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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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June 09, 2009

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I couldn't agree more. ESPN doesn't report sports they peddle it.

They lost me years ago when they reported allegations made by Michael Strahan's wife during their divorce hearing as "breaking news".

They create controversy in sports, not report it. Listen to mike and mike some time and see what sort of brainless useless sports derived debate they have going. Like comparing Roger Federer to Tiger Woods or some other absolutely contrived argument.

ESPN = Extra Stupid Propoganda Network

I disagree about Berman being the worst sports personality. I feel that honor goes to Tony Kornheiser. Monday Night Football became virtually unwatchable (at least with sound on) thanks to his disgraceful attempts to become Joe "Hilarity" Everyguy. Thank goodness they found some semblance of sense and gave his broadcast spot to Jon Gruden.

Mackenrue: 100% on the money. I actually like Berman, but Kornheiser and Jim Rome make me want to kill myself with a rusty spork.

I really dont have an opinion on this because i don't watch they lost me years ago right around the end of the 05' season.

Mockenrue, I could not have said it better myself.

I quit watching sports center when I started getting the NFL Network. More news, better news, and less stupidity.

ESPN is yet another victim of the pervading theory in the media that they need to appeal to the lowest common denominator. There might be plenty of idiots out there, but they end up forgetting that we don't all belong to that group. National sports talk shows, ESPN's included, are largely a waste of time.

You're with me, leather

Yeah, Berman has drug us down, Madden made us all a little smarter, or maybe he made me smarter and I appreciated the game even more.
Berman and some of the other jackasses can go home.

i hate espn for the constant advertising... it's not just the "hot seat", it's the budweiser hot seat with the 6-pack of questions" followed by "Coor's cold hard facts"

Good editorial. I agree Kornheiser and Rome are worse, but they don't noone really respects Kornheiser and Rome doesn't weild the audience Berman does, so in terms of threat to our sports intelligence Berman is worse.

Unfortunately, the same point can be made about almost all of our (former) information sources - cable news, newspapers, even music...

NFL Network goes both ways. Sometimes brilliant. Sometimes a 168-hour Favreathon.

Everybody knows TV is idiotic, but all of you really just take sports way too seriously. nice article here, but who gives a shit?

dont like ESPN? start your own sports television network...im sure YOU will figure out a way to make a sports channel "smart."

Greatest WhoDeyRev article to date. I hate Berman and his slobbering highlights.

I agree with Major Payne. ESPN chooses to appeal to the low-level sports fans that only care to know what they tell them.

And williamsgevoort, take what ever you care about deeply and insert said interest into your statement: 'Don't like (Established Network) Start your own (your interest) network...I'm sure YOU will figure out to make a (Interest) channel "smart".'

You're an idiot.

He could.......be........one........fat.........fuck.

I don't care what anyone says. Hubie Brown is an awesome announcer. He actually knows something about basketball, Doug Collins does not.

I can't believe you didn't include Steve "The Special in Special Teams" Tasker. Just terrible.

Let's be honest here guys, this is nothing but "Boomer Bias" and I suffer from it myself. In our hearts and minds, there is only one Boomer, and it's not this semi-coherent, lard-loving, catch-phrase-spouting jackhole.

To the guy who said Madden made us smarter - how? By drawing pictures on a screen that got more or more jumbled and less and less coherent as time went on? By saying "boom!", "pow!", or some other 1960's Batman TV show sound effect at the end of every sentence? By managing to work in Frank Winters' "Bag o Donuts" nickname every Packers game he called, even for years after Winters' retirement? By generally being a fat, slovenly, barely enunciating loaf? By subjecting his broadcast partners to the auditory torture that is him chewing, swallowing, and then attempting to talk while doing one or both for an entire three-hour game broadcast?

So yeah, in case you can't tell, I hate Madden, and I feel that Berman comes from the same school of broadcasting - all catch-phrases and neck fat jiggling and no actual substance to speak of.

ok Bob. First of all, I have no idea what you mean, as I am calling out a tired complaint about television. I mean, does what Sly said even require commenting on? This is the oldest and most insipid arguments one could make in the year 2009. Congratulations Sly, you discovered that TV is for stupid people. And congrats to you Boob, you agree.

All I have to say is stop your investigation now, you might just discover how depraved and mindless sports is in general. I mean, you try talking about sports for fucking 20 years straight and then we will see what you become.

williamsgevoort,

i'm surprised you get ESPN through your aluminum foil helmet.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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