IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;
Introduction
WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:
Manifesto Demands
THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”
THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;
THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;
THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;
THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;
THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”
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20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
.359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)
29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.
I would suggestion that fans go to the website for the Bengals, click on future employment opportunities and fill it out applying for general manager and scout positions.
Posted by: JSK | February 03, 2009 at 10:49 PM
I mean, they might as well have Kimo von Oelhoffen standing right next to Carson... Unreal.
Posted by: Who Che | February 03, 2009 at 11:05 PM
.........thats just shameful
and instead of filling them out online, everyone should get inline at the stadium one day and say they are there for an interview for the general manager position.
Posted by: Dylan Hamilton | February 03, 2009 at 11:18 PM
To lighten this up, let's remember that this is a Sports Illustrated Ad. After the Super Bowl is over they usually have some package for the champion. This year it entails a Snuggie and a fanny pack. Let's be real here it couldn't have been intended.
Posted by: CinciSnurbin | February 03, 2009 at 11:23 PM
Why do they call him Baghdad Hob?
Posted by: Neil | February 03, 2009 at 11:45 PM
Hey, I view this as progress. This is the first time that the Bengals have ever included the word "championship" in any fourm that they own or operate.
Posted by: James Houston | February 04, 2009 at 12:10 AM
Yes, but doesn't this show laser sharp focus that the Steelers are determined to make the playoffs again next year and are sticking their necks out to prove it?
Much better than the excuses we get with the Bengals.
Posted by: 5chw4r7z | February 04, 2009 at 08:56 AM
Again (my comment was deleted).... this is simply an ad program put on the Bengals site by the NFL! It has nothing to do with the Bengals putting it there
Posted by: t | February 04, 2009 at 11:11 AM
The Bengals still have a choice as to what banners are being rotated on their website. I used to update websites and its the webmaster who has control over what banners are being run. Hell the webmaster could have used a generic Sports Illustrated web banner and not the Steelers Championship Package! It just shows that in the organization from the top down that no one has any ability to see what is going on every day!
Posted by: Jordan | February 04, 2009 at 11:35 AM
I actually like that idea as one of the Project Mayhem ideas, having people get in line at Paul Brown saying they're applying for the GM position. P.S. keep the faith everyone. Nothing hurts more than going to a major university and having to see happy NFL fans who have successful teams everyday. I know the Bengals will have their day sometime.
Viva la Revolucion
Posted by: Ryan Smith | February 04, 2009 at 11:40 AM
It's an ad server that the NFL manages. No doubt this was a mistake from their central office, but you can't blame the Bengals for this one, as much as you might like to.
The point remains that they don't seem to get that fans HATE the Steelers - illustrated by their reference to Bill Cowher in the season ticket renewal letter.
Mike Brown is terrible. He couldn't hot dog stand.
Posted by: JC | February 04, 2009 at 02:53 PM
100% UNACCEPTABLE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DONT KNOW IF THIS WILL MAKE IT UP OR IF SOMONE ELSE ALREADY TRIED TO POST IT BUT HERE IS THE EMAIL ADRESS OF THE WEBMASTER FOR THE BENGALS...
webmaster@bengals.nfl.net
Posted by: william crosby | February 06, 2009 at 10:02 AM
i 2nd or 3rd the motion that everyone apply for the bengals gm position.
which # mayhem would that be?
1st) on some pre-planned date. everybody puts a resume/cover letter in the mail & sends it to paul brown stadium.
2nd) 1 should be timed to coincide w/ the "impromptu bengals gm hiring day" so the day-of mike brown is opening a huge stack of letters and then looks out the window to see hundreds of dudes dressed in their best suits, briefcases in tow. (it would sorta be like that scene in "shawshank" when the warden at his desk realizes he's been had, police sirens trumpeting his demise...)
-hey let's make it happen. who's in charge here?
Posted by: who d'etat | February 07, 2009 at 11:31 AM