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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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May 14, 2009

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Holy shit. Forget all this silent evidence stuff: Jack Bauer scouts for the Broncos?

Are we sure he doesn't waterboard the assistant coaches to get classified info about potential draft picks?

The Broncos clearly are a franchise looking for every informational edge.

The Bengals do not understand why you would pay someone to scout players. ESPN Insider is only 5 bucks a month.

What does the average scout get paid in todays times?

this is a really excellent piece. I think you're understanding the book just fine...

Richard,
As far as I know, they get paid about 60-70k per year. However the Bengals scouts are paid commission*, based on metrics such as actual criminals scouted, potential criminals scouted, deadbeat douchbags scouted, and chronic underachievers scouted...

*This is completely not true

I was just tryin to figure out how many more scouts we could afford if we didn't have a GM getting bonuses

Just a quick thought. The Hard Knocks thing could be an invaluable means of exposure for WDR. Someone should look into how to best make that happen.

I say we go to training camp with signs and tee shirts we hae to do something we cant just let this one go

I am with richard kraft, lets find something to do.

gentlemen,
rest assured that we've got something in the works... your ideas are welcome, so please share if you have some.

If the Bengals had a real scouting department, Steve Mayne would be returning kicks on Sundays.

"The Bengals do not understand why you would pay someone to scout players. ESPN Insider is only 5 bucks a month."

-LeeRoy Jenkins


Plus, don't they sell NCAA/Big/Pac/etc-Ten football cards at Mikey's local UDF?


...Not to mention the effect of silent-but-deadly evidence (without benefit of the 'he-who-smelt-it' disclaimer)...

I would like to take this time to break that wind- I mean, silence,

with a ¡VIVA!

and to quote an unnamed Comrade (you know who you are) "Hot oil be damned!"

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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