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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Roy Williams To Visit Bengals | Main | Palmer Says Thanks »

March 19, 2009

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I wonder if they considered maybe substituting high school teams for the first few games?
What about Odell Thurman bobble head or T.J Houshmanzadah jersey night?
Maybe free napkins or cups of water with each food purchase?
Gotta think out of the box.

How about an Odell Thurman beer koozie?

Oktoberfest has sucked balls the past two seasons when the Bengals are out of town. They need to be home so we can get shitfaced to soften the blow of another Bengals opening day loss. But hey bad football is better than no football- Mike Brown.

dear nfl
please spot us 20 points for our first three games. im saving my money for next year so i can build through the draft, which since there will be no cap, will be a draft of volunteers, not the ones from Tennessee either.
thanks
bengals

4) 1st-10th Week BYE's to allow Marvin enough time to motivate our practice squad into winning against sub-par teams therefore entering another offseason on a "high" note. (Keeps the money coming in)

And we are not all sending in a protest letter against Mikey's plea???? Let's swamp Roger's desk with complaints about Mikey's BS on this too!

Free napkins with the food! Maybe if he were Dan Snyder rich. Please, I think it'd be more along the lines of free shade for half of the seats, and free sunlight for the other half. Or free views of the Roebling bridge (participation may vary by area).

Who is the source here stating this is what the Bengals want? Plus, why would you go on the road for the first 2 games? The weather will get worse as time goes along and less people will go to the games if the losing continues.

Wow. Mike Brown has real balls. This is like killing both your parents and then throwing yourself on the mercy of the court because you're an orphan.

i just posted the link on the bengals message board, id love to see what some of them say :)

Puffy 44,

I agree. We need to get after the NFL for even considering this scheduling arangement. MB created this mess, so let him swim in his own sewage and reap the "rewards".

Yet another completely fabricated, hate related, bengals made up story by WDR, well done men! lol! be proud...

I believe that game was play against the steelers in 04' when the reds played on the same day! I don't think I wrong, because I was there. If I'm wrong write me back.

Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Keep them coming!That said, just as the strongest startups today are managing to get.I will try to play as soon as I get home from work. I'm not a pastel kind of person, so this will be a fun challenge.
The last thing the Banks need at the moment is to be holding the Title on property that no one wants and in most cases can't afford.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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