WhoDeyRevolution

Mike Brown and The Banks

Mike Brown made a surprise appearance yesterday at The Banks site as local and state officials were on hand for a tour of the project.

According to the stadium deal the Bengals signed with the county, the team has refusal rights to what can go to the right or left of PBS, up to certain distances.  It sounds like Brown is on board with the project, which can only stand to make his product better (anything is better than piles of dirt and a failing museum).  But, you never know what secret agenda he has hiding under that fedora. 

Check out the story and video from WLWT.  (Love when frosh House Rep. Steve Driehaus goes over to shake Mike Brown's hand.  I think Mike would have been more comfortable at a WDR Dance Party with Brosef Stalin on the microphone). 

Bengals Bad Lib - Hobson Responds to Fan Email

This week's Bad Lib is around turd-polishing expert Baghdad Hob and his dis-logic of logical Bengal fan ideas. 

#1 - Negative adjective
#2, #3 - negative adjective (same one for both)
#4 - Low performing current Bengal
#5 - Low performing current Bengal
#6 - Positive adjective
#7 - Negative adjective
#8 - Positive adjective
#9 - Body Part
#10 - Noun

Items We Wish Were for Sale at the Bengals Pro Shop

Let's face facts, WDR doesn't want you to keep giving Mike Brown money.  Thus all Bengals jersey, t-shirt, hat, and fuzzy slipper purchases should be strictly off limits.  However, if the Bengals had any of the following items for sale, I'm pretty sure we'd lift the embargo...

 

Mike Brown Punching Bag.
 
Bengals Trivia Game (1991-2008 edition)
- You win when your team makes it to "a competitive level of play."
- Questions like:
* How many ex-Bengals from the Mike Brown Era have Super Bowl rings?  (allow +/- 2) 
* Who did the Bengals draft in 1999 instead of trading the pick to New Orleans for their entire draft? 
* What hit song did Mike Brown reference after proudly announcing the pick of Ki-Jana Carter? 
* How many teams in MLB, the NHL, the NBA, and the NFL have a worse winning percentage than the Mike Brown Bengals?
* Mike Brown haggles over the cost of what bakery item?
* The Bengals passed on which statistical stud running back when they drafted Chris Perry?

 

Bengals Drinking Game.
Take a drink after...
* Every dropped pass
* Every red-zone appearance that doesn't end in points
* Every opponent rush for five yards or more

Chug your drink when...
* The Bratkowski offense runs the old "run-run-pass-punt" three and out.
* A key bengal gets injured because of the other teams' tough play.
* You fantasize about cheering for a good team.

 

Chris Henry jersey with holster, wrapped in Mikey Boy's redeemer quotes

 

Bengals stadium music on CD featuring: 1973's Photograph by Ringo Starr (played during the Cincinnati Bell Wireless phone promos), 1965's Hang on Sloopy by The McCoys (played after the third quarter), 1988's Welcome to the Jungle by Guns 'N Roses (played at random), 1956's I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash (played during first-down measurement), 1983's Bang the Drum All Day by Todd Rundgren (played after touchdowns), 2004's Vertigo by U2 (played at random - typically at the beginning of a game), 1975's That's the Way I Like It by KC and The Sunshine Band (played after field goals), 1999's Stop the Rock by Apollo 440 (played on the occasional kickoff), 2003's Seven Nation Army by White Stripes (played at random and ad nauseum), and zero songs that have been released in the past four years. 

 

Night and Day

In a recent article by the Enquirer's Joe Reedy, it's clear to see why the Bengals are the Bengals, and the Colts are perennially in the playoffs.

The article discusses how the popular spread formation in college football makes evaluating talent that transfers to NFL success more challenging. 

Check out this quote from Bob Bratkowski:

"It has affected us in a number of ways," Bengals offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski said. "... It has made this year's evaluations a little harder. Some teams don't do anything traditional on offense, and that makes it harder to evaluate than, say, an Ohio State."

