Graphing Things in Excel Helps Me Visualize How Much Mike Brown Sucks

Anyone who follows the Bengals knows Mike Brown sucks. But I am not content just knowing, reading, hearing, or thinking about how much Mike Brown sucks. No. I want to SEE how much he sucks. Hence, enjoy the following chart I created instead of doing real work so far today:

This chart encapsulates the basic premise behind WDR: when Mike Brown (and cronies) exercise the majority of the decision making power, the Bengals stink. Below I outline the scientific methodology I used to create this chart:

1. The black shaded area represents the win total for the Bengals each season since 1991 and is plotted against the left axis
2. The transparent orange shaded area represents my best guess at the % control Mike Brown (and cronies) exercised over decision making each season and is plotted against the right axis

I assume Mikey & Co exercise full control (100%) until the Marvin hire in 2003 at which point Marvin handles the biz (10% stays with Mikey).  Mikey slowly creeps back into the picture in the background (2004 & 2005) making his full presence felt again sometime 2006.  He hits his highest point (80%) since he hired Marvin this past year.  As I said, extremely scientific stuff here.

Just for kicks I ran the correlation between these two data sets (wins and % control) and found a staggering -.69 correlation with overwhelming statistical significance tested at the 5% level*.  The implication:  The success of your favorite team varies inversely with the managerial control of a man who possesses dictatorial power over said team for life.  Awesome.

*this data was not tested at all and was actually subjectively crafted to maximize negative correlation while still being plausible just to make an overwhelmingly obvious point

Comments

[Delta5243]

Sleeping With Bieniemy, I nominate you for the WDR Outstanding Presentation Award for 2009 !!

[WhoDeyFSU]

If this were the Science Fair to Demonstrate the Ineptitude of Mike Brown... I'd give your statistical study first place.

[Hofbraunow]

I think this presentation should be shown at all business meetings, city council meetings, and
court hearings in the greater Cincinnati area...everyone have a seat, hit the lights please, and we'll begin

[WCH]

I wonder if all on this website are aware that while funny (and possibly true), this kind of thing just takes away from the seriousness of the goal of this website?

[The Slushovsky in NYC]

MY COMMENT, PART 1:

First of all, charts rule.

WCH, I think I understand your point. You are correct that WDR must prioritize credibility to achieve its goals. As agents of the anti-establishment, WDR is at constant risk of marginalization. Therefore, to be heard, WDR would be wise to maintain a spirit of integrity just as strong as its spirit of rebellion. So you are right to caution against letting the fun of (well-deserved) jokes/flaming/complaining to distract from being legitimate messengers of change.

However, I would also say this: (continues below)

[The Slushovsky in NYC]

MY COMMENT, PART 2:

(continued from above)

However, I would also say this:

1.) The goal of the WDR movement is change.

2.) To achieve change, WDR must generate attention.

3.) For the WDR website (the flagship component of the WDR movement), generating attention means generating an audience -- both maintaining its current audience and attracting new audience.

(continues below)

[The Slushovsky in NYC]

MY COMMENT, PART 3:

(continued from above)

4.) To generate that audience, this site must provide valuable things. Humor is entertaining, and commiseration is reassuring. Both are important elements for embattled Bengals fans, just to help keep us sane. So those are things that help make this site "sticky" for return traffic. Those are things that help make this site a destination in the Bengalverse. Indeed, comedy is one of the prime pieces of value this site offers. (And it's a type of value that can simply be provided more frequently/easily than the important media-jamming/PR efforts.) Therefore, to generate its audience -- a requisite for success -- this website needs to provide some humor and some commiseration.

(continues below)

[The Slushovsky in NYC]

MY COMMENT, PART 4:

(continued from above)

It seems to me that the Founding Comrades realize this irony: to be taken seriously, the revolution can't appear to take itself TOO seriously. This revolution is fun, starting with its Che-style logo. This site's posts are fun. The protests and stunts it organizes are fun. We are football fans, and football at its core is fun. (Or so I'm told!)

In conclusion, this site, while passionate, must to some extent be carried out in a spirit of fun. Otherwise we risk losing the forest for the trees. This site is many things, but it is definitely FUN. It should be. It's one of the reasons I'm always coming back. This revolution's ability to have fun in many ways its strength.

[Sleeping With Bieniemy]

Indeed, Slush, you've probably given it more thought that we have but your comments sound about right.

Sure, this post is tongue-in-cheek and the "% control" stat is just made up. But I dare anyone to make the case that the post isn't an accurate reflection of reality for the Bengals.

[Carson]

hahaha.... awesome