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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;


    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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February 10, 2009


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"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."-Dean Wermer

"Cheap and naive is no way to run an NFL franchise."-WDR

I'm beginning to believe that MB drafts and (re)signs these unsavory picks, so he can simply save money. If no one else wants them, then he can offer them less money.


The Dallas Cowboys dropped Adam "The Artist Formally Known as Pac-Man" Jones today.

As a Bengals fan it scares me to death that 'Ol Mikey might see a return/cover guy that will be REAL cheap.

This has potential to end badly for all of us, or hysterically, no....definitely badly!


I completely agree with Randy and brought it up with a friend in a discussion a little while back.

Agreed with George and know Mikey B is gonna sign problem players from other teams. Just look at this past season, when a certain Bears player had some legal issues and ended up on the Bengals. Suprise, suprise.

I, too, agree with Randy and George, but have a (terrifying) hypothesis: when the Browns bought the team in '68 for $6 million dollars, they niftily side-stepped the whole inheritance issue by having Mike put up the cash.

With Mike looking less than the picture of health, might some of the reasoning for hiring family (at exorbitant rates, no doubt) and ruining the value of the Bengals be so that Katie and Troy can inherit most of the team? I mean, Forbes' valuation of $1 billion means a $#&%-ton of capital gains taxes when he finally kicks the bucket.

Mike Brown;
Daddy, do you think we need more scouts now than we needed in 1978 when we still have the same amount of picks but there are more players to choose from?

Paul Brown;
Son, when I get home I'm goin' slap your mama right in the mouth!

Hey,that was Bufford T. Justice talking, not me!

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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