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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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I understand that Benson has baggage, but I don't get the reference to the Ohio River. Must be Monday morning.

@ Leo de Trotskyo

I agree. What does that even mean? At least we signed a RB that we know can give Troy P. a concussion and seems to not be injury prone. One less question mark for a team full of them.


Benson was arrested twice for boating-related incidents, prompting the Bears to cut him (and thus allowing the Bungles to overpay him this offseason). People boat on the ohio river, and Bengals get arrested there (see Steinbach, Eric). Therefore it's just a matter of time before a drunken Ced Benson is pissing off his boat and chucking bottles of Makers Mark at passing boats.


Thanks for the clarification. I thought they were just garden-variety DUIs (which are bad enough, no question about it), not boat-related.

How reliable is this source? I've never even heard of this guy. He sounds a little on the douche side. And why would you ask a Cleveland Browns fan what he thought of the Bengals and their off-season? Weak.

1. I like Benson, I really do think he can make an impact at RB providing he has a good O-Line infront of him.
2. More talent at WR? Hell No! That is our sturdiest position right now, I like Crabtree and I think he is going to be a fantastic receiver, and we could have taken him if the Bengals hadn't put themselves in this O-Line rut.
3. O-Line is a higher priority than D-Line at the moment. A team cannot function without an O-Line, and Palmer will just continue to get hurt if we don't improve. People always call him injury prone, but I think he's one of the toughest guys the NFL has ever seen, he just keeps taking a beating and finally gets hurt after weeks and weeks of relentless sacking and horrible O-Linemanship

K. Phelps, you just described David Klingler.

The Bengals drafted three WRs last year, including second and third round picks. If they are weak at WR, then it just proves their inability to draft.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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