Today, at the PBS ticket offices...just before 4-game ticket packages went on sale. Let's work on those up-sell opportunities!
Remember, the coffee is for closers only.
(Careful opening...language)
Who Dey Revolution Manifesto
- Preamble
IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the eighteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
Comrade Links
Proletariat Links
Bourgeois Links
Email Us
Google Search
- Search
« Bengals Ticket Sales Continue to Falter | Main | "The Lost Generation" - Who Goes to Bengals Games? Edition »
June 29, 2009
TrackBack
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00e550080ede8833011570919495970c
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Inside Today's Bengals Sales Meeting:
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
Verify your Comment
Previewing your Comment
This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment
As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.
Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.
Project Mayhem
- 1. Report Mike Brown to the JERK Line
- 2. Bengals Billboards: Hire a General Manager
- 3. Complete Boycott of Bengals Merchandise and Concessions
- 4. Donate your Tickets to Lighthouse Youth Services
- 5. Signs at the Colts-Bengals Game
- 6. "Put Your Yellow on our Brown" Urinal Cakes
- 7. Send a Letter to Commissioner Roger Goodell
- 8. Season Ticket Boycott
- 9. Plane Pulling a Banner over Training Camp
BetUs.com
Are You a Douche Bag?
Open Letter to Mike Brown
Bengals Futility - By The Numbers
18 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.349 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (101-187-1 in 18 seasons)
19-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Categories
- 3 other losses don't make a win
- a pimp named huggie bear
- a pimp named Huggy Bear needs to choke this bitch
- Andre Caldwell
- Andre Smith
- Andrew Whitworth
- Anthony Collins
- Antonio Chatman
- Antwan Odom
- are we sure they didn't sign the ex-bench coach for the Yankees
- Arizona Cardinals
- Baghdad Hob
- Baltimore Ravens
- Ben Utecht
- Bengals Heroes
- Bernard Scott
- Bill Simmons
- BlackFinn
- Blackouts
- Bob Bedinghaus
- Bob Bratkowski
- Bobbie Williams
- Brad St. Louis
- Brandon Johnson
- brat called another run and all i got was this stupid t-shirt
- brian kelly
- Brian Leonard
- BTtDwYMTGitMB
- but man can he negotiate a stadium deal
- call another run, brat, I DARE YOU
- Canadians - with their dirty hands and beady eyes
- Carson Palmer
- Cedric Benson
- Chad and TO will combine to form the quad-laser!
- Chad Johnson
- Chase Coffman
- Chicago Bears
- Chinedum Ndukwe
- Chris Henry
- Chuck Klosterman
- Chunk
- Cleveland Browns
- Clinton McDonald
- Coaching
- COAs
- cocaine
- Commitment to Win a Super Bowl - Manifesto Demand #6
- Current Affairs
- Dan Rooney
- Daniel Coats
- David Jones
- DeDe Dorsey
- Defense
- Defensive Backs
- Defensive Line
- Delusional
- Dhani Jones
- Digg
- Domata Peko
- don't tell mom the babysitter's dead
- double chins
- Douche Bags
- draft
- Draft Analysis
- ESPN
- f***
- Faces of the Who Dey Revolution
- Facilities Upgrade- Manifesto Demand #3
- favrefavrefavrefavrefavrefavrefavre
- Feeling better about the Bengals through hatred of the Steelers
- Film
- Food and Drink
- Football Outsiders
- Franchise Tag
- Free Agency
- Free Speech
- Free Speech, America
- Front Office
- Fui Vakapuna
- Gambling
- Game Day
- Gamedays at BlackFinn
- gameplan fail
- Games
- GM
- Hangover Cat
- Hard Knocks
- HippopotaSmith
- Honorary Member of the Who Dey Revolution
- Houston Texans
- how the hell do you lose to Oakland
- i'd blame Katrina on Brat if i could
- Indianapolis Colts
- inevitable letdown games
- Intelligent Player Personnel Decisions - Manifesto Demand #4
- it's disorienting because it's smart
- J.T. O'Sullivan
- Jacksonville Jaguars
- Jason Shirley
- Jeff Berding
- Jeremi Johnson
- Jerome Simpson
- Johnathan Joseph
- Kansas City Chiefs
- Katie Blackburn
- Keith Rivers
- Kevin Huber
- King Laserface
- Laveranues Coles
- Leon Hall
- Leonard The White
- Levi Jones
- Linebackers
- Lost Generation
- Marmalard
- Marvin Lewis
- Matt Jones
- Michael Johnson
- Mike Brown
- Mike Zimmer
- MikeyBoyBrown
- Mmmmm....Denny's
- Mo Egger
- Montgomery Inn
- Morgan Trent
- Mullets
- Music
- no one expects the reform judaism inquisition!
