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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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April 28, 2009


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Ray Ray will wear Hines' head on a ceremonial necklace. Yo Hines... He is watching you right now....

sorry, Rey Rey.... not that feloneous fuck in Baltimore with the alternate spelling.

Who is 'Himes'... ah, spell check, without you we'd look so foolish. This is my favorite pick since Carson.. I hope someone shows him the clip of Rivers getting clocked, please please please rip his head off!

Himes is an accepted and often preferred alternate spelling of "the cesspool of a man we all want to see eviscerated by a spoon."

It wasn't a typo.

At least all the good ticket buying fans will get to see a show on the sidelines, the Gals will finally get the lovin they deserve, that show just might the tickets worth it.

NEWS FLASH: Front row prices just doubled.

I think we need to create a nickname for him too...

Rey J seems pretty form fitting, doesn't it

As far as Himes Ward is concerned, Rey's nickname might as well be "Shiva: Destroyer of Worlds". Become Death, Rey Rey. Become Death.

yo Himes, what's your favorite food to eat thru a straw????

I was privileged to be able to watch Rey weekly as I live on the west coast. This guy is a freak. I actually wanted the Bengals to draft him at #6 and could NOT believe he was sitting there at #38. Jon Gruden was on the air and predicted that Rey would be the defensive rookie of the year--I agree. this guy changes games. Go to the USC vs. OSU game tape. Go to every major game the trojans played and he makes an impact. It's laughable to hear the analysts say that he "struggles in space and coverage". First of all, how much cover skills do you need your MLB to have, really? Secondly, watch the tape--the guy makes big INTs and pass breakups, and beyond that, he absolutely drills people. Sandwich him in the middle of two disciplined players like Rivers and Dhani and he'll flourish. The only foreseeable problem with Rey is not if he'll be a good player, but if the Bengals will be able to retain him when his rookie contract is up because he'll be owed a lot of money for performing so well.

please please no more j mack, p dub, rey j type names. hit the english-samoan dictionary online.

the entry for 'decapitate' is pretty short, sweet, simple. it mentions that it's only used in cursing which is sick. could definitely be a chant or incorporated into something ala the all blacks rugby team in new zealand.

check out the site, cruise for some options.

yeah so, 'punish' is a little complicated, but 'punishment' is a sweet one. 'murder' is also a bit involved, but 'murderous' is right on.

punishment - sala
murderous - totolima

have to ask a samoan if the adjective comes before or after the noun, but 'sala totolima' would be a hell of a gladiator type chant.

decapitate - uto (for the vulgar variety of decapitation)

chief - ali'i (the apostrophe is a glutteral stop which i'm not sure we'd hit all that well), but 'rey ali'i' (pronouched 'ray alee-ee') would also be a good one

and the new name for himmey could be 'ilo'. check out the site for a listing of the english translation. (you´ll have to play a scavenger hunt under the letter 'm')...

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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