IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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So the Bengals are in the process of redesigning their propaganda machine Bengals.com. Check out the newly designed page on the Bengals Front Office.
Yes, the URL is actually: http://www.bengals.com/team/FrontOffice.asp
Full screenshot below the jump.
(Thanks to TampaBrock for alerting WDR to this fortunate problem)
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
Here is the link for the front office: http://www.bengals.com/team/staff-directory.html.
It includes these two sections. Which are actual scouts and which are in the Brown family?
Randy
ADMINISTRATION
Mike Brown President
Pete Brown Senior Vice President - Player Personnel
Katie Blackburn Executive Vice President
Paul Brown Vice President - Player Personnel
John Sawyer Vice President
Troy Blackburn Vice President
Jan Sutton Administration Assistant
PLAYER PERSONNEL
Jim Lippincott Director of Football Operations
Duke Tobin Director of Player Personnel
Greg Seamon Scout
Earl Biederman, John Cooper, Bill Tobin Scouting Consultants
Debbie LaRocco Personnel Assistant
Posted by: Randy | March 27, 2009 at 09:16 AM
Hahaha, you know, this makes my day. Didn't take much I know, but the freaking ref just chillen like that reminds me of the "no good" movement after a FG or PAT. This picture is worth 18 seasons... the Bengals front office tries for it... and IT'S NO GOOD!!
Posted by: Pete | March 27, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Wow...is that the same John Cooper who coached the Bucks? If so that makes me feel even less confident in our ability to scout games
Posted by: Danimal | March 27, 2009 at 12:08 PM
shit, i was thinking players and wrote games...lol. sorry for the double stamp
Posted by: Danimal | March 27, 2009 at 12:09 PM
I used to intern for the Bengals during the off-season and training camp and met 80% of the staff members mentioned above. Nothing personal, but besides the fact that half of their administration is family to Mike Brown, 75% of their player personnel 'department' (if you can even call it a department) is greater than 60 years old! OY VAY! Mr. Biederman for example doesnt even reside in the Cincinnati area and attends less than 50% of their off-season activities. The man is nice as can be; however, he is way to old to be scouting for an NFL franchise. Plus half the scouts can't even relate to this generation of players playing in the league today!
Posted by: Rorschach | March 27, 2009 at 02:23 PM
http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80f7a476&template=without-video-with-comments&confirm=true
How is this related?
Because the Bengals fail at everything.
Posted by: Mockenrue | March 28, 2009 at 12:54 AM
Whats even more ridiculous is that the Bengals had Tahi! They signed him as an undrafted free agent and let him go. They chose to stick with one fullback that year in Jeremi Johnson. Chalk up another one Mikey!
Posted by: Jordan | March 28, 2009 at 01:29 AM
Steve Carell... is that you?
Posted by: Ashley | March 28, 2009 at 01:34 PM
The whole Tahi thing was another Mikey/Bengal con. They pretended to make a legitimate offer to try to fool all the jersey wearing Bengal fans that they were now trying to win hoping that they would renew their season tickets. Mikey knew damn well that his half-assed offer would easily be met by the Vikings thus not really risking any money.
Posted by: PAl | March 30, 2009 at 12:33 PM