Last Time I Checked Mike Brown Is Still A Doofus.

This may come as a surprise to you all out there, but I'm not satisfied with how things are looking with the Bengals only 4 or so weeks away from training camp. As usual with this squad, the summer could very easily become another quagmire. This isn't WhoDeyRev's definitive preseason outlook. These are just my opinions, and I'm not an expert on anything besides your mom's ladyparts.

The Good

• Carson Palmer - His leadership skills are certainly healthy the way he's been talking lately. Now all we can do is pray Dr. Nick Riviera's holistic healing technique aka, rubbing butter on his elbow, actually holds up. 
• DT Situation - I say that losing Thornton, gaining Tank, and giving a bigger bulk of the snaps to Sims is a formula for good interior line play. 
• LB Situation - Keith Rivers should be playing with a chip on his shoulder. Rey Maualaga is crazy. No one is injured yet, so until that happens they're looking alright.

The Bad

• Mike Brown - Still incompetent. Pay our draft picks and get them into camp. It isn't rocket science. The more practice they have before the season starts, the better the Bengals will be.
• HippopataSmith - The chance of a holdout is holding steady at about 99.9%. So that means the big guy will be ready by approximately 2010. Fantastic.
• Chad - If he doesn't get his timing down with Carson he's going to suck, again.
• Nickel Corner - David Jones BRINGS THE PHYSICALITY, and not much else. Morgan Trent was not a bright spot on a bad Michigan defense last year. Hob said the Bengals are intrigued with him like he's a riddle or something. Let's just say they are a little thin here.
• Bob Bratkowski - Let's hope that when he "threw out the playbook" after last year he actually drew up another one. This man has got Head Coach written all over him. 

   

Comments

[CurseofBoJackson]

I agree with your assessment of the bad, wholeheartedly, however, lets add RB to the list of positives, a healthy (knock on wood), relatively young running back with a slew of decent backup contenders. Perhaps you left it out due to uncertainty w/ O-line? Understandable, but any guy that can come in and run as well as he did last year with the London Sillynannies blocking for him gets my vote.

[Brian]

i would add the O-Line and the RB situation to the list of the bad. The O-Line is one or two injuries away from being thin, and let's face it, almost no one we have tapped to become starters has enough experience to make me comfortable. we should have spent more effort and money here in the off season, since it was the most pressing need. and for RB, we have a guy who has a laundry list of close-but-no cigar seasons, and has never lived up to his potential. plus, between Scott and Benson, there is a history of both on and off field problems. there is potential in the O-Line and at RB, but its going to require some commitment from the players and inspiration from the coaching staff. *shiver*

this team is like a science experiment. it will work perfectly in a vacuum, but with so many "what if's" i think it could easily fall apart. hope they prove me wrong.

[BengalAnthony13]

Sly --

I agree with your points especially about the DT's and the DB's. The DT rotation has looked better than it has for quite some time. I would have liked to see the Bengals nab Rod Hood to complete their active offseason, but the Browns grabbed him. There are some other DB's that are or will be out there. The only way the CB's will be good this year is if the Bengals can get good safety play from Ndukwe, Roy W., Crocker and company, as well as being able to get a pass rush. Pressuring the QB makes all DB's look good. That being said, they might yet even get Greg Ellis from the Cowboys as they are rumored to be interested in him. That wouldn't be a bad pick up.

However, I think you underestimate the LB situation. It is quite a bit better than "alright". You've got 4 or 5 guys that can start in the NFL on the current roster: Keith, Rey, Dhani, Rashad Jeanty (though I'm not much of a Jeanty fan), and possibly both Brandon and Michael Johnson if they decide to move him there for significant time. Remember 2006 and 2007? Guys like Eric Schlegel, Leonard Marshall, Landon Johnson and Caleb Miller roamed the field--this is MUCH better.
We also don't know for sure about Andre. It looks like an ugly situation, but believe it or not, they have a plan. It's actually smart that they have him at RT right now. If he holds out, there's Anthony Collins waiting to play, if Andre shows up, he plays. It's always a bummer when a first round pick holds out, and I agree that the Bengals have a wretched track record in this area, but let it play out first before you start saying you're "99.9% sure" that he's going to hold out AND not be effective in 2009. That's ridiculously presumptive. RT is a much easier transition for a rookie O-Lineman and he should be fine. Overall, I usually don't agree with your articles, Sly, and at first glance I felt the same about this one. I read it again and you had some legit points.

[Major Payne]

The health issue concerns me more than anything on the Bad list. For two years Hobson has been gushing over the high quality of the off-season conditioning program. And for two years the Bengals have been picking up players off the street in October because the IR list has gotten fatter than Kirstie Alley.

It was butter that Carson was rubbing on his elbow? I read on a blog somewhere that some Greek doctor told him to put Windex on it.

[Gambling Fool]

Why are so many people bitching about health? Are you the same people that fret about rain three weeks out?

yeah if people get hurt it will suck, same for any team, same for life.

I am worried there is a huge fireball heading toward the planet right now.

[Sweetness D]

Gambling Fool,

A huge fireball heading toward the planet would suck too. And I hate rain.

Hey, if you don't like to content on this site then go home. And take your "I Heart Mike Brown" t-shirt with you.

[BengalAnthony13]

That's weird--I wore my "I heart Mikey" t-shirt to work today. It's casual Wednesday. It depicts Mikey's face surrounded by a heart and him giving two giant thumbs up. After all, those of us who don't wholeheartedly agree with ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING the authors publish on this site are avid Mike Brown supporters by default, right? Give me a break..

[Mhlit1980]

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ys-forbeslosingteams052509&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Can someone read this and tell me how or why the Bengals are not listed. Maybe im not reading right.

[me]

Sweetness, you sir are an ass. I think he was referring to the commenter, if you fail to read the above maybe you should go home.

Nice original line about Mike Brown. Just because he can afford a shirt doesn't mean you need to get jealous.

[J M]

I'm worried that:

We drafted a career left tackle and we're playing him at right.

We drafted a career middle linebacker and we're playing him outside.

We drafted a career defemsive end and we're trying him at linebacker.

What's next? Coffman is tried out at center and Luigs is lined up as tight end.

The scariest thing of all is the offensive line. Inexperience and people playing in new positions and roles.

Let's pray Bobbie Williams makes it through the season.

The defensive side seems at least on paper to have some talent. But if this line can't protect or open holes the defense isn't good enough.

I just remember the reason we couldn't keep Steinbach was due to Willie, Levi, and Justin's contracts coming up.

Three years later and we have none of them.

OUCH!

[Scott Ricketts]

Health is always a factor with the Bengals because we have no depth. Unlike teams like the Pats and, God help me, the Steelers, when our starters get injured we're scouting Xavier and Elder games for a replacement. No matter how good the off season conditioning is (and I don't believe for a minute that it will do any good), we need competent second string guys and we never have them.

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