start week 1. The guy is awesome.

[WCH]

Gotta inject race into things... Classy!

[Danimal, Destroyer of Worlds, Eviscerator of Steeler Fans]

"Isn't ... EVERYONE faster than Roy Williams?"

Sadly enough, even Samkon Gado was faster than Roy Williams on his long TD run.

[kybengalsfan]

Katie acts like she does not know what she's doing. You meet with a guy for over 4 hours and you still don't have a deal. I mean, this is for anything, if you can't come to terms over a 4 hour meeting something is wrong. She seems unsure of herself when meeting him at the door. Or is that a normal look on her face?

[Sly Vramavomovich]

@WCH - Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I'm black. We're allowed to inject race into everything.