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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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July 30, 2009


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Craig is a bit contradictory, yes, but I also share some of his optimism. There's lots of depth on D, but that doesn't necessarily equate to production/important stops. A good draft, bordering on great (preliminarily) makes me happy and feel that the Gold Star Chili Bengal glass is at least approaching half full. I don't feel that the schedule is too tough, and definitely think we can get out to a winning start in the first four games. That said, I feel very queasy about the O-line and their 'potential.' My succinct prediction; 9-7, possible playoff birth, IF IF we can put something together on Offense that is worthy of being an NFL Franchise.


5-11, let's not kid ourselves. And is ANYONE drafting C-Ben in the 8th-10th rounds of your fantasy drafts. I see myself taking the likes of Jamal Charles, Selvin Young and Lester Munson before this joker.

Craig can barely string together 3 logical, substantive, grammatically correct sentences. I reread his preview and burst out laughing a few times.

I will not make any predictions until I see some preseason games and get a feel for whether or not some of my offseason theories are confirmed or denied. My tentative guess is 8-8.

Hey reality, can I get in on your fantasy league? Because if everyone in it is as dumb as you are then this will be easy money. A starting RB in the 8th - 10th rounds?

I am not saying Ced is going to be a top fantasy guy but your ignorance and hatred is blinding you.

you laugh, but i'll bet you twenty bucks ol' Craig there is a senior analyst over at ESPN within the month.

insightful AND articulate.

My prediction will be eerily similar to Craig's they're will be 12 wins for cincinnati bengals in the first 10 weeks.

"Last year this team finished in the top 15 in almost every defensive category and for sure we should see this team in the top 10 this year."

Sleeping with Bieniemy, how can you not call this out? This is a blatant lie. They didn't finish defensively top 15 in anything other than yards, and that's only because the offense gave the other team a short field.

Look it up.

And to compare the Bengals to nearly invincible Greek warrior Achilles? Hilarious.

7-9, third in the division.

I think they can win 12 games . . .over the next 3 years.

Kato - I think they may have squeezed in the top 15 in run defense which did improve. However, I am VERY suspicious that happened in large part because teams can throw so consistently against us without a pass rush. Hence, they don't put as much effort into trying to run.

The problem with writing this post was there was too much material to work with. Inevitably, I am finding things I left out, angles I could have taken or jokes I could have made that would have been more hilarious. Showtime or Sly would have rocked this post. I am sorely disappointed with my effort.

The Nationals are actually a little of the disappointment this yr subsequent reaching the .500 mark in 2005. Their downfall was as a complete result of two things: bad pitching and nobody apart from Alfonso Soriano inside the lineup that was a risk to produce runs.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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