IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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Late breaking news out of Dallas, where All-Pro safety Roy Williams is scheduled to visit the Bengals later this week. Williams went to his first four pro bowls (out of five) under Bengals defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer when the two were in Dallas.
Stay tuned.
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
this gives me wood.
Posted by: Brian | March 18, 2009 at 10:47 PM
The Bengals will do what they do best: fly him in coach class, Yellow Cab from the airport and make him pay for lunch.
Posted by: KTRB | March 18, 2009 at 11:32 PM
Like he'll sign. Reminds me of a certain DT who ended up in Oakland...
Posted by: BenzooDeClown | March 18, 2009 at 11:43 PM
I'm surprised people are actually getting excited about the possibility of, ahem, horse-collaring this guy into the Cincinnati "fold." Like Dexter Jackson (you know, he was a Super Bowl MVP, though how could you forget with Hob reminding you all the time?), we're looking at a guy who has seen his pro bowl days come and go. There's a reason Dallas cut him.
Posted by: Mockenrue | March 19, 2009 at 01:19 AM
Or another one of Hob's favorites, "Don't we already have that guy in Marvin White?"
Posted by: TY | March 19, 2009 at 03:45 AM
KTRB:
I understand flying in Assistant Coach Class is even more cost effective. --MB
Posted by: Leo deTrotskyo | March 19, 2009 at 08:39 AM
That would be cool, but its a cover for what we really need that mikey knows he already [passed up
Posted by: K. Phelps | March 19, 2009 at 10:19 AM
Mockenrue-
I couldnt agree more, all Roy Williams is,is a former Pro-bowl Safety who can't cover (sounds similar to Dexter Jackson).
If we do sign him, he will bring leadership and the physicality at the safety position that we have lacked over the years; however, I am still high on Ndukwe, and White!
Posted by: Redunk | March 19, 2009 at 10:59 AM
Maybe they could hire Roy as a goon much like the Hanson brothers in slapshot. Only be on the field a handful of plays per game but to just cheapshot players like Hines Ward or Santonio Holmes. I would pay for that.
Posted by: JMo | March 19, 2009 at 03:06 PM
Roy Williams should be signed as a goon like the Hanson brothers in slapshot.
Let him play a handful of plays just to cheapshot Hines Ward and Fat Ben. I would pay for that.
Posted by: JMo | March 19, 2009 at 03:07 PM
If they signed him to play linebacker I'd think it'd be a good move. But we're better off just sticking with what we have now at safety. His coverage skills are Kaesviharn-level.
Posted by: themask | March 19, 2009 at 03:55 PM
how about mckenzie instead of williams. i mean david jones is physical as hell so maybe just stick with what we have. im hearing shanye gayrham is going to play a couple postions anyways.
lowest cap 2010! take that steelers
Posted by: johnnyhollywood | March 19, 2009 at 09:36 PM
one foot in, one foot out, one foot in and shake it all about, you do the hokey pokey and spin yourself around and that is what it's all about. if he signs here i might be impressed. don't bet on it.
Posted by: TigerJ@w | March 20, 2009 at 03:12 AM