20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Just to expound on the headstone a little bit -- at least enough to put into true perspective, the headstone should additionally read: "...but my day as an 'original football mind' passed almost thirty years before I constructed the Bengals; and as an Owner and GM, I didn't have a hope in hell to even smell a title for the most part after 1968 because I was no different in terms of competence as an Owner and GM than my progency (who sucks the ass out of a dead giraffe), Mikey Boy Brown, yet I am still glorified in some circles by people who refuse to understand how worthless I was as the Owner of the Cincinnati Bengals and that I passed on that same worthlessness to said progeny. HAHA! I win!"
Posted by: WCH | July 25, 2009 at 12:21 AM
Who do you guys think you are? This is WAY overboard! It is absolutely wrong of you to use a dead father as a tool to insult his son. If you're going to make your complaints against the Bengals it's fine if they're warranted, but please consider removing this post. It doesn't do anything good; it's just wrong.
Posted by: Cya | July 25, 2009 at 07:22 PM
Very accurate. I'm sure Paul Brown is spinning in his grave at warp speed. And just because he didn't WIN any titles in Cincy doesn't mean he didn't love WINNING! I just don't see how anyone can say negativity towards him. He loved the game of football, and I doubt he was playing the fans(and taxpayers) the way MFB is.
I may be in the minority, but I like the toon.
Posted by: MikeBrownGivesFreeBlumpies | July 26, 2009 at 12:18 AM
WCH-Still the single worst. Cya- Get real, nerd.
Posted by: WCH Is the Worst | July 26, 2009 at 12:00 PM
I doubt you're in the minority for liking this. Why is it okay for us to say repeatedly that "Paul Brown must be spinning in his grave right now" but not to draw a humorous cartoon to the same effect? The fact of the matter is that Paul Brown almost certainly would not approve of the way his son his running the Bengals, and if you do not think that is significant than you don't really grasp the problem - which is that Mike Brown is trying (and failing) to be his father.
Posted by: Mockenrue | July 26, 2009 at 12:47 PM
I think PB would be disgusted to see what is happening with the Bengals. PB was no doubt concerned about his legacy. Mike better get concerned about his or he will be forever remembered as a full-blown joke. He deserves to be remembered as a joke at this point, so why would he be insulted?
Posted by: tbar | July 26, 2009 at 09:48 PM
Let's review: 1970 in his 3rd year as coach/owner of the Bengals PB made the playoffs; the youngest team to make the postseason at that time of the modern era. Yes years later the Jags and Panthers qualified sooner, but w/ an expansion draft that was much more generous than PB had to select from. No chance to smell a title? Yea whatever.
Oh and this little fact,with no PB there is no NFL in Cincinnati.
Now as far as the toon; it is most appropriate the man is on all fours ready to receive, just how Mikey likes his customers; which thankfully I am no longer one.
Posted by: Comrade Robert | July 28, 2009 at 09:25 AM