- nose candy
- Offensive and Defensive Line Depth - Manifesto Demand #5
- Offensive Line
- oh my god he spit on his hand
- our offensive coordinator is a sociopath
- Pat Sims
- Paul Brown
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Pittsburgh: Where Bad People Deserve Their Shitty Lives
- Players
- Posts of the Week
- Preseason
- Project Mayhem
- Public Statement of Commitment to Win A Super Bowl - Manifesto Demand #1
- Q&A
- Rashad Jeanty
- Redeeming Lost Souls
- Reds
- Reggie Kelly
- Religion
- Reshuffle and Strengthen Front Office - Manifesto Demand #2
- Rey Maualuga
- Robert Geathers
- Roger Goodell
- Roy Williams
- Salary Cap
- Sam Wyche
- Schedule
- Science
- Scouting
- Season Previews
- Sellout Streak
- Shayne Graham
- Show your support for the revolution through the medium of t-shirts
- Signing Washed Up Players for Cheap to Give D-Bags False Hope
- Soul Cleansing
- Sports
- St. Louis Rams
- Stadium
- Staffing
- Steelers Hack
- Taking the Who Dey Revolution to the People
- Tale Gate
- Television
- The Dark Ages
- things we got wrong
- Ticket Boycott
- toboggans
- tramp stamp
- Travel
- UC
- Washington Generals Cup
- WDR Guest Post of the Week
- Web/Tech
- Weblogs
- wet fart games
- what do you expect tomorrow's thanksgiving
- Why the Bengals Ruined My Childhood
- Willie Anderson
- Woody Paige
Join the Who Dey Revolution
Categories
- 3 other losses don't make a win
- a pimp named huggie bear
- a pimp named Huggy Bear needs to choke this bitch
- Andre Caldwell
- Andre Smith
- Andrew Whitworth
- Anthony Collins
- Antonio Chatman
- Antwan Odom
- are we sure they didn't sign the ex-bench coach for the Yankees
- Arizona Cardinals
- Baghdad Hob
- Baltimore Ravens
- Ben Utecht
- Bengals Heroes
- Bernard Scott
- Bill Simmons
- BlackFinn
- Blackouts
- Bob Bedinghaus
- Bob Bratkowski
- Bobbie Williams
- Brad St. Louis
- Brandon Johnson
- brat called another run and all i got was this stupid t-shirt
- brian kelly
- Brian Leonard
- BTtDwYMTGitMB
- but man can he negotiate a stadium deal
- call another run, brat, I DARE YOU
- Canadians - with their dirty hands and beady eyes
- Carson Palmer
- Cedric Benson
- Chad and TO will combine to form the quad-laser!
