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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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April 24, 2009

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Now just add Andre the Lard and we'll have 4 floppy T's on offense. Hank Stram wanted to matriculate the ball down the field, Mikey wants to jiggle to the 50 yard line then pooch punt.

so our measure should be if other teams signed them then i guess it would have been worth it to have signed them as well. great tip. that'll fill out our roster with exactly zero players. for real you all come off as a bunch of snot-nosed east-siders. you could say that any player not drafted #1 was a player that somebody passed on. You could say that a player drafter lower than #31 was a player that all the other teams in the league passed on. you have no idea what teams were interested in jeremi jonhson's services. nor do you have any idea that other teams weren't interested in chris henry or any of the other players you listed or alluded to. in jeremi and henry's cases, maybe they (gasp) wanted and preferred to play for the bengals. maybe there's something for both the player and the team to have guys familiar with the system and each other. if the money's equal, or even if it's not, it's not unreasonable to believe they'd want to play where they played before. all in all, this is an offseason far from the depths of the abyss you all assumed it would be. hands down there should have been an effort to get a veteran center and maybe an offensive lineman in here. but except for you weak excuses that we got people floundering for any chance to make a team, here's what we did get done:

the subtractions:

t.j. - didn't want to be here, no matter what he said. made the smart move by not franchising him for a boat-load of cash.

stacy andrews - didn't want to be here, should have cut our losses a long time ago, but still dodged the bullet from a ridiculous amount of money on a guy coming back from an injury. most of you all despised him, so i don't know where the, "we've lost a starting tackle and done nothing about it" whine comes from.

the renewals:

cedric benson - did any of you all really want us to drop cash on any of the other verteran backs out there when you know impact players can be found all along the draft. who gives a shit if he was down and out and the bengals had interest or even the only interest. he came in and played better than average. a solid plus to have for the full year next year.

shayne grahm - i hear you on whether or not he's top notch. kickers can be had anywhere. but at the end of the day, the guy is reliable for what you know he can do, and i argue that it's the smartest use of the franchise tag this club has done in a while. it's not for a ton of cash and who else would you have used it on (i understand you don't have to use it).

cris crocker and other 2nd tier players - you can't keep having a revolving door of rookies and after-camp replacements. the defense was markedly better last year (quit crying about a schedule and if they do well this year it's because of the schedule - every team benefits from weaker schedules when they play poorly. that's part of the deal and we'll take it any day.) these guys feel comfortable here and i'm looking forward to continued improvements.

the additions:

coles - t.j. didn't want to be here as covered. who cares if we spent a couple of top picks on receivers last year, we need a vet and a reliable guy to replace housh and this is adequate. it's not my favorite move because we all loved t.j., but it's certainly no abyss.

tank johnson - how can you not be at least remotely interested in this. you keep bitching for line depth, give the guy a shot. none of us expected to see anything of this level of talent come in for that position, so you count it as a plus and see how it goes.

gary russell - if you even stop for a minute to ask a shittsburgh fan, they'll say this is huge. solid, different, but complimentary. provides competition and most definitely means the end of at least chris perry and probably watson. again, who saw it coming, has to be seen as an improvement. this is one you haven't commented on, so i take it that even to you it's legit.

jeremi johnson - if the reports are accurate, then why the hell not. if he's in shape, hands down the best answer to this mess which was clearly an absent gaping hole last year. many of you were calling for us to draft a fullback high. this is by far the better option with a guy that knows the system, players, coaches, and produced.

the "healed":

this is a list of players that should at least provide some optimism for next year's improvement. injuries will happen, they seem to happen to the bengals, but we might just get less and handle better this year than last year:

carson palmer
keith rivers
levi jones
ben utecht
chris henry (healed from the inside)

+ patched up whitworth, odom, geathers, ndukwe, white, joseph, chaddy

they dropped the ball on not getting a center in here. you've got to give credit to at least some of these other moves, and due to an easy schedule or not (again that's part of the deal), if you understand football, you'll have reason to be optimistic about an improved club this year.

