Oh my lord. I may be a little harsh on Ole Hob every once in a while for his extended metaphors and mixed up cliches but sweet jeebus, what does he expect from me when he writes things like this.
A headline is needed over a Cedric Benson story. No hesitation.
"Fire starter," Benson said. "A guy that can get things going."
At the moment, Benson is a smoldering brush fire looking svelte, sleek, and sculpted to be the runaway running back the Bengals haven't had, really, since Corey Dillon's prime.
Hob's gay erotica pen name is Gelf McKnobjob. Seriously though, Corey Dillon is pissed right now.
No one is saying that Benson is going to be Dillon, a borderline Hall of Fame candidate.
Besides you saying it one line ago. I would develop writer's amnesia too if my job was to wring every last drop of info out of the Bengals organization.
During the morning's full-pad session, Benson made some nice cuts in the run game to find some room, but maybe more importantly to him is that he also deftly got in the way of some linebackers during the blitz pickup drill.
I don't like the phrase, "got in the way". It reminds of what Levi did last year. Shouldn't the "sculpted" Benson be "blocking" linebackers instead of momentarily impeding them.
With every stride Benson, 26, continues to run away from his past with the Bears, where he was right in the middle of the "Great Chicago Fire" in a controversy that pitted him against franchise superstar Brian Urlacher.
Oh, I get it. This article has a theme. Fire Starter. Smoldering brush fire. Great Chicago Fire. And that theme is Bruce Springsteen songs.
The rest of the article is quotes from players like Tank Johnson and Roy Williams talking about how much better he is now that he's on their team and they have to say nice things about him. And then lastly, Hob provides us with one last spark of his eternal panache as a writer.
And maybe starting a few fires.
Amen.
"Hob's gay erotica pen name is Gelf McKnobjob"
LOL, I'm crying over here
Posted by: Thom Tadsen | August 07, 2009 at 09:28 AM
see? This kind of stuff is why i had to stop reading Gelf's columns (and the whole bengals.com site). it makes me wish for bad things to happen to him.
Posted by: sven | August 07, 2009 at 12:08 PM
LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Gelf McKnobjob | August 07, 2009 at 01:05 PM
How 'bout HobSpin's camp update capsules? He was praising Chad Ochocinco's work in the red zone drills, but in both instances he mentioned Ocho beat Leon Hall. So I ask you - is Chad truly resurgent, or is Leon Hall still just really awful?
Posted by: Wyatt | August 07, 2009 at 05:38 PM
I've been meaning to make a financial contribution to this site...if only because of the calling out of "Baghdad Hob" but never got around to it. Expect my $ contribution shortly. How much f'ing longer should we be expected, as normal educated human beings, to take this crap from bengals.com?
Posted by: Ty | August 09, 2009 at 03:25 AM