- Chad Johnson
- Chase Coffman
- Chicago Bears
- Chinedum Ndukwe
- Chris Henry
- Chuck Klosterman
- Chunk
- Cleveland Browns
- Clinton McDonald
- Coaching
- COAs
- cocaine
- Commitment to Win a Super Bowl - Manifesto Demand #6
- Current Affairs
- Dan Rooney
- Daniel Coats
- David Jones
- DeDe Dorsey
- Defense
- Defensive Backs
- Defensive Line
- Delusional
- Dhani Jones
- Digg
- Domata Peko
- don't tell mom the babysitter's dead
- double chins
- Douche Bags
- draft
- Draft Analysis
- ESPN
- f***
- Faces of the Who Dey Revolution
- Facilities Upgrade- Manifesto Demand #3
- favrefavrefavrefavrefavrefavrefavre
- Feeling better about the Bengals through hatred of the Steelers
- Film
- Food and Drink
- Football Outsiders
- Franchise Tag
- Free Agency
- Free Speech
- Free Speech, America
- Front Office
- Fui Vakapuna
- Gambling
- Game Day
- Gamedays at BlackFinn
- gameplan fail
- Games
- GM
- Hangover Cat
- Hard Knocks
- HippopotaSmith
- Honorary Member of the Who Dey Revolution
- Houston Texans
- how the hell do you lose to Oakland
- i'd blame Katrina on Brat if i could
- Indianapolis Colts
- inevitable letdown games
- Intelligent Player Personnel Decisions - Manifesto Demand #4
- it's disorienting because it's smart
- J.T. O'Sullivan
- Jacksonville Jaguars
- Jason Shirley
- Jeff Berding
- Jeremi Johnson
- Jerome Simpson
- Johnathan Joseph
- Kansas City Chiefs
- Katie Blackburn
- Keith Rivers
- Kevin Huber
- King Laserface
- Laveranues Coles
- Leon Hall
- Leonard The White
- Levi Jones
- Linebackers
- Lost Generation
- Marmalard
- Marvin Lewis
- Matt Jones
- Michael Johnson
- Mike Brown
- Mike Zimmer
- MikeyBoyBrown
- Mmmmm....Denny's
- Mo Egger
- Montgomery Inn
- Morgan Trent
- Mullets
- Music
- no one expects the reform judaism inquisition!
- nose candy
- Offensive and Defensive Line Depth - Manifesto Demand #5
- Offensive Line
- oh my god he spit on his hand
- our offensive coordinator is a sociopath
- Pat Sims
- Paul Brown
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Pittsburgh: Where Bad People Deserve Their Shitty Lives
- Players
- Posts of the Week
- Preseason
- Project Mayhem
- Public Statement of Commitment to Win A Super Bowl - Manifesto Demand #1
- Q&A
- Rashad Jeanty
- Redeeming Lost Souls
- Reds
- Reggie Kelly
- Religion
- Reshuffle and Strengthen Front Office - Manifesto Demand #2
- Rey Maualuga
- Robert Geathers
- Roger Goodell
- Roy Williams
- Salary Cap
- Sam Wyche
- Schedule
- Science
- Scouting
- Season Previews
- Sellout Streak
- Shayne Graham
- Show your support for the revolution through the medium of t-shirts
- Signing Washed Up Players for Cheap to Give D-Bags False Hope
- Soul Cleansing
- Sports
- St. Louis Rams
- Stadium
- Staffing
- Steelers Hack
- Taking the Who Dey Revolution to the People
- Tale Gate
- Television
- The Dark Ages
- things we got wrong
- Ticket Boycott
- toboggans
- tramp stamp
- Travel
- UC
- Washington Generals Cup
- WDR Guest Post of the Week
- Web/Tech
- Weblogs
- wet fart games
- what do you expect tomorrow's thanksgiving
- Why the Bengals Ruined My Childhood
- Willie Anderson
- Woody Paige
Recent Posts
- Establishing the Run = WINS!!!!!!!!!! (Except not really)
- Imagine You Are the Bengals GM (Hahahahaha). What Do You Do?
- If There Is One Person That Is Going To Hell Quicker Than MikeyBoy, It's Drew Rosenhaus.
- More Free Agency Odds & Ends
- 2010 WR Free Agent Class Part III: Summary
- 2010 WR Free Agent Class Part II: Restricted Free Agents (or So You Want Brandon Marshall)
- 2010 WR Free Agent Class Part I: Unrestricted Free Agents
- Shit that bothers me
- Chick on Tebow, Lewis
- Marvin Lewis: Inside Man
Please leave a "Douchebag Warning" whenever Alec Baldwin is going to show his face in one of your articles. I almost puked on my laptop.........
Posted by: Eddie | June 29, 2009 at 12:04 PM