Mr. Votasi, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this blog is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Wow votasi. You're right. The players listed are standouts and were probably well sought after by most NFL teams. Caleb Miller, in fact, is holding out and turning down offers to play for other teams on the mere hope that he can return to the Bengals.

chase f - there's no need to capitalize god. it's a myth and an opiate for your wretched and misinformed being. keep working on those literacy classes and maybe you'll pick up a few points yourself. the general overall themes mentioned above are that this website makes ludicrous claims that it has no evidence to back up (no other teams wanted the players we signed, etc.), perhaps some of our players actually signed with us because they preferred to be on a team they were familiar with and perhaps the organization was comfortable signing players they were familiar with too, and that on the whole, this offseason wasn't as horrid as the people on this site would like you to believe. except for the unresolved need at center, there's a lot to be optimistic about and only a fool who didn't understand football would be blindly opposed to acknowledging the team is certainly no worse than it was last year. even breaking it down for you like a small child will probably fall short, so here's wishing you better luck collecting your awarded points on some madden fantasy season and talking to your god while you hit your knees every night and once for a quickie in the morning.

I heard that Johnson's signing bonus included $250,000 in Graeters and Skyline gift cards.....

Now there's a surprise - this Bengals supporter is also an atheist/agnostic. Explains the upbeat, commiserating attitude.

If you don't like it, leave, douche.

Tankman:

So you think the reason why Jeremi Johnson was not signed by another team is "perhaps, he preferred playing with the Bengals?" You think the reason why NO OTHER NFL TEAM signed Chris Henry was because HE was waiting it out because he was familiar with the team? You think the Bengals waited all offseason knowing they needed a fullback, and then decided 2 days before the draft...F%$# It, lets just bring back the guy we cut because he ate himself out of the league?

If this is all true, then I have some great property in California to sell you. It is not developed yet, but I am telling you, the housing market never drops and once the development hits this land...easy money.

Sweet, let's bring back Mr. Fat, Dumb and Stupid to try and make this team again where he couldn't make it before when he was last with us. In typical MFB and ML fashion. Nothing changes with the Bengals, bring back the Clowns again to see if they will be better. I am betting, John Thornton is right around the corner. What a joke!

I love reading this blog, even if it hurts sometimes

:)

Two Mike Brown hires are posting tonight. Good to see we have some LSD using teens as fans to keep hope alive.

I've got it! They brought back fat ass Jeremi Johnson so when we draft Andre the Hutt Smith he doesn't look so freaking fat. Next to the rest of our players Smith looks fat and out of shape - but put him next to Jeremi Johnson and he just looks rather plump. It all makes sense now.

Jeremi Johnson was one of the best FBs we've had ever, despite his weight problems he still performed on a very high level, I am ecstatic

Moooooooooooooooooobs!

really?

... REALLY?

tab perry actually signed with the dolphins for more $$ than we offered him. fat load of good it did him though

I wanna see the JJ who used to deliver bone crushing blocks in the running game.


As for the list in the initial post, I have an addition to make.

Darryl Blackstock

what about all the playoff type teams (or have been recently) that take the players the bengals don't want or passed on.

madieu williams
kevin kasevaharn
willie anderson
kelly washington
tory james
landon johnson
t.j. houshmandzadeh
stacy andrews

then you've got other dismal teams that take bengals retreads too:

justin smith
rudi johnson
tab perry
....has deltha or dexter signed anywhere yet?

look, you make these weak-ass arguments that whoever we get must have had no other options. you can piss and moan and say that every player that we took in the draft was a player that at least 5 other teams passed on. of course every player after andre smith can be labeled a player the lowly bengals passed on, so why would you want him on your team. get over yourselves and focus on doing one thing: obstructing mike brown's profit flow. he's a business owner and understands only profit. you can celebrate the team by listening to the radio or reading in the papers and still limit his rake. and there's a lot to celebrate in this draft and really in this offseason. (goodbye to housh is not one of them)

@all you skirts know what's up with 213

Add Glenn Holt(Minnesota) to the first list. You can also add Ryan Fitzpatrick(Buffalo) and Corey Mays(KC) to the second list.

As of right now, neither Deltha or D-Jax have been signed.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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