This doesn't even count the fact that the Bengals are drastically short-handed to begin with in terms of scouting and evaluating players.

Now, check out the architect of four Super Bowl teams in Buffalo and current Colts GM Bill Polian:

Mike Brown Sucks - Draft Expert Edition

I recently talked about the upcoming NFL Draft with Luke Chandler, who is the president of New Era Scouting. 

1.  In last week's MMQB, Peter King wrotre that teams are warming to Michael Oher.  He said that teams are now beginning to feel that Oher will be able to handle the money that goes along with being a top draft pick and that he won't lose his desire to be great.  Assuming Jason Smith and Eugune Monroe by the time the Bengals are on the clock at six, is Michael Oher now a viable option?

It almost makes too much sense, which is why I feel that the Bengals will do something silly here like draft Andre Smith and give him more money than the No. 1 overall pick. Oher is such an amazing talent and I think he'd give the Bengals the kind of pass blocking left tackle they need...which is why they draft the better run blocker (Smith), and probably drop Carson Palmer sixty times a game now.

2.  For whatever reason, local media has been hyping up the Bengals offseason recently.  As the story goes, multiple (as many as 10) people around the league commented Marvin on how much the team had improved.  This despite the fact that the only changes of note in personnel have been TJ and Stacy Andrews left while Lav Coles came aboard.  What have you thought about the Bengals offseason thus far?

I liked what they did, outside of swapping Coles for Houshmanzadeh.  They are the same age, but T.J. has less tread on his tires.  I don't know if T.J. really had any desire to come back, but if the money was a wash, why not bring him back?  I get confused with these kinds of decisions in Cincy.  With their in house moves, I loved bringing back Crocker.  As someone who has watched his career path, I can say I'm happy he's getting what looks like a legit shot to start for the Bengals.  He's always been blocked by poor coaching regimes from developing.  I looked at the Benson signing as something that's just a huge mistake.  That guy has way too much baggage, and I don't trust him playing in a town so close to the Ohio River. 

Mike Brown - Doomed to Repeat Himself: Instant Replay is El Chupacabra!

There has always been an argument among coaches, players, friends, family, and even owners as to whether instant replay is an accurate measurement of what actually occurred in real time.  The human eye, unfortunately, is limited in its actual perception of real life.  The use of instant replay and the use of technology has, within a reasonable degree of certainty, revolutionized the sporting world - to wit; football.  I by no means pray for technology to be a substitution for human officials, however, instant replay has significantly reduced the amount of human error made on the field and can be seen in the 21st century as a legitimate tool to assist in correcting or upholding decisions made on the field of play.

In March of 2000 a group of seven owners gathered in Palm Beach, Florida at the luxurious Breakers hotel to discuss this very issue - should instant replay continue to be used in the NFL?  One of these owners was none other than Mikey Boy Brown, who obviously could not resist a weekend in the sun at a five-star hotel that he could deem as a business expense and thus a right off from his years-end taxes.  When the Manhattans and Miami Vices were drank and the caviar consumed the owners came to a 6-1 decision in favor of continuing to utilize instant replay in the NFL.  This conference further netted a number of memorable quotes by Mike Brown who was the sole defector of the group.

No Explanation Needed

So the Bengals are in the process of redesigning their propaganda machine Bengals.com.  Check out the newly designed page on the Bengals Front Office.

Yes, the URL is actually: http://www.bengals.com/team/FrontOffice.asp

Full screenshot below the jump.

(Thanks to TampaBrock for alerting WDR to this fortunate problem)

Another Glaring Difference Between The Reds And Brownengals

The results on the field haven't been good for the Reds the last 10 years, but at least Castellini and Co. are doing everything they can to keep their fans happy. From C Trent's spot comes the news that the Reds are bringing back $5 tickets, but more importantly, A FREAKING DOLLAR MENU!!! I have had dreams, very pleasing ones, where dollar hot dogs are involved. I think the only thing sold at Paul Brown for a dollar is extra jalapenos for the nachos.

