A loyal WDR reader passed on some information which we had WDR's attorneys analyze, and the conclusion is clear. The Judicial Branch of Ohio has ruled the Bengals suck.
Ohio 12th District Court of Appeals Judge, Hon. William W. Young recently penned an opinion in a divorce case which was written to divide the forlorne lover's personal possessions. The couple's Bengals tickets were given to the wife, because as Judge Young wrote, "Should he wish to attend a game, despite the Bengals' record, appellant has sufficient resources in order to purchase tickets to a game." 2009 - Ohio - 1164 (Emphasis mine). Note, I have not included the parties names, since this is a divorce, and the decision discusses personal matters. For those of you attorney types out there who want to read the whole decision, the case number is DR07-040456.
Judge Young's declaration that the Bengals sucked was for a unanimous Court, joined by Judge Walsh and Judge Ringland. While WDR supports the learned Judge's declaration, there is a clear gap is legal reasoning.
The Court cites, Heer v. Heer Franklin App No. 84AP-1144, to make the decision about which party receives the Bengals tickets; however the holding in Heer is clearly distinguishable from the present case. Heer centered around a dispute about Ohio State Buckeye football tickets, which while on its face appears similar to Cincinnati Bengals Tickets, are in fact quite dissimilar. While both teams play football, one team is considered among the elite teams in the country, while the other is a national laughing stock. One team makes it clear they are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best football team in America, including but not limited to, cash in an envelope for their Quarterback. The other team, well you know about the other team. We discuss the failures of the other team every day.
Despite the logical mistake in the Court's analysis, WDR would like like to salute the wise Judges of the 12th Circuit Court of Appeals for officially declaring what it patently obvious, the Bengals are simply not a good football team, and they will not be a good football team until Mike Brown relinquishes control.