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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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April 03, 2009

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So Tank Johnson is intrigued by the Bungholes? Sh*t dude get in line with the rest of us! GeoffyBoy must have fallen off Mikey's lap when Tank dropped that one. Every notice how often guys like Geoffy and Mikey and Marvey like to quote other exec's in the AFC North, like they've accepted the fact that the Bungs are their little benatchez? Oh and, can anyone point to a single instance where one of those exec's have ever quoted MikeyBoy in return?...... I mean except when he asks "Are those free?" at the Kroger sample tables?

BTW... any word yet on the when the fry cooks at Frisch's will be medically cleared to return to work? I hear Andre the Hut donated all his cole slaws to Children's hospital at least...

Don't be surprised if Pacman shows up for an interview as well.

Have we signed Donte Stallworth yet?

i think vick and burress are going to be enjoying a couple cheese coneys compliments of mike brown sometime very soon.

and since the giants are now in the market, can we ship them chad for a couple picks. i mean, we already have 27 picks in this draft. why not fill out the practice squad with rookies?

The one thing this post made me realize (well, remember) is that Frisch's is awesome. Actually, there is another thing--I don't think the #6 is going to help us in the way we need it. I don't think that either Jason Smith or Monroe will be there, Oher doesn't really help with the run, and Andre Smith doesn't seem to have his head on straight.

I think that if neither of the first two guys I listed are there they might have to go with Oher, because if they don't it'll be someone like Beanie Wells (who I like but we'd ruin him behind our crappy line) or Crabtree (who I could almost live with if they get rid of Chad, but not really).

"but order was restored once Smith boarded the plane back to Alabama".

I think it's much more likely that Mike Brown was at the Greyhound station waving goodbye to his future tackle than CVG. I can see Andre Smith accepting a collect call from the Bengals war room in a few weeks.

I think Hob is one of the biggest journalistic hacks I've ever seen in a steady job, but he's not too off the mark here in insinuating that Andre Smith's stock began to rise again. It's not as high as it once was, but after his meltdown teams went and looked at tape. And the tape showed a very dominant tackle, which teams have been finding difficult to ignore. Smith has question marks, but at #6 (if we believe that the top two OTs are gone), now that Tank Johnson eliminates the B.J. Raji probability, Smith might be the safest/smartest pick on the board.

Following my exploration, thousands of people in the world get the loan from good creditors. So, there's good chances to receive a college loan in every country.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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