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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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February 10, 2009

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Sweet now I can ressurect my Irons jersey and wear it in pride! LOL I always felt bad wearing that thing but I'm going to sport it proudly. I am definitely going to get a former Bengal player's jersey that's for another team now. I love that idea.

The only jersey I have ever worn to PBS is a '80s-style #78. When people ask me why I don't own something more current, I tell them that I am 100% confident that Anthony Munoz will never do or say anything that would make me embarassed to be a Bengals fan, then I ask them if there is someone on the current roster who fits that description. Btw, my wife wears a '80s-vintage #7.

Not living in Cincinnati, I will probably end up at sports bars showing NFL games in the upcoming season. And I will probably cheer for the Bengals (if only for the players stuck there, not the woeful management). However, not only do I refuse to wear new Bengals gear, I refuse to wear Bengals gear period. From now on, the only shirt I wear is the "Mike Brown FAIL" shirt (or any variants thereof). If Mike Brown wants me to wear any Bengals' hat, jersey, shirt, jacket, etc., it's probably going to take nothing less than a Super Bowl......even then, I might still have to negotiate.

Best altered jersey: the guy who taped over the first three letters of "THURMAN" and replaced it with "BEE".

I'm sorry, but I feel that Bengals fans in the new jerseys are tools. I can't believe we don't have more fans wearing the throwbacks. I get asked the same question. I have a Ken Anderson jersey 70's style, and I simply say, I won't be controlled by the biggest douchebag in Cincy.

I've been trying to locate an Akili Smith college jersey for years, It's good to know that if I do find one I have the revolutions blessings.

"OUT BROWN" #09 or any year number. There is also "BROWN STAIN" #18 for the years he's stain'd this franchise.

"OUT BROWN" #09 or any year number. There is also "BROWN STAIN" #18 for the years he's stain'd this franchise.

Isn't rule #2 a violation of Project Mayhem Task 3...assuming one doesn't already have a personalized jersey reading "Hire a GM" or the like? I like the idea of the personalized jersey to make a statement, but if I were to purchase one I'd be disregarding the boycott.

I wear my Freel jersey to all Bengals related events.

Woot! My Peter Warrick jersey is always sexy. I especially like to wear it to Dilliards. It's really a win-win for a FSU fan like me.

I'm thinking of finding a Reggie Rembert, Derrick Fenner, Garrison Hearst, Paul Justin, Michael Westbrook, Jay Schroeder, Damon Gibson or Craig Yeast jersey.

Another idea for jerseys to wear at PBS: Wear jerseys of players that the Bengals passed on that have been successful. Eagles' DeSean Jackson, Rams' Steven Jackson, Saints' Sedrick Ellis, Dolphins' Joey Porter, Jets' Derelle Revis would all work. I would say the Browns' Shaun Rodgers or Steelers' LaMarr Woodley but that would just be sacrilege and I'd feel like I'd need to take 8 consecutive showers after wearing them.

My father has been known to wear his Carl Pickens jersey on game days...as we naturally watch from home, because who wants to buy tickets to go watch that garbage?

The Pickens jersey is clearly the cream of the crop. We are talking about a man who was not a bad player when he was here, and someone who was so disgusted with the Mike Brown way that he got a contract clause named after him before he parted ways. A clause that is the illegitimate love child of Mike Brown's ego and his paranoia.

Why buy custom when you can just find some cheap Pickens jersey lying around that says the same thing? "This team sucks, its management sucks, and I deserve better." Amen Carl, wherever you are.

Speaking of players the bengals passed on, I'm either gonna get a jersey of Tomlinson or Adrian Peterson. Maybe I'll get a Haynesworth jersey, just because I have a bad feeling Mike Brown will pass him up.


Lastly. Anyone who wears an Eric Ghiacuc jersey is lame. As far as I know, Ghiacuc is the only person I've seen wear his jersey. He better stay unsigned. Or I will root for a different team. The 18 years under Brown have been a disaster.

I have a backup team to support if Ghiacuc does get resigned
I've narrowed it down to one choice based on these factors:
Not an AFC North Team.
Not a team in any state that borders Ohio.
Is a team that plays in the state I was born in.
Is not the Patriots, Cowboys, or either Jersey team(which is allegedly NY)
Is definitely not the 49ers.
Hint: When the _____ come marching in

That's just theoretical. But seriously. Ghiacuc better stay unsigned. I applaud whoever originally posted that.


I think Ghiacuc should be one of WDR's enemies, along with Cowher, Montana, Hines, Kimo, MBB, Big Ben, John Taylor, Clark, Steelers, Browns, Ravens...etc

I will never stop wearing my Boomer #7...

Unless someone has a Tremaine Mack jersey for sale.

I completely agree with this, yet am at a loss about what to do with my TJ jersey next year when he's playing for a better team. Although I guess now it's considered chic to wear Mike Brown's failures on your back. Could that be a potential jersey? The name could say "Mike Brown's Failures" and you could get a number 8, remove it and sew it back on horizontally.

I think wearing pre-owned TJ jerseys should be mandatory for all owners - last year, this year, and forever.

...Unless of course you own a #4 'wins in 08' jersey

I have an oddball collection of 1st "round draft busts" that I cherish...

Akili Smith
Dan Wilkinson
Kajana Carter
David Klingler

All framed and in my moronic Bengals shrine. Yes, I am a Douche.

What's the ruling on chinese knock offs? It's bengals gear of which not a penny goes to Mike Brown.

Here's the link: http://www.jersey-china.com/products.asp?id=s473

I have the rarest of rare, purchased at Kochs: A game warn, Turk Schonert Jersey. Yes, I am going down to the Waterfront as soon as I drop my clipboard on Sunday!

I own the following jerseys:

First the jerseys I have deemed unfit to wear:
Old Chad - wont wear because of his ass-hattery last off season
New Chad - ditto
Odell - I may play the role of a drunkard while at PBS, but you wont see me getting a DUI.
Rudi - My dog gets to wear this one.

Now the one jersey that I will wear with pride:
Chris Henry - I know what you are thinking, how can he take exception with Odell's stupidity and not care about the rap sheet of "Slim 15". Well, here is the catch. Its a personalized jersey. #15 with "Thug Life" on the name plate. I even yell out 2-Pac's infamous Thuuuuuuuuuug Liiiiiiiife! whenever the opportunity presents.

The dude keeps it real, and therefore, I must represent, yo. I was worried that after the last last last straw that my purchase would go wasted, much like 90% of all of the first round choice jerseys. Thankfully Mikey gave me another entire season of use out of it when he undercut Mr Nervous Laugh.

If Mikey embraces ghetto, it is my duty to follow suit. I constantly get compliments on it and it is easily the most fitting jersey of my collection.

- Soon to be former ticket holder in section 124.

I will be wearing T.J. Houshmandzadeh or Peter Warrick #80 for the forseeable future.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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