The Reds are like the bizzaro Bengals. Things get bad in the economy, the Reds try to assuage their fans with cost friendly maneuvers. The Bengals, on the other hand, are spending more money on lawyers to battle it out in court with their paying customers than they do on scouting and front office personnel combined. The Reds plan for the future looks promising at the moment. That is of course as long as Dusty doesn't bring Patterson back to keep the basepaths unclogged. The Bengals vision for the future involves franchising kickers, signing washed up veterans and rooting for the Steelers in the playoffs. 

Go Reds.

Bengals Scare Tactics Won't Work

The Bengals recently sent a letter to all Season Ticket holders that missed the deadline to renew their tickets for next year.  The Bengals really showcased their customer service in this letter, employing an incredibly generic and impersonal tone, having the "Bengals Ticket Office" sign the letter instead of an actual person and using inflated scare tactics.

Oh, and as you can tell, the Bengals DON'T TAKE AMERICAN EXPRESS!  I thought the Bengals were an NFL Franchise, not a mom and pop sandwich shop.  Does any of this surprise anyone anymore?

But what really stuck out to WDR was the Bengals insistence that: "a waiting list for season tickets was started three seasons ago and it continues to grow."  WDR has heard from hundreds of frustrated Bengals fans who are canceling their season tickets so we were immediately suspicious that this list is actually growing.  So we did what any bloggers would do and took a nap.  After that, we started digging.

WDR was told by sources inside the Bengals that they are not expecting to have a waiting list by the time the season started.  Technically because they are still handing cancellations and relocations, anyone who wants NEW season tickets will technically be on a waiting list.  But this source has told WDR that the rate of cancellations compared to new requests will mean that the team will be back to selling individual game tickets and likely package tickets this season.

WDR has also learned that the Bengals Ticket Office recently hired three more ticket salesman in preperation for having to handle single game and package sales.  If the team was confident they could sell the majority of the seats with season tickets they would not need more staff.   When the team first was able to build the waiting list three years ago the team laid off 75% of the ticket salesman because they didn't need staff to manage the indiviual sales.  The Bengals are now re-filling those positions, a direct expense to Mike Brown.

Comrades - keep up the pressure on your family and friends.  Do not let them renew their tickets.  If we keep it up, the Bengals will be blacked out for their first home game, we will hit MB in the pocket and we will send a message that the current management structure is not acceptable.  Viva!

Bill Cowher's Racist Psychotic Chin Surfaces At League Meeting

Bill Cowher's Chin made his first public appearance since Super Bowl week when he held a press conference over the weekend at the NFL League Meetings in LA. During his very short presser he addressed several topics, Bill Romanowski, T.O. and Dhani Jones' show were among the things discussed.

On Romanowski - "Bill Romanowski has been unfairly persecuted by society. He is a valiant, god fearing, ethnicity hating everyman. Whenever we're working out, doing squat thrusts together, I ask him if he's going to be back in the NFL as a coach soon. He says no, regrettably no one wants him to be a coach or even a trainer for the team. I don't get it. Whenever I eat at his training table my lower chin region feels angry and ready to do some hittin."

On T.O. - "The Bills made a big mistake on signing T.O. He isn't going to make your team better. Just because he's fast and strong and productive on the field doesn't help you win games. You know who helps teams win games, Joe Jurevicious. Now that's a free agent a chin can respect."

On Dhani Jones - "My conjoined twin, Bill Cowher, proclaimed the Bengals were bound for the playoffs next year. I hang by his judgement. With that being said, why is one of their starting linebackers cavorting all over the world instead of being a good Bengal in Cincy, robbing liquor stores and smoking black and milds at the Red Cheetah. Also, did anyone else notice that Dhani was the only black guy in Switzerland. Romanowski could live like a king there."